Mark Twain, the famous writer and humorist from middle America, said "No man can stand success; another's that is." And now we learn the Occupy Wall Street feather heads or as Mark Twain might refer to them, these puddin'heads have collected over half a million dollars they claim to care for the needs of those patriots who are protesting so that others may live comfortable lives freed up of needless diversions such as working for a living.
How much of the monies raised will be due the IRS? Unless they have filled for a tax exempt form from the IRS, they will be shocked at what they will pay. They will learn a hard lesson. Socialism is not free and shortly they will know the hardest lesson socialism has to offer: "Pretty soon you run out of other peoples money."
I want to be the first to point out they have not paid the tax on these monies, and should be entitled to the 10% tattlers fee the IRS so generously offers to Tax Squealers! I can see my ship's sails out on the horizon, here she comes!
Well, place the Urban Poverty Law Center in the envy chair on this one. The Occupy Wall Street crowd is raking in contributions from every commie and Marxist front group in the world, and my Occupy Cedar Grove, Tennessee, (OCGT) has raised zilch!
I have enough money to last for another 35 minutes out in this cold, but without some serious help here I am going to have call this one for the Wall Street Boys. I will have to fold up my tent and go home.
Thank you for your prayers and letters of support. By the time many of you see this I will be back inside my warm house. I will leave the protests to the professionals at SEIU, the Teamsters, and by what ever new name ACORN is using until the next public scandal!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
Showing posts with label IRS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IRS. Show all posts
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Opens Stock Market In Cedar Grove
Aside from winning life's lottery, blessed with the best parents and grandparents imaginable, I have not won to many items in my lifetime. When I was in the 7th grade, I did win a fruit cake at a raffle, but I did not eat it. Do you know anybody who has ever eaten a piece of fruit cake and lived to tell about it? I wrote about my win back in 1965 on a previous blog and shortly there after was contacted by the Internal Revenue Service to inform me I owed them approximately $3,234.53 in back taxes with interest and penalties for their share of the cake!
The way they saw it that cake was worth $3.25, making their cut 48 cents in 1966.
What the IRS did not know was that fruit cake has been making the rounds since 1965 as a gag gift, carefully stored in its original container and wrap and gifted to another family member each year.
I knew Aunt Cloteil Finkbinder had gotten it last year, so I retrieved it from her and mailed it in to the US Treasury with a copy of their letter, explaining the fruit cakes history and that I really did not accept the cake and had donated it to charity that year by gifting it to my older sister. Therefore, since I did not claim my $3.25 deduction that year which I was entitled to under the law, I had over paid them by 48 cents and they actually owed me the $3,234.53 in interest and penalties I have accrued since my blunder as a 13 yr old whose only source of income that year was a 4-H bull I hand raised and fed out to 2,237 lbs named Homer.
Ned Barker bought Homer from me and turned him into hamburger. I am anxiously awaiting the answer from the Treasury. I bet they do not have many fruit cakes at the Treasury, if you exclude Treasury Secretary Geithner. I hope they did not think it was a suspicious package. I did not even think, post anthrax scare, they might not take it the way it was intended.
Anyway, I am not in jail yet, and I have not been hit by a swat team and tazed into submission. I have been working on a couple of ideas for clothing lines to protect our seniors from falls and hikers in the bear and lion country.
Bubble wrapped clothing which would protect grandma and pa in a fall and cushion the hips and shoulders, the sites most commonly fractured in falls, and spiked outer wear like that of a porcupine for active hikers along with a spiked helmet, light and breazy like a bike helmet but armored so as to cause a significant injury if bitten or struck by the fleshy part of a paw.
Just thoughts. I believe these ideas are brilliant and I hereby declare it my personal intellectual property on July 26, 2011 at 0645cdst!
I dub the line of bubble wrapped protective outer wear as BubbaWrap (R) as it will be made here in the South. And my line of spike lined outer wear and head gear, Billiebear-Spikewear-if-u-Dare (R).
Last intellectually copyrighted idea involves placing support tracks along the ceilings in our old peoples home from which bungee suspended vests on the tracks that grandma and pa wear which in case of falls the bungee slows and prevents gravity from winning and your loved one never smacks the floor. This I call Maybolt's Marvelous Mama Mover (R). Some cost will be incurred in installation, but much, much cheaper than a year in the nursing home, and the oldsters are oh so grateful not to be bed bound. A pulley and counter weight can be added to make them lighter on their feet, but this will require a doctor's order. Gravity vs bones is good for you except in cases of falls.
