Urban Poverty Law Center Balances The Federal Budget

Fellow Workers of The World: What happens when the people hate the government as much as the government hates the people? Answer: Egypt, Lybia, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia, Greece, China, Madison, Wisconsin...................................................



Mandatory spending by our beneficent Federal Potentate and Protectorate was a cool 2.184 trillion dollars. Of these monies 1.448 trillion dollars went to pay for social security, medicare, and medicaid obligations. Add 11billion dollars for disaster relief and 164 billion for interest payments on the debt and all that is left up to ones imagination is the 571 billions in miscellaneous expenses(ME)!

What ever do you suppose the ME include? Twenty-five percent of mandatory spending is not cataloged. My thinking of what happened to the ME:

Phil McCracken, Gay Czar: " Mr. President, word on the street has the military spending on technology that can predict one's sexual preference at 100% certainty. They are calling it, "gaydar.""

President Obama: "Phil, as you know I have repealed "Don't ask don't tell" and now we are under "Do ask and do tell." I knew I could not trust the armed forces to be compliant with this order! What is left in the ME budget?"

Phil: "A little less than 527 billion, sir."

President Obama: "Tag a billion five and get it over to the boys in semi-valley and get them to develop a chip that blocks gaydar and quiffs patchouli oil. Better yet make it an even 2 billion."

Phil: "Mr. President, that is brilliant! Two beautiful birds with one stone! You are likely to raise a lot of campaign cash out there this year. Marvelous!"

President Obama: "That is why I was elected to this office. I am a natural leader. People notice that about me, right away. And Phil, make sure you stress the jobs we created and that these jobs are gay and green.

Phil McCracken: "I can get Steve Jobs on the phone so you can tell him what you want."

President Obama: "Great idea. Let's set it up as a publicity event, you know, have the press listening in on my conversation with Steve."

Break:

Next Day, White House Briefing Room filled with the usual reporters and reporterettes.

President Obama, on phone to Steve Jobs,: "Steve, my man, how is it hanging? Did you get the 2 bill I sent you? "

Steve Jobs: "Yes, Mr. President, sure did."

President Obama: "I know you will use our tax monies wisely. How many jobs do you suppose we have saved or created with this 2 billion dollars?"

Steve Jobs: "Oh, wow. I would have to say.... uh, you caught me off guard here. "

President Obama: "Steve, you are not going to be held to your prediction, just a rough guess, that is all we need."

Steve Jobs: "The fellows in R and D will be first and foremost in the thick, then testing and refinement, and finally production and marketing......7 sixes, carry the eight, divide by 3, let me see here, Mr. President, there will be three jobs saved and two jobs created."

President Obama: "Wow Steve, that is more than I would have guessed! You do great work.
Keep it up. By the way, Michelle wants to know what diet you are following, the weight is melting off you? What's your secret? The world wonders!"

Steve Jobs: "Ah..... smaller portions."


End.


Mandatory Spending 2010 budget:

social security 695 billion
medicare 453 billion
medicaid 290 billion
disaster 11 billion
interest pymt 164 billion
miscellaneous exp 571 billion

Discretionary Spending:

defence 671 billion
dept of education 127 billion
dept of transportation 120.6 billion
dept health and human service 99.2 billion
dept of energy 65 billion
dept of housing and urban develop 61.1 billion
dept of veteran affairs 57.3 billion
dept of state 51.7 billion
homeland security 42.7 billion
dept of agriculture 26 billion
dept of justice 26.5 billion
dept of labor 18.1 billion
dept of commerce 21.7 billion
NASA 19.7 billion
EPA 17.7 billion
Dept of interior 15 billion
dept of treasury 13.6 billion
social security adm 12.7 billion
national science foundation 3.7 billion
corp of engineers 9.7 billion
small business adm 1.4 billion
corps of nature and conservation 1.3 billion
URBAN POVERTY LAW CENTER 0.0 BILLIONS!!!!!!!!!

