If you are nearly 60 and your children are grown, but they still know where you live you may need one of these cars. Here's why.
I was ruminating with my pal Robert Turgedson, who, like me has been through a few wives and has kids. He asked what the Shelby cost and when I told him about 8 thousand more than his fully decked out Nissan 4x4 Armada, he chided it was one hell of an expensive midlife crisis. I disagreed and told him how in the long run it would save me money.
He mused he could justify his Armada since he still had a bunch of children to haul around. I responded though I too had a bunch of children , mine were getting to the age where I saw more sense in out running them than hauling them around, hence the need for the Shelby and its 550 horsepower supercharged power plant.
Robert Turgedson raised his eye brows and nodded and I knew I had him. The children can not ask for money if they can not catch you.
Below is the latest offering to you, dear reader from our own Legal Expert in Residence Carroll Pierpoint Gibson.
LING CHOW'S BLUNDER
by Carroll Pierpont Gibson
Long ago and far away
Lived the Emperor Ho Phat Chin.
A leader stern, but wise, was he.
Revered by all his men.
Call him "Your Highness", "My Liege", "My Lord".
He was OK with that.
You could even address him as Emperor Chin.
(Just don't call him Phat!)
Ho Phat Chin had particular taste
When it came to the fairer sex.
The only ones who did it for him
Were women with long thin necks.
Short or tall or fat or thin
A woman could turn him on,
This mighty Emperor Ho Phat Chin
If she sported the neck of a swan.
Weary of statecraft and war, the Emperor
Called in his servant Ling Chow.
"Fetch me a woman whose touch will erase
These lines on my furrowed brow."
Ling Chow found a woman, gorgeous and wise
In the ways of pleasuring men.
And he dreamt of the favor he'd certainly win
With the Emperor Ho Phat Chin.
To the palace he strode with the beautiful girl,
Swelled up, fairly bursting with pride.
And he never once noticed, never gave it a thought
That her neck was too thick and too wide,
For Ling Chow was new to the court, and it seems
That no one had clued him in
About the very particular tastes
Of the Emperor Ho Phat Chin.
He presented this prize to the Emperor who
Exploded with such a great roar
Ling Chow clapsed his hands over both of his ears
And fell on his knees to the floor.
"You IDIOT," bellowed Ho Phat Chin,
"My word is law! Don't you know
I will flay you alive if ever again
You bring me a Fat Chin 'Ho!!!!"
Jack Maybolt, President and founder of the Urban Poverty Law Center and the Southern Poetry Law Center
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