I was horrified to read on Drudge about the "Beverly Hillbillies" like situation at Prospect Park in New York where some park attendees have been seen catching turtles, squirrels, fish, ducks, and cats, and cooking them right there in the park over an open fire pit. Now those with weak hearts and prone to spells of vomiting should read no further. I will give you a few moments to determine if you should continue, grab a bucket just in case.
They have been seen eating these delectable morsels without white wine or even silverware. They use their hands and wipe the grease off on their shirts when they are sated, belch loudly and some have been seen relieving themselves in the forested areas of the pristine park.
Park police have given the vagrant band of tribal hunters and gathers warning tickets totaling some $2,100. The putative leader of the band, who goes by his Prospect Park name, Org, short for "Organic", explained to Nita Tottenburg, of NPR, that they were a group of laid off NASA aerospace engineers, who lost everything when the Obama administration decided the Space Program, like tanning, was criminally underrepresented by people of color, and therefore must be taxed or downsized to even the playing field and make life fair.
"We are here visiting and getting our job applications out there. Our unemployment benefits of $232 a week do not go far in New York, so we got back in sync with nature. We learned everything about trapping and fishing by watching the Nat Geo channel's series on the Indians of South America."
When Nina asked Org why the group did not dumpster dive or go to one of the cities many homeless shelters or soup kitchens like the rest of the homeless population, Org said: "Ms. Nina, we are not mentally ill and are fully capable of caring for ourselves if we are left alone in nature with only a few tools and God's creations. We conserve, if we see the squirrel population is falling in the park, they get harder to find and we eat pigeons for a while. The fish get harder to catch if their numbers decline, and we will prey on ducks, If the declining duck numbers become a problem, we capture feral cats. We are not stupid!, We were planning to move over to Central Park next week anyway when we got these fines for being human."
Org went on to comment: "Nina, our group used to be on average, 47 lbs over weight. With our new hunters and gatherers diet we have lost to below our ideal body weight!" I used to take medication for high blood pressure and diabetes and with the weight loss I no longer have to take any medications. High fructose corn syrup is killing our population. We need to get back on sugarcane sugar which is better for you. Remember how good a coca-cola tasted in the 50's when it was made with sugar?"
Finally Nina asked Org if they had any job prospects on the horizon? Org replied, "Yes, Nina. We have been in contact with the Iranians who hope to be able to deliver a devastating nuclear payload from space to anywhere on the globe. We hate to go over like this, but our skills are no longer valuable here at home. And the fine people of New York are unable to standby idle as we hunt and gather and feed ourselves, so we will have to act in our own best interests in this situation. Besides if we don't do it the Chinese will even if it is via their proxy, the North Koreans."
Nina followed up with: "What would it take to keep you here on our side?"
"We had a tribal meeting on this very question last week when we were threatened by fines and jail. We agree we need to negotiate with the US government for full tribal recognition and need a few thousand acres on which to establish our reservation. The land needs to be near a large population center so as not to hamstring any future casino prospects and we need about one million dollars each to get started. These are our demands, otherwise we are going to keep feeding ourselves or help the Iranians, who, by the way, do not discriminate against white rocket scientists, dominate space. We have some fresh turtle ready to eat, Nina. Would you like to try some? It tastes just like chicken."
My God! This is why I founded the Urban Poverty Law Center back in 1988. I knew this day was coming.
Send your contributions to our organization so no more delicious animals might die to feed the hungry. Hunger will drive human beings to do some pretty desperate and despicable deeds. We will use the funds to challenge congress to answer why health care is a right and food is a commodity. Is that not like putting the carriage before the horse or the engine in the back of the car. Come on Mr. Ferdinand Porsche, you know what I am talking about.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Discrimination and set asides makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Self Pitying Babble Lines, Rules of Life
Somebody needs to emphasize life's immutable truths to our newest younger generation. I will be 58 on my next birthday, a few days from now. Nine more years in which to live if the telomeres last on my cells.
Telomeres are small genetic fuses that determine how long a organism will reproduce fresh cells to keep the larger body going.
They are cleaved off as time flies by and once they are gone, you are doomed. My people last to 67 years on average, then they tend to wilt and make Helen Thomas look good, then we die.
Death is not the enemy, as I see it, it is the goal post. It is a reasonable finish line. Recalling the game of hide-n-seek, death is lurking in the shadows. Ready or not, here I come! My people have been blessed by quick deaths. My paternal grandfather fell over at work with a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm as a 67 yr old chain smoker of camel cigarettes when you could still buy them unfiltered. He was a product of the depression born in 1900, wanted to be a physician, but became a pharmacist to get out of college sooner and work to help out with his 5 younger siblings. He met and married my grandmother in 1926 and my father was born and given to her mother for the first 5 years of his life until their financial situation became more settled. His wife lived another 30 years. She is the only outlier. A longer telomere in other words.
My maternal grandfather, died in an automobile accident when he was 58. His people often made it to their 80's in relatively good health. His wife lasted another 13 yrs and checked out at age 71 after a large cerebral hemorrhage. Mother died in a tragic fire here in Cedar Grove and she was about 70. Father as you can read about in this work died when his heart was pierced by a carnival prop when he was 67. Anyway I am approaching ever nearer that dark line of no return with my next birthday.
I am not afraid of death, but do worry about its sting. For now my struggle goes on and I will try to lighten this up in case you are still reading.
Our crops here in West Tennessee have gotten another good rain and this may be the best growing season we have experienced here in the last 20 years. My corn crop is pollinating now and the rain really helps them along. I have stalks 12 ft tall in the bottom with 3 ft long ears. The cotton is blooming now and it has already had enough heat to make a good crop. My beans have been watered right along as well and are lush and healthy. Now if we can just get it out of the field this fall and the market holds, we will be able to help Obama, Boehner, and Reid lower the debt and carry the burdensome federal juggernaut for a fraction of a fraction of a millisecond!
This years crop and the weather has been a bright spot in my life, which aside from my high school football career, where I peaked too soon, has been a series of set backs and disappointments, with a sprinkling of melancholia and and a dash of dread thrown in for good measure, but hey, tomorrow, tomorrow is another day!
Where there is life, there is hope.
I hope your telomeres are long and your life is good. Even with all my problems I have enjoyed this journey in and out of hopelessness and despair, through the valley of fear and loathing, into sunny days and rainy nights, I plod on. Praying I will not sin today and I may help another in the quest for happiness.
Did I mention that I have a cotton picker? I am feeling better already. It is a model 9930, made by John Deere. Beautiful!
