Friends,
We are still reeling from our loss here in Cedar Grove of the Metro Bingo Parlor/Food Bank!
I know the world keeps on spinning and we need to get past this little set back and continue to make good policy for our poor urban brothers and sisters. It is with this motivation that I have decided to invite ousted President Manuel Zelaya to leave his Honduran hide-out at the Brazilian Embassy and join us at the UPLC here in Cedar Grove.
I have decided we need to reach out to our brown brothers to the south and for this reason I have invited President Zelaya to become the first fellow of the New Urban Poverty Law Center.
It is a position of high honor. I look forward to having President Zelaya as a colleague. I hope to pay him a stipend when we get on our feet financially.
I have been following the Tiger Woods soap opera. As I said before, he is a man, and so far all of the women who have come forward have been of age and beautiful, and as Mother said, "what's in a couple of minutes of bumping uglies. Where do you think you came from? Under a rock?"
What I am trying to say is what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And if love is not possible, blisteringly hot megastar affairs is a good start. Hell, Tiger and Elin, and et c., et c., et c., Mother always said, "You know, you can't wear out something that makes its own grease! But that does not keep us from trying, and God knows we all tried when we were young."
Sorry, I got off point. We are going to be writing to President Obama for some money for the Urban Poverty Law Center. We need to take it to the next level. The only thing we need to do this is more money. I will be appearing on radio and TV and will need a make-over and some new clothes. My leisure suit, polyester of course, in green plaid is a bit snug and looks funny with my right leg missing and all. So you see where I am coming from. I do not want to spend all my settlement money on this cause, but I will if we cannot get charitable contributions from the givernment, shit did I just misspell government. Well givernment or government either will do, you all know what I meant.
I have been studying the climate change crisis and hope to come out with a policy statement for the Urban Poverty Law Center this week to coincide with the Copenhagen Climactic Confab, which is being held in Copenhagen, Denmark. Did you ever notice the breasts on the little mermaid statue in Copenhagen harbor? They are really nice and firm. Only suggestion for the Danes, that is what they call people from Denmark, would be to paint her upper half in flesh tones, that would be really nice!
Jack D. Maybolt, PhD
President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Life is too short not to do who ever you can." Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008
Showing posts with label Tiger Woods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiger Woods. Show all posts
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
UPLC taking it to poverty where it hurts
Friends,
Keep your eye on the ball. Sure Tiger Woods is just a man who can play golf better than anybody else on the planet, but he is still just a man. We all have our merkin drawers. I try not to be too critical of my fellow man. Tiger has a poverty of his soul. A man that has been blessed by the Good Lord with so much talent in one area is not automatically exempt from temptation. I often wonder if there is anything better than a beautiful woman who will share her womanly charms with you. I was not always a eunuch. I had many rides in the saddle so to speak before the John Deere Company saw to it that I would never be able to pleasure a woman again. Bobby Albert said that if God created anything better than a vagina, he kept it up in heaven. I bet ol Tiger wishes He hadn't seen to it over half the world's population had one
and 99% are willing to pull it out and use it on a poor unsuspecting fellow!
I have been following the presidential election of our neighbor to the south, Honduras, and even
though the Urban Poverty Law Center was unable to send a delegate to observe the voting for any irregularities, I have surfed the net and find no problem with the election as far as voting is concerned. So with the powers vested in me, Jack Delano Maybolt, PhD, and president of the UPLC, I do solemnly swear to the best of my knowledge, the presidential results of the Honduran election to be valid and the new president , a what's his se ya ma, can be sworn-in by the proper authority. After the next coup, we hope to have enough money to be able to attend the election in person. First we need to get that Dozer money razed for our war on Urban Poverty in Detroit!
More blogging later. Where is that muse? I think I will ask Tiger to donate his wrecked Cadillac
to the Urban Poverty Law Center and we could tow it around to the county fairs and charge admission to let folks see what his wife can do with a nine iron.
"Pain is like money; neither is fully appreciated until it is yours!" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008.
Keep your eye on the ball. Sure Tiger Woods is just a man who can play golf better than anybody else on the planet, but he is still just a man. We all have our merkin drawers. I try not to be too critical of my fellow man. Tiger has a poverty of his soul. A man that has been blessed by the Good Lord with so much talent in one area is not automatically exempt from temptation. I often wonder if there is anything better than a beautiful woman who will share her womanly charms with you. I was not always a eunuch. I had many rides in the saddle so to speak before the John Deere Company saw to it that I would never be able to pleasure a woman again. Bobby Albert said that if God created anything better than a vagina, he kept it up in heaven. I bet ol Tiger wishes He hadn't seen to it over half the world's population had one
and 99% are willing to pull it out and use it on a poor unsuspecting fellow!
I have been following the presidential election of our neighbor to the south, Honduras, and even
though the Urban Poverty Law Center was unable to send a delegate to observe the voting for any irregularities, I have surfed the net and find no problem with the election as far as voting is concerned. So with the powers vested in me, Jack Delano Maybolt, PhD, and president of the UPLC, I do solemnly swear to the best of my knowledge, the presidential results of the Honduran election to be valid and the new president , a what's his se ya ma, can be sworn-in by the proper authority. After the next coup, we hope to have enough money to be able to attend the election in person. First we need to get that Dozer money razed for our war on Urban Poverty in Detroit!
More blogging later. Where is that muse? I think I will ask Tiger to donate his wrecked Cadillac
to the Urban Poverty Law Center and we could tow it around to the county fairs and charge admission to let folks see what his wife can do with a nine iron.
"Pain is like money; neither is fully appreciated until it is yours!" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008.
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