Note, the Urban Poverty Law Center is not affiliated with the federal budget, not yet anyway, so I can give advice and make recommendations.

cut all discretionary spending by 25%.

Cut medicare payments to hospitals and physicians by 20% but make these payments tax free to the recipients.

Cut miscellaneous expenses by 33%.

total savings employing these tactics: billions and billions.

Fund Urban Poverty Law Center $5,398.52 for this advice.

I believe the congress and all federal workers must take the 33% reduction in pay and benefits until the federal budget is balanced.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD Urban Poverty Law Center

"Ever notice how everybody's goal is either get on disability or find a government job?"
Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008

Urban Poverty Law Center and Egypt

As President of America's premier Urban Poverty Law Center and think tank, a few words about Egypt seem in order. Though I have not personally been to Egypt, my ex-wife's daughter, Katharine, was there last year with her Spaniard beau, Al.
She has assured us that his last name is not Qaeda, but from the photographs we see posted on face book we are not completely off our guard. She is a beautiful child with blond hair and standing about 5 foot 7 inches tall, with a nice Cleopatra like figure. She wrote that she had throngs of Egyptian men following her and Al, many wanting to snap their photo. She will be 28 next birthday, never married and by Cedar Grove, Tennessee standards, well on the way to becoming an old maid.

First, our sentiments go out to the rioters who lost their lives fighting for a better life, and to their families. My grandmother used to admonish me whenever I had done silly and after some reflection very dangerous things, like the time I was 14 yrs old and took Bill Stones' dare to jump off the railroad bridge crossing the Forked Deer River south of Humboldt in 1967.

It was a thirty foot drop into only 14 inches of water. The fright of the fall caused me to panic and stiffen up. When I hit the bottom of the river, I jolted my lower back as my feet impacted the sandy bottom of the river, driving my legs into my pelvis into my back and the shock up my spine caused me to lose consciousness briefly. When I fell back into the cool water I was revived and found my legs paralysed from the waist down. I am thankful that I did not dive that day. I knew the depth of the water so I knew not to dive.

I crawled out of the water using only my arms, dragging my useless legs behind me. I collapsed on the sandy beach riverside to moan, not able to even attempt standing for over an hour. My four young comrades, none of whom had any medical training, discounted the seriousness of my debility and were prepared to leave me there, beached and unable to move. This was sufficient motivation to get me up and started on my 5 mile hike down the tracks back towards home. The first mile was very painful, but as the miles passed my debility and pain lessened and now I am fully recovered 43 yrs later.

I believe I would have been two inches taller if I had not broken my back in that stupid jump. I still went on to win the Heisman Trophy playing for USC and I starred in a few Hollywood films before I was framed for my ex-wife's murder. I wish had never jumped off that bridge. Live and learn.

Back to Egypt, I feel they are about to jump into a river without first sounding its depth. Jimmy Carter, threw the Shaw of Iran under the bus in the late 70's and we see how well that worked out for the people of Iran and neighbors. Now Jimmy Carter jr without the peanuts, the great community organizer is going to re-organize Egypt into a radical Islamic State like Iran, and we will see a world that is a much more dangerous place in which to live and do business.

Predictions, all currencies will fall v the dollar. Let's face it America is still a safe haven for investments when compared to all others. With the stronger dollar oil will fall as will the price of gold.

How sure am I of these predictions? I believe greater than 50% certain. Will this keep me from buying gold, no. I just hope the commodity price run up for farm products continues into the fall. I would use the money to help pull some of my neighbors up out of poverty. If you haven't bought a farm yet, this will be a great time to do so.

And D.B. Bell, banker extraordinaire, you lost another cow. Larry took the back hoe over and attended to the ceremony last week. Merle Davis said it was a heart attack. On the bright side, we have 8 new calves out in the pasture since new yrs day. Looks like a calf preschool with all the little ones running about! Cattle is money that you can eat.

Jack Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center

"Strike only to kill when dealing with Kings, for the king's men are ruthless, just ask Anne Boleyn."
Mother Maybolt 1922-2008