What does this newer generation need to know from me? Nothing, just live life and be fair to others, don't cheat, work hard, love your neighbor, not his goat, don't whistle past the graveyard, never put off today what can be done tomorrow, there is no such thing as a free lunch, a happy woman is worth it, have many children for they are our reason for being here. Pass some love onto the next generation. Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is not all about you, it is about us. Sleep, though necessary is overrated.
And finally, I did not make the rules, but I have to play the game just like you. And what a game it is. Be charitable. Money and property given to others comes back 10 fold. Keep it moving.
Game on!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"A song sung is worth three hummed." Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
Telomeres are small genetic fuses that determine how long a organism will reproduce fresh cells to keep the larger body going.
They are cleaved off as time flies by and once they are gone, you are doomed. My people last to 67 years on average, then they tend to wilt and make Helen Thomas look good, then we die.
Death is not the enemy, as I see it, it is the goal post. It is a reasonable finish line. Recalling the game of hide-n-seek, death is lurking in the shadows. Ready or not, here I come! My people have been blessed by quick deaths. My paternal grandfather fell over at work with a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm as a 67 yr old chain smoker of camel cigarettes when you could still buy them unfiltered. He was a product of the depression born in 1900, wanted to be a physician, but became a pharmacist to get out of college sooner and work to help out with his 5 younger siblings. He met and married my grandmother in 1926 and my father was born and given to her mother for the first 5 years of his life until their financial situation became more settled. His wife lived another 30 years. She is the only outlier. A longer telomere in other words.
My maternal grandfather, died in an automobile accident when he was 58. His people often made it to their 80's in relatively good health. His wife lasted another 13 yrs and checked out at age 71 after a large cerebral hemorrhage. Mother died in a tragic fire here in Cedar Grove and she was about 70. Father as you can read about in this work died when his heart was pierced by a carnival prop when he was 67. Anyway I am approaching ever nearer that dark line of no return with my next birthday.
I am not afraid of death, but do worry about its sting. For now my struggle goes on and I will try to lighten this up in case you are still reading.
Our crops here in West Tennessee have gotten another good rain and this may be the best growing season we have experienced here in the last 20 years. My corn crop is pollinating now and the rain really helps them along. I have stalks 12 ft tall in the bottom with 3 ft long ears. The cotton is blooming now and it has already had enough heat to make a good crop. My beans have been watered right along as well and are lush and healthy. Now if we can just get it out of the field this fall and the market holds, we will be able to help Obama, Boehner, and Reid lower the debt and carry the burdensome federal juggernaut for a fraction of a fraction of a millisecond!
This years crop and the weather has been a bright spot in my life, which aside from my high school football career, where I peaked too soon, has been a series of set backs and disappointments, with a sprinkling of melancholia and and a dash of dread thrown in for good measure, but hey, tomorrow, tomorrow is another day!
Where there is life, there is hope.
I hope your telomeres are long and your life is good. Even with all my problems I have enjoyed this journey in and out of hopelessness and despair, through the valley of fear and loathing, into sunny days and rainy nights, I plod on. Praying I will not sin today and I may help another in the quest for happiness.
Did I mention that I have a cotton picker? I am feeling better already. It is a model 9930, made by John Deere. Beautiful!
What does this newer generation need to know from me? Nothing, just live life and be fair to others, don't cheat, work hard, love your neighbor, not his goat, don't whistle past the graveyard, never put off today what can be done tomorrow, there is no such thing as a free lunch, a happy woman is worth it, have many children for they are our reason for being here. Pass some love onto the next generation. Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is not all about you, it is about us. Sleep, though necessary is overrated.
And finally, I did not make the rules, but I have to play the game just like you. And what a game it is. Be charitable. Money and property given to others comes back 10 fold. Keep it moving.
Game on!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"A song sung is worth three hummed." Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Could Dennis Miller have Called the President BroncObama On O'Reilly Last Night?
I was half asleep listening to Bill O'Reilly's only draw for me, "Miller Time", when I swear I heard Mr. Miller refer to the president as BroncObama. That imagery for our slender Marxist Crusader is a no go for me. I think Mr. Obama is nothing like the western hero conjured in that name Dennis accidentally gave him.
A cowboy is brave, cunning, honest, forthright, a hard worker, won't back away from a fight, takes good care of his horse, carries a gun, is kind to women and children, never ever borrows money he does not intend to repay. A cowboy is humble and believes in God. A cowboy believes in working for what you have. A cowboy believes in low taxes and freedom. A cowboy never smokes marijuana or snorts cocaine.
Excuse me, Mr. Miller, I know cowboys, Ronald Reagan was a cowboy, but your President Barack Hussein Obama is no cowboy!
I can finish my sleep now that I have gotten that off my chest.
I am, Jackson Delano Maybolt, President The Urban Poverty Law Center(where law and poverty know their places and where we make the difference one poor soul at a time!)
A cowboy is brave, cunning, honest, forthright, a hard worker, won't back away from a fight, takes good care of his horse, carries a gun, is kind to women and children, never ever borrows money he does not intend to repay. A cowboy is humble and believes in God. A cowboy believes in working for what you have. A cowboy believes in low taxes and freedom. A cowboy never smokes marijuana or snorts cocaine.
Excuse me, Mr. Miller, I know cowboys, Ronald Reagan was a cowboy, but your President Barack Hussein Obama is no cowboy!
I can finish my sleep now that I have gotten that off my chest.
I am, Jackson Delano Maybolt, President The Urban Poverty Law Center(where law and poverty know their places and where we make the difference one poor soul at a time!)
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Opens Stock Market In Cedar Grove
Aside from winning life's lottery, blessed with the best parents and grandparents imaginable, I have not won to many items in my lifetime. When I was in the 7th grade, I did win a fruit cake at a raffle, but I did not eat it. Do you know anybody who has ever eaten a piece of fruit cake and lived to tell about it? I wrote about my win back in 1965 on a previous blog and shortly there after was contacted by the Internal Revenue Service to inform me I owed them approximately $3,234.53 in back taxes with interest and penalties for their share of the cake!
The way they saw it that cake was worth $3.25, making their cut 48 cents in 1966.
What the IRS did not know was that fruit cake has been making the rounds since 1965 as a gag gift, carefully stored in its original container and wrap and gifted to another family member each year.
I knew Aunt Cloteil Finkbinder had gotten it last year, so I retrieved it from her and mailed it in to the US Treasury with a copy of their letter, explaining the fruit cakes history and that I really did not accept the cake and had donated it to charity that year by gifting it to my older sister. Therefore, since I did not claim my $3.25 deduction that year which I was entitled to under the law, I had over paid them by 48 cents and they actually owed me the $3,234.53 in interest and penalties I have accrued since my blunder as a 13 yr old whose only source of income that year was a 4-H bull I hand raised and fed out to 2,237 lbs named Homer.