I have opened these fantastic original ideas to the ordinary investor, I have only 14.23 trillion shares of common stock and 10 trillion shares of preferred stock. The last quote on the Urban Poverty Law Center Stock Market has them priced at .0001 cent per share for the common stock up 1000% from yesterday's close of .00001. Better hurry as we only have 14,239,999,999,999 shares remaining. Aunt Cloteil bought a dollars worth yesterday. One more sale and we will be able to declare a dividend! Look for it to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 to 12%!
The preferred stock price has held steady at .001 cent per share. Nobody has sprung for the more expensive stock as yet, puddinheads, all believing the investment carries too much risk.
Hey, I look at it this way, it can't be any worse than Global Crossing, Enron, General Motors, Chrysler, Lucent Technologies, or a US Treasury Note, or could it?
For a free Prospectus, contact Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, you can leave a comment under this blog, unless there is too much demand, then we will give our email address which is fdmaybolt@gmail.com, but do not shut gmail down with offers to buy.
We accept all common fiat currencies listed on the forex. We may need one of our international readers to help with procuring some of the goods and materials. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center and Stock Market
Cedar Grove, TN
"Our brokers are standing by!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
The way they saw it that cake was worth $3.25, making their cut 48 cents in 1966.
What the IRS did not know was that fruit cake has been making the rounds since 1965 as a gag gift, carefully stored in its original container and wrap and gifted to another family member each year.
I knew Aunt Cloteil Finkbinder had gotten it last year, so I retrieved it from her and mailed it in to the US Treasury with a copy of their letter, explaining the fruit cakes history and that I really did not accept the cake and had donated it to charity that year by gifting it to my older sister. Therefore, since I did not claim my $3.25 deduction that year which I was entitled to under the law, I had over paid them by 48 cents and they actually owed me the $3,234.53 in interest and penalties I have accrued since my blunder as a 13 yr old whose only source of income that year was a 4-H bull I hand raised and fed out to 2,237 lbs named Homer.
Ned Barker bought Homer from me and turned him into hamburger. I am anxiously awaiting the answer from the Treasury. I bet they do not have many fruit cakes at the Treasury, if you exclude Treasury Secretary Geithner. I hope they did not think it was a suspicious package. I did not even think, post anthrax scare, they might not take it the way it was intended.
Anyway, I am not in jail yet, and I have not been hit by a swat team and tazed into submission. I have been working on a couple of ideas for clothing lines to protect our seniors from falls and hikers in the bear and lion country.
Bubble wrapped clothing which would protect grandma and pa in a fall and cushion the hips and shoulders, the sites most commonly fractured in falls, and spiked outer wear like that of a porcupine for active hikers along with a spiked helmet, light and breazy like a bike helmet but armored so as to cause a significant injury if bitten or struck by the fleshy part of a paw.
Just thoughts. I believe these ideas are brilliant and I hereby declare it my personal intellectual property on July 26, 2011 at 0645cdst!
I dub the line of bubble wrapped protective outer wear as BubbaWrap (R) as it will be made here in the South. And my line of spike lined outer wear and head gear, Billiebear-Spikewear-if-u-Dare (R).
Last intellectually copyrighted idea involves placing support tracks along the ceilings in our old peoples home from which bungee suspended vests on the tracks that grandma and pa wear which in case of falls the bungee slows and prevents gravity from winning and your loved one never smacks the floor. This I call Maybolt's Marvelous Mama Mover (R). Some cost will be incurred in installation, but much, much cheaper than a year in the nursing home, and the oldsters are oh so grateful not to be bed bound. A pulley and counter weight can be added to make them lighter on their feet, but this will require a doctor's order. Gravity vs bones is good for you except in cases of falls.
I have opened these fantastic original ideas to the ordinary investor, I have only 14.23 trillion shares of common stock and 10 trillion shares of preferred stock. The last quote on the Urban Poverty Law Center Stock Market has them priced at .0001 cent per share for the common stock up 1000% from yesterday's close of .00001. Better hurry as we only have 14,239,999,999,999 shares remaining. Aunt Cloteil bought a dollars worth yesterday. One more sale and we will be able to declare a dividend! Look for it to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 to 12%!
