Urban Poverty Law Center

When Mr. Wilson arrived in a small Mississippi town, a stranger to the area, he struck up a conversation with some of the locals in an attempt to get acquainted. During the small talk a dog off in the distance began to bark incessantly. It soon became an annoyance to Mr. Wilson, who, mid sentence, stopped his line of thought and blurted out famously; "I wish I owned half that dog." When one in the group queried why? It was then he let go with the blunder of a lifetime. "Because I'd kill my half!" With that statement Mr. Wilson sealed his reputation in that small Southern town. "Recon what would become of the other half of that dog, if he killed his half, suppose he even considered that?" "Peers to be a fool. Yep. Peers to be a fool."(1) And thus Puddin'head Wilson got his moniker. One can almost hear President Obama's annoying dog yelping off in the distance, just out of his sight and that barking dog is the part of the American ec...

PRIMARY SEASON by Jackson Maybolt Primary Season loss of reason Newt Gingrich Eat your Spinach Primary time loss of rhyme Rick Santorum Damn decorum Primary colors Iranian Mullahs Mitt Romney I like astronomy Primary evil cotton boweavel Ron Paul Walking Tall Primary Season Loss of reason Barack Obama makin love to yo mama Primary time loss of rhyme Georgie Soros rich and morose Primary colors Iranian Mullahs Joseph P. Biden Where you been hidden Primary evil cotton boweavel main stream media boycott Wikipedia Jackson Delano Maybolt, President and founder Urban Poverty/Southern Poetry Law Centers "You read us because we are right!" jdm

For those politically connected to the Urban Poverty Law Center at the hip you already know Florida's GOP moved their presidential primary up from a later date to gain more influence in the nominating process. As a result the GOP lowered their delegate count to the convention from a "C" to a shining "L" note. For my friends who do not recall the Roman numerals and did not study two years of Latin like me and Bell, back in the late 1960's taught by that saint Mischke, where her skills as an instructor took an under-motivated student, me, and gave me the necessary skills to place in the second year of Latin at my university to complete my foreign language requirement by translating again "Caesar's Gaelic Wars", that is 100 delegates to 50 delegates. I say, so what? Mitt gets 50 en route to the over 1100 needed to win the nomination. I am with Stalin on this one. It means nothing. As the liberal, Mitt Romney, is really expected to poll w...

If you are nearly 60 and your children are grown, but they still know where you live you may need one of these cars. Here's why. I was ruminating with my pal Robert Turgedson, who, like me has been through a few wives and has kids. He asked what the Shelby cost and when I told him about 8 thousand more than his fully decked out Nissan 4x4 Armada, he chided it was one hell of an expensive midlife crisis. I disagreed and told him how in the long run it would save me money. He mused he could justify his Armada since he still had a bunch of children to haul around. I responded though I too had a bunch of children , mine were getting to the age where I saw more sense in out running them than hauling them around, hence the need for the Shelby and its 550 horsepower supercharged power plant. Robert Turgedson raised his eye brows and nodded and I knew I had him. The children can not ask for money if they can not catch you. Below is the latest offering to you, dear reader from our own...

RUMINATIONS ON A FINE TUESDAY MORNING AT THE HUNTINGDON FLEA MARKET by Carroll Pierpont Gibson While strolling 'midst the offered wares I spy a maiden fair. Young and strong with limbs so long None other can compare! Bedecked in lace and gossamer, Her body lithe and lean. This nubile prize with shining eyes, Lips slicked with Vaseline! I breathless watch her glance my way And realize with a start She could be the ONE for me! Be still, my trembling heart!!! In my mind's eye, I see it clear The path that lay before: A cozy cottage by the lake, Three kids, or maybe more! Rumblings deep well up within O'er this lovely fresh faced lass. My love? My life? My virgin wife? Oh wait. It's only gas. Carroll Gibson is an arrogant attorney who practices law between drinking binges which last sometimes upwards of three weeks. He has a sixth sense about juries and picks only winners for his clients. He charges a little more when he can remember to bill, but he is worth the ...

The Country Divorce I represented a lady named Lois A divorce she did get for a horse Her husband was kind When he had half a mind But since he did snore and their love life a bore so off she rode on her horse. Trot, trot, trot, kerka plop went the poo trot, trot, trot, down the road went the two her husband, sheddin a tear as they left finally broke down and quietly he wept Yea she was mean and I should rejoice but there goes old Lois on my favorite horse C. Batsell Bateman, III, Southern Poetry Law Center

Learned readers. It is with great pleasure I introduce to this site the world renoun gifted lawyer from Leach, Tennessee, Mr. C. Batsell Bateman, III Esq. C. Batsell attended undergraduate at Bethel College where he graduated Magna Cum Tarde, he took 8 long years to get his undergrad degree in physical education. His daddy, C. Batsell, Jr JD was one of the finest county judges ever to sit on the bench in Carroll county. He got C. Batsell III enrolled at Memphis State Law School and he graduated in three years. C. Batsell, III was unable to pass the bar exam, but is allowed to practice law with his daddy and his partners, Bateman, Foggherty, Bateman and Schlick. Bateman and Bateman are specialized in common law, criminal law and divorce, Foggherty deals only in bankruptcy, and Sherwood Schlick specializes in slip and falls and personal injury cases. C. Batsell, III has agreed to write for Southern Poetry Law Center on an as needed and as able basis. He fell and bumped his noggin rather ...