Ned Barker bought Homer from me and turned him into hamburger. I am anxiously awaiting the answer from the Treasury. I bet they do not have many fruit cakes at the Treasury, if you exclude Treasury Secretary Geithner. I hope they did not think it was a suspicious package. I did not even think, post anthrax scare, they might not take it the way it was intended.
Anyway, I am not in jail yet, and I have not been hit by a swat team and tazed into submission. I have been working on a couple of ideas for clothing lines to protect our seniors from falls and hikers in the bear and lion country.
Bubble wrapped clothing which would protect grandma and pa in a fall and cushion the hips and shoulders, the sites most commonly fractured in falls, and spiked outer wear like that of a porcupine for active hikers along with a spiked helmet, light and breazy like a bike helmet but armored so as to cause a significant injury if bitten or struck by the fleshy part of a paw.
Just thoughts. I believe these ideas are brilliant and I hereby declare it my personal intellectual property on July 26, 2011 at 0645cdst!
I dub the line of bubble wrapped protective outer wear as BubbaWrap (R) as it will be made here in the South. And my line of spike lined outer wear and head gear, Billiebear-Spikewear-if-u-Dare (R).
Last intellectually copyrighted idea involves placing support tracks along the ceilings in our old peoples home from which bungee suspended vests on the tracks that grandma and pa wear which in case of falls the bungee slows and prevents gravity from winning and your loved one never smacks the floor. This I call Maybolt's Marvelous Mama Mover (R). Some cost will be incurred in installation, but much, much cheaper than a year in the nursing home, and the oldsters are oh so grateful not to be bed bound. A pulley and counter weight can be added to make them lighter on their feet, but this will require a doctor's order. Gravity vs bones is good for you except in cases of falls.
I have opened these fantastic original ideas to the ordinary investor, I have only 14.23 trillion shares of common stock and 10 trillion shares of preferred stock. The last quote on the Urban Poverty Law Center Stock Market has them priced at .0001 cent per share for the common stock up 1000% from yesterday's close of .00001. Better hurry as we only have 14,239,999,999,999 shares remaining. Aunt Cloteil bought a dollars worth yesterday. One more sale and we will be able to declare a dividend! Look for it to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 to 12%!
The preferred stock price has held steady at .001 cent per share. Nobody has sprung for the more expensive stock as yet, puddinheads, all believing the investment carries too much risk.
Hey, I look at it this way, it can't be any worse than Global Crossing, Enron, General Motors, Chrysler, Lucent Technologies, or a US Treasury Note, or could it?
For a free Prospectus, contact Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, you can leave a comment under this blog, unless there is too much demand, then we will give our email address which is fdmaybolt@gmail.com, but do not shut gmail down with offers to buy.
We accept all common fiat currencies listed on the forex. We may need one of our international readers to help with procuring some of the goods and materials. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center and Stock Market
Cedar Grove, TN
"Our brokers are standing by!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
The way they saw it that cake was worth $3.25, making their cut 48 cents in 1966.
What the IRS did not know was that fruit cake has been making the rounds since 1965 as a gag gift, carefully stored in its original container and wrap and gifted to another family member each year.
I knew Aunt Cloteil Finkbinder had gotten it last year, so I retrieved it from her and mailed it in to the US Treasury with a copy of their letter, explaining the fruit cakes history and that I really did not accept the cake and had donated it to charity that year by gifting it to my older sister. Therefore, since I did not claim my $3.25 deduction that year which I was entitled to under the law, I had over paid them by 48 cents and they actually owed me the $3,234.53 in interest and penalties I have accrued since my blunder as a 13 yr old whose only source of income that year was a 4-H bull I hand raised and fed out to 2,237 lbs named Homer.
Ned Barker bought Homer from me and turned him into hamburger. I am anxiously awaiting the answer from the Treasury. I bet they do not have many fruit cakes at the Treasury, if you exclude Treasury Secretary Geithner. I hope they did not think it was a suspicious package. I did not even think, post anthrax scare, they might not take it the way it was intended.
Anyway, I am not in jail yet, and I have not been hit by a swat team and tazed into submission. I have been working on a couple of ideas for clothing lines to protect our seniors from falls and hikers in the bear and lion country.
Bubble wrapped clothing which would protect grandma and pa in a fall and cushion the hips and shoulders, the sites most commonly fractured in falls, and spiked outer wear like that of a porcupine for active hikers along with a spiked helmet, light and breazy like a bike helmet but armored so as to cause a significant injury if bitten or struck by the fleshy part of a paw.
Just thoughts. I believe these ideas are brilliant and I hereby declare it my personal intellectual property on July 26, 2011 at 0645cdst!
I dub the line of bubble wrapped protective outer wear as BubbaWrap (R) as it will be made here in the South. And my line of spike lined outer wear and head gear, Billiebear-Spikewear-if-u-Dare (R).
Last intellectually copyrighted idea involves placing support tracks along the ceilings in our old peoples home from which bungee suspended vests on the tracks that grandma and pa wear which in case of falls the bungee slows and prevents gravity from winning and your loved one never smacks the floor. This I call Maybolt's Marvelous Mama Mover (R). Some cost will be incurred in installation, but much, much cheaper than a year in the nursing home, and the oldsters are oh so grateful not to be bed bound. A pulley and counter weight can be added to make them lighter on their feet, but this will require a doctor's order. Gravity vs bones is good for you except in cases of falls.
I have opened these fantastic original ideas to the ordinary investor, I have only 14.23 trillion shares of common stock and 10 trillion shares of preferred stock. The last quote on the Urban Poverty Law Center Stock Market has them priced at .0001 cent per share for the common stock up 1000% from yesterday's close of .00001. Better hurry as we only have 14,239,999,999,999 shares remaining. Aunt Cloteil bought a dollars worth yesterday. One more sale and we will be able to declare a dividend! Look for it to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 to 12%!
The preferred stock price has held steady at .001 cent per share. Nobody has sprung for the more expensive stock as yet, puddinheads, all believing the investment carries too much risk.
Hey, I look at it this way, it can't be any worse than Global Crossing, Enron, General Motors, Chrysler, Lucent Technologies, or a US Treasury Note, or could it?
For a free Prospectus, contact Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, you can leave a comment under this blog, unless there is too much demand, then we will give our email address which is fdmaybolt@gmail.com, but do not shut gmail down with offers to buy.
