Willard Romney, leading GOP candidate and presumed winner of the republican sweepstakes for coronation for the chance to oppose President Barack Who's ane Obama in this years competition for president of the United States of America, is said to have blurted out to about 200 people at Mille's Coffee and Bagel Shop in Nashua, that "I like to fire people."
With the applause, which followed Romney's revelation into his seemingly darker businessman side, what went unheard and therefore unreported until now is this:
Willard Romney is a human cannon ballist.
Yes, he is wealthy enough to own his own human cannon ball cannon and enjoys literally firing people out of his cannon and into his own governmental OSHA approved safety net. Not the kind of net you are thinking of with our outlandish entitlement programs, it is a net, a real honest to goodness net woven here in America by union net weavers in Willowbea, Idaho.
Willard first got interested in Human Cannon Ballistics when he was a wee lad and he attended the Ringing Bros Circus with his father. He sat and watched, enthralled, from the first row as Manfred Von Wernekee, a decorated veteran of WW II, who fought against the allies, was fired from a cannon across three rings, 12 elephants, 7 camels, three beautiful and scantily clad ladies standing on cantering white horses and a ring master in a red jacket and a black top hat into a net at the far end of the circus tent. Right then little Willard Romney promised himself he would get one of these one day and he would fire people. He got his own cannon in 1986 and he has been firing people and loving it ever since!
Many former presidents had interesting and unusual hobbies.
Gerald Ford collected foot pedal sewing machines. Jimmy Carter collects quilts and loves to play board games. Richard Nixon had a colorful men's sock garter belt collection. Bill Clinton plays the saxophone and who can forget, also dabbled with the hormonica. Harry Truman played the piano, and even Barack Obama breeds gerbils as a hobby and a passion. He has an entire room upstairs in the living quarters of the White House which is entirely devoted to his gerbils. He has seen the chipmunk's movie three times.
And this is the rest of the story. Do you think Slick Willard is stupid? Jokes on you.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
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