The preferred stock price has held steady at .001 cent per share. Nobody has sprung for the more expensive stock as yet, puddinheads, all believing the investment carries too much risk.
Hey, I look at it this way, it can't be any worse than Global Crossing, Enron, General Motors, Chrysler, Lucent Technologies, or a US Treasury Note, or could it?
For a free Prospectus, contact Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, you can leave a comment under this blog, unless there is too much demand, then we will give our email address which is fdmaybolt@gmail.com, but do not shut gmail down with offers to buy.
We accept all common fiat currencies listed on the forex. We may need one of our international readers to help with procuring some of the goods and materials. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center and Stock Market
Cedar Grove, TN
"Our brokers are standing by!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
Monday, March 14, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center On Japanese Earthquake
First, Susan and I want to express our heartfelt condolences to the people of Japan. No one can know what they are enduring unless they themselves have experienced it.
I had an uncle on my father's side who was kicked in the head by a mule when he was only a little fellow and they called him peanut cause when that mule kicked him in the head it rearranged his head so it looked like a peanut. His head was so swollen after that kick he had to wear two hats for a while.1 When the swelling went down and he did not die, his head, did I tell you already, it looked exactly like a perfect little two pod peanut, large in the front and the back and narrow in the center.
Uncle Peanut never was right in the head. He finished school, but was mostly passed along on social promotions to keep him in with his age group. The teachers back then knew it wernt no use to try to teach Peanut anything. He wassant any trouble at school, he would just sit and look at a snow scene in a glass ball and occasionally squeal with delight as he shook it up and watch the snow in the ball swirl around. Rarely spoke and never cursed.
His mother had a collection of the glass snow balls she got in Memphis when she was a little girl. Peanut loved them all and always brought one with him to school. He was able to master the toilet and kept himself clean and therefore was not a great bother as retards go and was pretty much the school mascot. He got to stand out with the cheerleaders and could direct the marching band, generally had the run of the school.
His daddy got him a job at a machine shop where they made parts for cars. He was handy making parts, but it had to be the same part day in and day out. He could only make one part.
His family took care of him and seen to it that his taxes was paid up, but when his old maid sister died, he was left on his own and he was unable to pay the bills and stopped paying his taxes.
He ignored all the letters he got in the mail from the IRS and finally they say a revenue agent came out to see Uncle Peanut and filed a lien on every thing he had. The day came for the moving trucks to take all of Peanut's possessions and he just sat on the front porch and gazed into one of his snow scene glass balls. The fellows from the IRS even took his porch swing so he moved over to the steps.
The next week his house was auctioned off by the IRS. The community banded together and all agreed not to bid but a few pennies on the house. When the bidding was over, the house had been bought by my cousin Ocie Pentecost for $1.48, and he thought that was too high. He paid the IRS man and then handed the deed back to my Uncle Peanut, and cousin Pentecost got a widow woman with three kids to move in with Uncle Peanut to care for him and keep his house clean.
He lived out his days going to work and paying his taxes and living his life gazing into that glass orb with the snow flakes and the winter scene. He died peacefully at age 67 and was buried with his favorite glass orb. It haddent snowed here in Cedar Grove for 20 yrs but that April day when Uncle Peanut was buried, it snowed hard for about 15 minutes as they lowered his coffin into the ground over at the New Liberty Church for Christ's Sake. Some at the service swear they heard his distinct squeal off in the distance as the snow was blowing around the cemetery,
but it was probably just in their imaginations. People like a good story.
Anyway, the Japanese people have been kicked in the head by a mule, and it looks like they will survive, just as Uncle Peanut. The human spirit is greatly underestimated. Godspeed to the Japanese, they are on a difficult path. We at the Urban Poverty Law Center wish them well.
We can house a few refugees if more space is needed, we took in about 200 of New Orleans' residents when Katrina came roaring through. Our doors are always open.
Jack Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Anyway, the Japanese people have been kicked in the head by a mule, and it looks like they will survive, just as Uncle Peanut. The human spirit is greatly underestimated. Godspeed to the Japanese, they are on a difficult path. We at the Urban Poverty Law Center wish them well.
We can house a few refugees if more space is needed, we took in about 200 of New Orleans' residents when Katrina came roaring through. Our doors are always open.
Jack Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Pearl Harbor? Well, everybody is entitled to one mistake. How do you think this president got elected?" Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
1. Mark Twain Autobiography
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