We accept all common fiat currencies listed on the forex. We may need one of our international readers to help with procuring some of the goods and materials. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center and Stock Market
Cedar Grove, TN
"Our brokers are standing by!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Brroke Hussein Obama's Bad Budget Boehner Talks Stalled
Brroke Hussein Obama, m m m.
Never have so few refused to give so much to so many for so little. Did Sir Winston Churchill say something like that during WWII? Well it is our blood and sweat, and President Obama's tears, crocodile tears, crying to the public in every presser that the republicans who represent taxpaying Americans are in no mood to throw more money down an ever expanding rat hole, no pun intended.
Boehner walks out on Brroke Hussein Oboro and accuses the president of not being serious about budget cuts. Really! If the spending bills all originate in the House of Representatives, then I believe the gang of 70 tea party republicans hold all the cards. The show can not go on without them. Sun Tze, in "The Art of War" said it best, "sometime best thing to do is to do nothing."
Boehner and his republicans have called Brroke Insane Oboro's bluff, you know the one over looking America's sea of financial ruin, and rather than enable the wholesale destruction of America will instead wait him out. He holds no cards. We tried it his way the first two years with his cheering chorus of delusional Democrats who controlled both houses of congress as they ran unchecked over the average American taxpayer, who cried, no screamed "Uncle Sam, back away from my purse and freedom!"
The Magnificent Seventy, like the cowboy film of the early sixties, with Yule Brenner, Steve McQueen and other big shots, are rounding up the bad guys and going to take back the country from the socialist, wealth redistributionist muckrakers who sailed in to positions of power disguised as ordinary US citizens, lead by a talented vocalist/reader of fine speeches, Baritone Hussein Obama.
Americans, be hopeful. The Calvary is here. We will weather this and need to accept cuts of no less than to the pre 2008 levels of expenditure which were good enough for George Bush and a Nancy Pelosi/Harry Reid controlled house and senate.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Never have so few refused to give so much to so many for so little. Did Sir Winston Churchill say something like that during WWII? Well it is our blood and sweat, and President Obama's tears, crocodile tears, crying to the public in every presser that the republicans who represent taxpaying Americans are in no mood to throw more money down an ever expanding rat hole, no pun intended.
Boehner walks out on Brroke Hussein Oboro and accuses the president of not being serious about budget cuts. Really! If the spending bills all originate in the House of Representatives, then I believe the gang of 70 tea party republicans hold all the cards. The show can not go on without them. Sun Tze, in "The Art of War" said it best, "sometime best thing to do is to do nothing."
Boehner and his republicans have called Brroke Insane Oboro's bluff, you know the one over looking America's sea of financial ruin, and rather than enable the wholesale destruction of America will instead wait him out. He holds no cards. We tried it his way the first two years with his cheering chorus of delusional Democrats who controlled both houses of congress as they ran unchecked over the average American taxpayer, who cried, no screamed "Uncle Sam, back away from my purse and freedom!"
The Magnificent Seventy, like the cowboy film of the early sixties, with Yule Brenner, Steve McQueen and other big shots, are rounding up the bad guys and going to take back the country from the socialist, wealth redistributionist muckrakers who sailed in to positions of power disguised as ordinary US citizens, lead by a talented vocalist/reader of fine speeches, Baritone Hussein Obama.
Americans, be hopeful. The Calvary is here. We will weather this and need to accept cuts of no less than to the pre 2008 levels of expenditure which were good enough for George Bush and a Nancy Pelosi/Harry Reid controlled house and senate.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Friday, July 22, 2011
How Sarah Palin Will Win in 2012, Urban Poverty Law Center
The race to replace Barack Hussein Obama is several months along now, and the talk of Sarah Palin's candidacy is abundant. As the President of the very prestigious Urban Poverty Law Center in Cedar Grove, Tennessee, I have some unique insights into politics and have some advice for Ms. Palin.
First, let me say I am a great supporter of Sarah Palin. I like her look and her mind, and I like her way of doing things. Somehow a ninny from Wasilla, Alaska
manages to out Fox all the brilliant minds in the media with her shenanigans. The tour of American Historic sights was brilliant. The book, and now the movie all brilliant. Now for the meat of this coconut:
Sarah Palin will be the first woman president of the United States of America and she will win not as a republican candidate, but as an independent. The reasons she can run and win as an independent are many fold.
Already she has been vetted by the despicable press and the Palin supporters are not swayed by media's dislike for her. In fact many Americans pull for and like the candidates most hated by a press that is usually supporting the wrong candidate for the American taxpayer.
Sarah Palin does not need to be a target in a long drawn out primary season where the press will be taking daily pot shots at her and her family. An independent run works to her advantage in at least two significant ways. First her exposure to the snipes from the press is limited, and second, she only has to raise half as much money to campaign for the top spot and she can spend her primary season prepping for the Presidential debates with Obama and Mitt, and hopefully Ralph Nader, and targeting her adds to be critical of current policy or what ever debate topic comes up.
The way I see it Palin will garner 42 to 46% of the vote, leaving 54 to 58% of the vote to be split between Obama and who ever the media allows the republicans to choose. This means Obama must win 80 to 85% of that non Palin vote to win.
The most likely outcome would be Palin 44%, Obama 33%, and Romney 23%. How did I come up with these numbers? Palin gets the teaparty, church attending middle American vote, Obama keeps his hard core democrat vote, and Romney gets the hard core Republican in name only vote. The 44% for Palin includes a good many of the Reagan democrats as well. She will be elected by the great unwashed masses of middle Americans in the over-taxed/fly-over country! Run Sarah, run, but only as an Independent!
Palin could increase her winning margin by choosing a vice presidential candidate wislely, such as Marcus Rubio, or Herman Cain and thereby eek out a plurality of 50.0045%. Most of this siphones off Mitt, and not Obama, whose Acorn votes will not come close to making up the difference for him this time around.
There you have it. Jack Maybolt's formula for Sarah Palin's successful run for president as an independent. I am a political genius. I make Karl Rove seem like a piker, whatever that is.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD
"All politics is crap!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
First, let me say I am a great supporter of Sarah Palin. I like her look and her mind, and I like her way of doing things. Somehow a ninny from Wasilla, Alaska
manages to out Fox all the brilliant minds in the media with her shenanigans. The tour of American Historic sights was brilliant. The book, and now the movie all brilliant. Now for the meat of this coconut:
Sarah Palin will be the first woman president of the United States of America and she will win not as a republican candidate, but as an independent. The reasons she can run and win as an independent are many fold.