Tooting one's own horn when it is connected to a red Ford Shelby GT 500 mustang with a supercharged 550 horsepower 5.4 litre (sophisticated European spelling only when I am feeling braggadocios as today) engine is icing on the cake of accolades. I read my post on Jan 11, 2012, and having just a touch of dementia, marveled at my creation! Today's post is the challenge for all 50 of my readers today to re read that post which says "Mitt Romney will not play well in Dixie. We may talk funny down here in the South, but we can spot phony a mile away. Mitt is phony........" That post was damn near a prediction of Mitt's loss of South Carolina. I did not know who would beat Romney, but only that he would not win a truly southern state. But Jack, Florida polls show Mitt Romney leading in that southern state. Aw yes, green grasshopper, real southerners have realized Florida has not been a part of Dixie since the civil war when first it was overrun with Yankees, and ...

Good Lord, folks! Newt Gingrich has more testosterone as a 68 yr old grandfather than my 3 yr old Angus Bull who weighs 10 times as much as Newt. To be a successful politician on the male side having extra testosterone is an advantage. The way Newt Gingrich took John King and CNN to task at the beginning of the 16th Republican Presidential Debate was like watching a pack of wolves bring down a bison. It was beautiful. I have watched it 4 times and marvel at the power of his prose. He is the most gifted orator on the stage. What is truly remarkable is his unwillingness to let these media figures, who shill for the democrat party, shape the debate and herd the republican candidates and try to paint them in an unfavorable light. Every question is slanted and selected to bring out a weakness or a perceived weakness in the conservative argument. Clearly Newt Gingrich has had enough of this nonsense and is strong enough to push back. Last night Newt pushed back so hard, John King and CNN and...

Rick Perry is calling it quits in his bid to be the republican nominee for president. A spokesman for the Perry campaign is quoted: "Even though Governor Perry has excellent credentials, and is a true dyed in the wool conservative, we were unable to get our message out through the cacophony of discordant background noise coming from the other campaigns and the unfriendly press. We felt it would be better to regroup, save our money and try again in 2016 when Obama has really screwed up the economy and the country will be willing to pull away from all things Obama!" Iowa has announced Rick Santorum the 34 vote winner in that states caucuses. Mitt Romney will not rewind his Iowa victory lap as he feels it would be detrimental to his South Carolina campaign....almost as detrimental as releasing his tax returns. Sarah Palin has said she would vote for Newt Gingrich if she were voting in the South Carolina primary. Her thinking is that this needs to play out so the candidates can b...

Anyone who is a devout follower of these pages knows the Ford Motor Company was kind enough to loan the Law Center a 2012 Shelby GT 500 mustang for the month. Of course we had insurance on it through my long time school chum and friend C. Batsell Bateman, III. I believe, and this pains me greatly, the Shelby Cobra sunk its deadly venom into a hound that ran into its path last evening! I was on highway 22 traveling east at night in the Township of McKenzie, a delightful hamlet of well off Tenneseans who live between Atwood and Paris, Tennessee on highway 79 and the rail line which used to be the GM and O, and the L and N, now taken over by CSX, when up ahead and to my right I spy a couple of reflections from pairs of eyes in the swell off the side of the road. Animals running along the side of the road towards traffic for sure. I took note and estimated at my current speed, 45 mph, and the distance they were in front of me, about 50 yards, that I would be out of danger in about 3 se...

What do you do when your keyboard stares up at you like a hungry puppy watching you eat a biggie order of french fries from McDonalds and your mind is a blank? As those of you who have muddled through the first sentence already know you type out some worthless piece of literal garbage which will amuse few. Some more gifted readers will bolt, but some who enjoy watching the train wreck will tarry on, deeper and deeper, pulled not so much by curiosity but more by the shallow hope that Jackson Delano Maybolt will find his voice and the missive will be saved! You are forewarned! Proceed at your own peril. I have read this morning of the supreme courts decision to allow parochial schools the freedom to hire and fire according to the church's doctrine and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission rules do not supersede the church. It is an affirmation of the 1st amendment of the constitution. It was a 9-0 decision and I cannot disagree. I have read that the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, ...

Some financial experts place Warren Buffett's economic empire holdings at upwards of $45 billion dollars. This is a substantial sum under the control of one Midwestern man who other than this modest accomplishment could be just another aging man in America you might run into at the country store or sitting on the benches in the local Wal-Mart foyer waiting for momma to finish shopping. Buffett with his Berkshire-Hathaway investments has tied up enough capital to make all government expenditures for about three days. That's it. Warren Buffett could take the US Government over for only three days. Does he think his matching contributions from republican senators dollar for dollar is going to make any difference in our financial crisis? I hope he is only being absurd because of the absurdity of the situation where we find our government stuck between a financial abyss and a hard place. I am a lucky man. I have not missed a meal for want ever in my lifetime. Like that fellow in the...