Already she has been vetted by the despicable press and the Palin supporters are not swayed by media's dislike for her. In fact many Americans pull for and like the candidates most hated by a press that is usually supporting the wrong candidate for the American taxpayer.
Sarah Palin does not need to be a target in a long drawn out primary season where the press will be taking daily pot shots at her and her family. An independent run works to her advantage in at least two significant ways. First her exposure to the snipes from the press is limited, and second, she only has to raise half as much money to campaign for the top spot and she can spend her primary season prepping for the Presidential debates with Obama and Mitt, and hopefully Ralph Nader, and targeting her adds to be critical of current policy or what ever debate topic comes up.
The way I see it Palin will garner 42 to 46% of the vote, leaving 54 to 58% of the vote to be split between Obama and who ever the media allows the republicans to choose. This means Obama must win 80 to 85% of that non Palin vote to win.
The most likely outcome would be Palin 44%, Obama 33%, and Romney 23%. How did I come up with these numbers? Palin gets the teaparty, church attending middle American vote, Obama keeps his hard core democrat vote, and Romney gets the hard core Republican in name only vote. The 44% for Palin includes a good many of the Reagan democrats as well. She will be elected by the great unwashed masses of middle Americans in the over-taxed/fly-over country! Run Sarah, run, but only as an Independent!
Palin could increase her winning margin by choosing a vice presidential candidate wislely, such as Marcus Rubio, or Herman Cain and thereby eek out a plurality of 50.0045%. Most of this siphones off Mitt, and not Obama, whose Acorn votes will not come close to making up the difference for him this time around.
There you have it. Jack Maybolt's formula for Sarah Palin's successful run for president as an independent. I am a political genius. I make Karl Rove seem like a piker, whatever that is.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD
"All politics is crap!" Mother Maybolt, 1929-2008
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Contact With Maiden On The "Steve Irwin"
I was alarmed when I received this Email from a comely maiden who reports she is held on the SS Steve Irwin Whale Wars ship against her will. I believe this may be a prank, but I include it here, with some redactions for civility to get your reaction to see if I should bump this up to a higher authority. Also, does anyone know who this poor girl may be?
20, July 2011
Jacque Mayboo
President, UPLC
Cedar Grove, Tn 38321
Dear Masseur Mayboo,
I am Michele Monet Rothchilldeberger, of de famous banking Rothchilldebergers. I am 22 years old next month and have been held captive on de SS Steve Irwin for over 6 months. I felt I could email you and you could make my plight known to de entire world so maybe some other young girl, full of hopes and dreams, does not follo en my footsteps only to have dem dashed on de unseen rocks of life's reef. My story on de Steve Irwin follows:
I answered an advertisement for Mates on de Steve Irwin placed on de Parisian Craigslist by Captain Paul. It promised adventure, in exchange for room and board, and light work on de ship. I fully understood de mission was to do battle with de Japanese whaling fleet and would naturally involve some danger and risk to body and soul, but what I have learned about dis operation would make your hair stand up.
I am subjected daily to taunts by de other mates. I cannot pass dem in de hallway without shouts of "Show me your teats!" And de male crew members are often more aggressive and practice de frottage in such a crude manner with deir hands, pretending dey did not notice deir hands on my breasts!
I am a tall woman, nearly 6ft 3 inches and Captain Paul takes every liberty with any swell, or rough water to plant his unctuous face deeply into my cleavage. Funny how his sea legs abandon ship when I am on de bridge. Always de gentleman, he inhales deeply from my cleavage before pulling back, with eyes rolling back like a bull dat has found a cow in full estrous, falls back to his space and touches himself. Den a few moments later he smokes a Salem, grabs the wheel and pretends to scan de horizon for Japanese Whaling vessels.
I have not left my cabin for three weeks. My skin is becoming transparent. After showering I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked by what I saw, two blue spots and a brown spot. I am getting rickets. We are not due into port for another two months and I think de helio pilot is a Mormon.
I will close dis letter for I have taken enough of your time, Masseur Mayboo. If I ever get out of dis floating prison I promise I will come to work closely under you at de Urban Poverty Law Center. De whales, dey do not appreciate anything we do for dem. But you work to rid human kind of poverty, dat is a real calling.
Yours truly,
Michele Rothchilldeberger
some where in icy waters off Argentina
Does anyone know this young lady?
Jaque Mayboo, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Whales are just dolphins on steroids." Mother Maybolt, 1924-2008
20, July 2011
Jacque Mayboo
President, UPLC
Cedar Grove, Tn 38321
Dear Masseur Mayboo,
I am Michele Monet Rothchilldeberger, of de famous banking Rothchilldebergers. I am 22 years old next month and have been held captive on de SS Steve Irwin for over 6 months. I felt I could email you and you could make my plight known to de entire world so maybe some other young girl, full of hopes and dreams, does not follo en my footsteps only to have dem dashed on de unseen rocks of life's reef. My story on de Steve Irwin follows:
I answered an advertisement for Mates on de Steve Irwin placed on de Parisian Craigslist by Captain Paul. It promised adventure, in exchange for room and board, and light work on de ship. I fully understood de mission was to do battle with de Japanese whaling fleet and would naturally involve some danger and risk to body and soul, but what I have learned about dis operation would make your hair stand up.
I am subjected daily to taunts by de other mates. I cannot pass dem in de hallway without shouts of "Show me your teats!" And de male crew members are often more aggressive and practice de frottage in such a crude manner with deir hands, pretending dey did not notice deir hands on my breasts!
I am a tall woman, nearly 6ft 3 inches and Captain Paul takes every liberty with any swell, or rough water to plant his unctuous face deeply into my cleavage. Funny how his sea legs abandon ship when I am on de bridge. Always de gentleman, he inhales deeply from my cleavage before pulling back, with eyes rolling back like a bull dat has found a cow in full estrous, falls back to his space and touches himself. Den a few moments later he smokes a Salem, grabs the wheel and pretends to scan de horizon for Japanese Whaling vessels.
I have not left my cabin for three weeks. My skin is becoming transparent. After showering I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked by what I saw, two blue spots and a brown spot. I am getting rickets. We are not due into port for another two months and I think de helio pilot is a Mormon.
I will close dis letter for I have taken enough of your time, Masseur Mayboo. If I ever get out of dis floating prison I promise I will come to work closely under you at de Urban Poverty Law Center. De whales, dey do not appreciate anything we do for dem. But you work to rid human kind of poverty, dat is a real calling.
Yours truly,
Michele Rothchilldeberger
some where in icy waters off Argentina
Does anyone know this young lady?
Jaque Mayboo, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Whales are just dolphins on steroids." Mother Maybolt, 1924-2008
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Helps A Man In Need, Meet Barry
A few of you who have read more than three of the over 100 offerings contained on this website, all of which are enlightening and some are entertaining, know that the objective of UPLC is to help end urban poverty one person at a time. I pulled back on my modest philanthropic work last year after the homeless chap I gave the $20 to was found dead in a park in Jackson, Tn. Seems he scored two dime bags of meth and shot both into his blood stream and the Madison County Coroner said his 55 yr old ticker exploded like JFK's head with that third shot from the grassy knoll. Horrible!
I wasn't even able to raise the $1500 C Batsell Bateman's Funeral Parlor and Flea Market over on Hwy 45 towards Medina required for a decent cremation. The poor fellow was cremated with the euthanized animals at the Madison County Inhumane Society. I was in a funk for over a year because of it and was not able to do my best on this site, but the curtain, no fog of despair is lifting and I am thinking I must get back on this horse and ride again.
A 51 yr old black man, I will call him "Barry" as that is the name his grandmother gave him when he was very young, approached me and asked for a job. He is illiterate and neither reads nor writes. He graduated from one of our famous southern high schools with honors where reading is an elective not a requirement for a diplomat. He told me of his hardships beginning with his infancy, when his stepfather was so cruel his grandmother took him in to raise him as she felt sure the stepfather would have killed Barry if she did not intervene.
He lived out in the country near a big time farmer, we will refer to as Dick, but Richard was his Christian name. He was a large white man who took a liking to Barry, everybody does who meets him, and gave him his first job at age 10. Barry-say
when he was in school during planting and harvest season, Dick would get him after school and he would drive a big John Deere tractor and break ground from 3p until 11p go home bathe, sleep for a few hours and back out on the tractor for another 4 hrs before school started. He did this for Dick until he was in his early 20's when he got a job operating heavy equipment, trackhoes, backhoes, dozers for a construction company. He bought an over the road truck when he was in his 30's and drove it until the energy prices, read cost of diesel, made driving a truck unprofitable.
Barry married his sweetheart from high school, "Liv" and they had two daughters. She works for the county where they live and they barely get by. Barry had a phone with the bottom of the barrel plan from Verizon, and they kept upping the cost to him saying he was texting and getting on the Internet and he finally quit Verizon, because as Liv said to me "Barry don't know how to read or write, how is a black man with this problem gonna text!"
The world is full of cheats! Shame on you Verizon Wireless!
Anyway, I need to raise some money so we can put some money down to buy Barry a dozer which he can use to eek out a living here in West Tennessee. He can use my father's old international dump truck with the flatbed trailer to haul it around and I can come up with some of mother's SSI check money to buy him some fuel, and we will place an add on Craigslist and hope for the best.
If you read this and are or consider yourself one of the "winners of life's lottery'
please consider sending a check to the "Help Barry, the poor black man, fund" c/o The Urban Poverty Law Center, Cedar Grove, TN.
If we raise enough money to get that dozer and anything happens to Barry because of it, I swear I will never try to help another person in need. That would be two and I do not think I could go through all that pain again.
Your donations are tax deductible as long as the IRS doesn't call you on it.
God has truly blessed me by sending Barry into my circle. I consider him my friend and I am enriched by his presence.
He told me one day "I wants to works for you, Dr. Mayboat." That is how he says my name. And he is very funny.
I am Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Loan a man a dozer and feed him for a day, give him a dozer and feed him for a lifetime." Mother Mayboat
I wasn't even able to raise the $1500 C Batsell Bateman's Funeral Parlor and Flea Market over on Hwy 45 towards Medina required for a decent cremation. The poor fellow was cremated with the euthanized animals at the Madison County Inhumane Society. I was in a funk for over a year because of it and was not able to do my best on this site, but the curtain, no fog of despair is lifting and I am thinking I must get back on this horse and ride again.
A 51 yr old black man, I will call him "Barry" as that is the name his grandmother gave him when he was very young, approached me and asked for a job. He is illiterate and neither reads nor writes. He graduated from one of our famous southern high schools with honors where reading is an elective not a requirement for a diplomat. He told me of his hardships beginning with his infancy, when his stepfather was so cruel his grandmother took him in to raise him as she felt sure the stepfather would have killed Barry if she did not intervene.
He lived out in the country near a big time farmer, we will refer to as Dick, but Richard was his Christian name. He was a large white man who took a liking to Barry, everybody does who meets him, and gave him his first job at age 10. Barry-say
when he was in school during planting and harvest season, Dick would get him after school and he would drive a big John Deere tractor and break ground from 3p until 11p go home bathe, sleep for a few hours and back out on the tractor for another 4 hrs before school started. He did this for Dick until he was in his early 20's when he got a job operating heavy equipment, trackhoes, backhoes, dozers for a construction company. He bought an over the road truck when he was in his 30's and drove it until the energy prices, read cost of diesel, made driving a truck unprofitable.
Barry married his sweetheart from high school, "Liv" and they had two daughters. She works for the county where they live and they barely get by. Barry had a phone with the bottom of the barrel plan from Verizon, and they kept upping the cost to him saying he was texting and getting on the Internet and he finally quit Verizon, because as Liv said to me "Barry don't know how to read or write, how is a black man with this problem gonna text!"
The world is full of cheats! Shame on you Verizon Wireless!
Anyway, I need to raise some money so we can put some money down to buy Barry a dozer which he can use to eek out a living here in West Tennessee. He can use my father's old international dump truck with the flatbed trailer to haul it around and I can come up with some of mother's SSI check money to buy him some fuel, and we will place an add on Craigslist and hope for the best.
If you read this and are or consider yourself one of the "winners of life's lottery'
please consider sending a check to the "Help Barry, the poor black man, fund" c/o The Urban Poverty Law Center, Cedar Grove, TN.
If we raise enough money to get that dozer and anything happens to Barry because of it, I swear I will never try to help another person in need. That would be two and I do not think I could go through all that pain again.
Your donations are tax deductible as long as the IRS doesn't call you on it.
God has truly blessed me by sending Barry into my circle. I consider him my friend and I am enriched by his presence.
He told me one day "I wants to works for you, Dr. Mayboat." That is how he says my name. And he is very funny.
I am Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Loan a man a dozer and feed him for a day, give him a dozer and feed him for a lifetime." Mother Mayboat
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center A Whale of A Proposition
Last evening after perusing my SI Swimsuits Issue, I flipped on the Tele to bore myself to sleep. Animal Planet, not my typical viewing fare, was on. The remote was several feet away on the dresser. I had removed my leg prosthesis and had settled very comfortably into my bed. I decided not to make the one legged leap to retrieve the remote, and to suffer what ever preposterous programing the communist at Animal Planet had to offer, believing sleep would soon rescue me from this attempted brain rape by the Animal Planet programmers.