I will no longer call Mitt Romney, "Willard". I say good bye, but you say hello! He is the country club establishment blue blood Karl Rove wing of the republican party's choice, and thus the choice of the nose to the grindstone work 80 hours a week to pay your taxes tea party conglomerate. What choice do we have? After all we only vote, THEY count the votes! I still believe if 40 % of the US voters consider themselves independent, the Barracuda could enter the presidential sweepstakes and win. If this political season plays out as planned by the KrustzaRovians, all the republican monkeys will fall to the top man. Bachmann and Perry are toast. South Carolina will demonstrate what we in the south already know, a Massachusetts Blue blood chameleon cannot pass muster. Mitt will not play well in Dixie. We may talk funny, but we spot phony from a mile away. Mitt is phony. Al Gore, phony. John Edwards, phony. John Kerry, phony. John McCain, phony. Barack Obama, p...

My sister's boy is a product of the 80's culture of everybody is a winner. When he took out a loan for a car he was employed, but since loosing his job at the Pizza Hut as a driver, he can no longer make the $330/ month payments. He is seriously underwater on this car. It is valued at only $3,500 and he owes over $6,000. My sister is asking me to help out and I am weighing my options. In this economy Jr is unlikely to get a job that will pay enough to make his car and insurance payments. Is it better for me to pull the plug now or should I throw more money at the rats at the finance company who made a shaky loan to an unproven 20 something in the first place? At some point I must tell my sister that Jr's fate is sealed and the car is going back to the finance company with or without my contribution. I have opted out and do not wish to spend any of my hard earned cash or unearned cash in hopeless causes. The US Government is Jr, and we, the American tax payer, are the parent...

Willard Romney, leading GOP candidate and presumed winner of the republican sweepstakes for coronation for the chance to oppose President Barack Who's ane Obama in this years competition for president of the United States of America, is said to have blurted out to about 200 people at Mille's Coffee and Bagel Shop in Nashua, that "I like to fire people." With the applause, which followed Romney's revelation into his seemingly darker businessman side, what went unheard and therefore unreported until now is this: Willard Romney is a human cannon ballist. Yes, he is wealthy enough to own his own human cannon ball cannon and enjoys literally firing people out of his cannon and into his own governmental OSHA approved safety net. Not the kind of net you are thinking of with our outlandish entitlement programs, it is a net, a real honest to goodness net woven here in America by union net weavers in Willowbea, Idaho. Willard first got interested in Human Cannon Ballistics ...

If a president of the United States holds office unconstitutionally, because he is not a "natural born citizen" defined as born in this country of American citizen parents, can his unconstitutional appointment of Richard Cordray as Director of The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau while the US Senate is in session be legal? Fact: Barack Hussein Obama, Sr was a British citizen via Kenya when Baby Barack was born either in Kenya or Hawaii, makes no difference, this fact should trump all others as to whether this man is eligible for the highest elective office in our land. Clearly he is not eligible unless his parentage can be shown to be different than advertised. Back to point. Is making an unconstitutional appointment by an unconstitutional president constitutional? Is it like a double negative? Is this what his people are counting on. My people are much maligned here in the South for their use of the King's English for our use of the double negative to mean a negative...

I am not going to pile on Mitt Romney. I have already done that in a posting in which I ask, is a man named Willard electable? I answer it that even Millard Filmore's parents intuited the answer as a great big fat "NO!" Willard's Iowa 25% is a huge rejection of his insider big R republican bonafides, conservatives and tea party affiliates find objectionable. If the field narrows and the bottom tier caucus vote getters bow out, these voters will naturally go for the only outsider small R republicans left standing. Splitting the conservative vote allows the country club coalition of republican insiders to coalesce around Willard giving him his best chance at a nomination a la Juan McCain's disappointing capture of the 2008 nomination which ensured the coronation of King Teleprompt of Hawaii, Indonesia, or Kenya, take your pick. I like Bachmann, the beautiful, Gingrich, the terrible, Paul, the unelectable, Perry, the lovable dope, Huntsman, the invisible candidat...

My best pal from age 5 all through school, both primary and secondary, is a banker who works and lives in Houston. He has experienced the oil boom/ bust cycle inherent in the economy through the 80's up until now. He warned me of the housing bubble/bust which got me essentially out of rental houses in 2006 and over to farmlands in our place of birth, Western Tennessee. I will refer to him only as David and only he and I know if it is his real name to protect him from any repercussions for allowing a non banker inside secrets reserved only for the most well connected in the financial world. David and I have shared our lives and consider ourselves to be brothers. One day he told me something I believe is a great secret kept tightly guarded by the banking establishment. "Maybolt, when a man owes the bank a hundred thousand dollars it is the man's problem. But when the man owes the bank 5 million dollars, it is the bank's problem." I have reflected on David's ...