"Whale Wars" what? Could it be the ocean's mammoths were at war and I did not even know it? This got my attention. As I watched, Captain Paul, who looks an awful lot like an older version of Cedar Grove's own, Mikey MacElroy, who left the area about 15 years ago, after some questions were raised about indecencies he took with a local troop of cub scouts, piloted the "Steve Irwin" all over the South Atlantic. It was in a futile attempt to find and rescue three lost Norwegian Sailors from the Research Vessel, "Berserk".
It was captivating to watch Captain Paul steer the SS Steve Irwin through the frigid waters, narrowly missing bobbing tractor truck sized ice chunks, called "growlers". Named that because of their similarity to hard stools, a common malady of the world's carnivores, hence the growl on passage.
The SS Irwin's all vegetarian crew only pass low volume and environmentally friendly "squitter squirts", a mushy brown liquid with the same consistency as 'figgy puddin', that mysterious desert made popular in that old Christian Christmas tune, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". It is collected into on board tanks and through some bacteriological chicanery it is converted into propane gas and powers the generators on the "Irwin".
The other crew members are interesting characters. Mostly young, privileged, trust fund monkeys, who, if not off battling windmills in the waters off Antarctica along side Captain Paul, would be inpatients on Step 4 of 12 at the Betty Ford Center In Palm Springs, California for what ever chemical dependency they had this year. Worthless as tits on a bore hog!
Anyway as I watched these dedicated animal lovers search in vain for the three lost "Berserk" crew members I could not help thinking a counter TV series to Whale Wars might get some play on the ESPN Nascar channel.
My inspiration is to raise several millions of dollars and commission a better and faster boat. I would call it the SS Dick Cheney, or the SS Rush Limbaugh. With it I would chase the SS Irwin around the oceans and interfere with their objectives. I would crew it with rednecks and capitalists. I would accept sponsorship from Nascar, the Japanese Whaling Industry, and the Dutch.
I believe the best name of this reality series might be: "The Whale War Wars". Don't get me wrong here. I do not hate whales. I just hate people who are intolerant of people who enjoy a good whale steak from time to time.
If God had not intended whales to be eaten, He would have made them taste more like antelope than cow.
I am Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"How long do you suppose it will be until some loony group forms PETAP, "People For the Ethical Treatment Of Animals And Plants? Then what would we eat, dirt?" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
"Whale Wars" what? Could it be the ocean's mammoths were at war and I did not even know it? This got my attention. As I watched, Captain Paul, who looks an awful lot like an older version of Cedar Grove's own, Mikey MacElroy, who left the area about 15 years ago, after some questions were raised about indecencies he took with a local troop of cub scouts, piloted the "Steve Irwin" all over the South Atlantic. It was in a futile attempt to find and rescue three lost Norwegian Sailors from the Research Vessel, "Berserk".
It was captivating to watch Captain Paul steer the SS Steve Irwin through the frigid waters, narrowly missing bobbing tractor truck sized ice chunks, called "growlers". Named that because of their similarity to hard stools, a common malady of the world's carnivores, hence the growl on passage.
The SS Irwin's all vegetarian crew only pass low volume and environmentally friendly "squitter squirts", a mushy brown liquid with the same consistency as 'figgy puddin', that mysterious desert made popular in that old Christian Christmas tune, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". It is collected into on board tanks and through some bacteriological chicanery it is converted into propane gas and powers the generators on the "Irwin".
The other crew members are interesting characters. Mostly young, privileged, trust fund monkeys, who, if not off battling windmills in the waters off Antarctica along side Captain Paul, would be inpatients on Step 4 of 12 at the Betty Ford Center In Palm Springs, California for what ever chemical dependency they had this year. Worthless as tits on a bore hog!
Anyway as I watched these dedicated animal lovers search in vain for the three lost "Berserk" crew members I could not help thinking a counter TV series to Whale Wars might get some play on the ESPN Nascar channel.
My inspiration is to raise several millions of dollars and commission a better and faster boat. I would call it the SS Dick Cheney, or the SS Rush Limbaugh. With it I would chase the SS Irwin around the oceans and interfere with their objectives. I would crew it with rednecks and capitalists. I would accept sponsorship from Nascar, the Japanese Whaling Industry, and the Dutch.
I believe the best name of this reality series might be: "The Whale War Wars". Don't get me wrong here. I do not hate whales. I just hate people who are intolerant of people who enjoy a good whale steak from time to time.
If God had not intended whales to be eaten, He would have made them taste more like antelope than cow.
I am Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"How long do you suppose it will be until some loony group forms PETAP, "People For the Ethical Treatment Of Animals And Plants? Then what would we eat, dirt?" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Pulls Curtain Back on Budget Talks
Hey, taxpayers, ever wonder what the fuss is all about in DC? Our best and brightest sociopaths who have managed to gain control of the purse strings of our colossal union of states, have been boiling this frog (read taxpayers) in tiny increments until now when they have to turn up the heat or risk losing it all.
The spending on TARP was touted as a one time only stop gap measure to save the US and World's economy, but now it has quietly been slipped into perpetuity in the budgets congress has been unwilling to publish or back for the past 2 years! Hence, the 1.5 trillion dollar deficits from here to dooms day, which according to the Mayan Calender is a week from next Tuesday, making all the fuss a mootity, to coin a term as in moot point. We are all going to DIE! I just pray my "Sports Illustrated, Swimsuits Edition" arrives in the mail today which should afford ample time to enjoy the articles before what ever Biblical calamity claims all of humanity and we are all sucked into that black hole in space and time.
Back to the current calamity in Politicalville, USA: posturing for the audience, it is all great theatre!
Obama scolding Eric Cantor, "do not call my bluff!"
Cantor shoots back from the hip, "your threat not to call your bluff is merely a bluff!"
I do not think they know how Webster's dictionary defines a bluff, a cliff or a deception?
One thing is for sure, we are on the bluff over looking the seas of financial ruin lead by a pack of egotistical former high school class officers whose plan is to game the American taxpayer into backing their burgeoning nonsensical spending habits.
Drama, high drama on the national stage: the democrats poised to raise taxes on those who still work and earn a living, the republicans holding the tax door shut with a firm foot on the floor as the hero to the greedy rich. The debt ceiling baby being tossed back and forth like a rag doll with its mother, Timmy Geithner, screaming in the background for relief! Money flying off the Federal Reserve Banks Printing Press faster than Madonna's panties drop at an NBA players reunion party. It is all great comic relief.
The debt ceiling will be raised to cover that stench coming from Washington, DC. I will not include any more Madonna similes here as she is in her fifties and without the steady flow of estrogen bathing those areas constantly, they tend to become stale and rank, but I said I would not take you there and believe you me, I won't. Do not think about that last sentence.
John Boehner with Eric Cantor will march out next week in front of the cameras and say they made the best deal they could given the circumstances, and the word compromise will be tossed around by both sides like a beach ball at a Rolling Stones Concert. Both sides will pretend to be unhappy with what just unfolded.
Meanwhile, the frog, feeling the heat, will leap from the pot and the Tea Party will fire many of these crooks, I meant cooks, in 2012. I invite your to review my informative post dated Feb 24, 2011 for a look at the federal budget and its waste products for the year 2010.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Washington is filled with Commie Bastards!" Mother Maybolt 1927-2008
The spending on TARP was touted as a one time only stop gap measure to save the US and World's economy, but now it has quietly been slipped into perpetuity in the budgets congress has been unwilling to publish or back for the past 2 years! Hence, the 1.5 trillion dollar deficits from here to dooms day, which according to the Mayan Calender is a week from next Tuesday, making all the fuss a mootity, to coin a term as in moot point. We are all going to DIE! I just pray my "Sports Illustrated, Swimsuits Edition" arrives in the mail today which should afford ample time to enjoy the articles before what ever Biblical calamity claims all of humanity and we are all sucked into that black hole in space and time.
Back to the current calamity in Politicalville, USA: posturing for the audience, it is all great theatre!
Obama scolding Eric Cantor, "do not call my bluff!"
Cantor shoots back from the hip, "your threat not to call your bluff is merely a bluff!"
I do not think they know how Webster's dictionary defines a bluff, a cliff or a deception?
One thing is for sure, we are on the bluff over looking the seas of financial ruin lead by a pack of egotistical former high school class officers whose plan is to game the American taxpayer into backing their burgeoning nonsensical spending habits.
Drama, high drama on the national stage: the democrats poised to raise taxes on those who still work and earn a living, the republicans holding the tax door shut with a firm foot on the floor as the hero to the greedy rich. The debt ceiling baby being tossed back and forth like a rag doll with its mother, Timmy Geithner, screaming in the background for relief! Money flying off the Federal Reserve Banks Printing Press faster than Madonna's panties drop at an NBA players reunion party. It is all great comic relief.
The debt ceiling will be raised to cover that stench coming from Washington, DC. I will not include any more Madonna similes here as she is in her fifties and without the steady flow of estrogen bathing those areas constantly, they tend to become stale and rank, but I said I would not take you there and believe you me, I won't. Do not think about that last sentence.
John Boehner with Eric Cantor will march out next week in front of the cameras and say they made the best deal they could given the circumstances, and the word compromise will be tossed around by both sides like a beach ball at a Rolling Stones Concert. Both sides will pretend to be unhappy with what just unfolded.
Meanwhile, the frog, feeling the heat, will leap from the pot and the Tea Party will fire many of these crooks, I meant cooks, in 2012. I invite your to review my informative post dated Feb 24, 2011 for a look at the federal budget and its waste products for the year 2010.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Washington is filled with Commie Bastards!" Mother Maybolt 1927-2008
Friday, July 15, 2011
Seeking Radicals: Urban Poverty Law Center's Intern Logs His Travels
My father watches Fox news and sometimes, when he means to use the word “amazing,” he accidentally says “Rush Limbaugh.”
“Those ‘taters were Rush Limbaugh, Puddin’ Lips!”
Perhaps this contributed to his disapproval of my plan to let Jack Mayboldt and the UPLC sponsor my travels abroad. My mission? To gain a global understanding of poverty and seek political and religious radicals along the way.
In Greece, I found the protesters in Athens to be too mild-mannered for my taste and Syntagma square smelled more of body odor than it did of political dissent. I promptly moved to the black sand beaches of Santorini and the ferry strikes stranded me there for long enough to wonder if those beaches ever felt oppressed by the beaches with white sand.
I knew if I wanted to find some unfriendlies, I had to make it to the middle of Turkey.
The bus steward on my way to Eğirdir had the lıkeness of a Baldwın Brother who was never ıntroduced to a toothbrush. He kept brıngıng me water or goodıes. As a rule, I never know what ıim beıng offered and I always accept. Everythıng has been fıne apart from one bag of crackers that tasted fıne but smelled of farts. Poısonous.
ı had the juıces from a fresh peach drıbblıng down my chın just as ı read ın my guıde book to avoıd the fresh fruıt. 11 hours on a bus wıth no bathroom nearly let me psych myself ınto amoebıc dysentery. ı kept catchıng whıffs of body odor, and gıven my state of dampness, ıt was no doubt comıng from me. ı trıed to use my bıcep to sneakıly scratch my ınhalıng nose, but the results were ınconclusıve Sensory adaptatıon can be a helluvan ally, but ı do not envy my neıghbor (who ı had been afectıonately thınkıng of as ^chınless^). ı had to raıse my left arm up to adjust the a/c. pıt-to-nose. ı pray that Allah was mercıful enough to bless chınless w a head-cold for hıs day of travel.
I was awoken by knees pressing into mine just in time to smell a baby near me shit itself. The leg hog was sitting with spread-eagle thighs, as ıf he was gettıng ready to slıde a thıgh master between them and sweat himself ınto a smaller pant sıze. perhaps he just found ball-on-thıgh contact to be dıspleasıng? no bother for me, for ı have dıscovered a technıque to combat these personal space ınvaders. Rather than cınchıng down my knees ınto ladysıt when they make theır move, I hold my ground at the mıdlıne so our shıns connect. occasıonally, thıs ıs enough, but ıf not, ı begın to slowly pump my leg up and down. Somethıng about the rhythmıc frıctıon between two men encourages them to retreat. ı fınd thıs creep-out technıque to be most effectıve ıf both partıes are wearıng shorts.
When I finally arrived, the call to prayer waıled on. aaaaeeeeeeeeeeoooaaahhhhhhlalalaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thought ıt remarkable that ın the tıme that passed between two calls to prayer, ın my heart, ı had commıtted at least 3 of the 7 deadly sıns. What a savage I am!
I made it to someplace, somewhere in Turkey and my mission is progressing nicely, perhaps another update will be in the making.
Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, Traveling Intern, The Urban Poverty Law Center
Cob has lost his mind, his mother kept 376 parokets in the house with one cat. J. Maybolt, President UPLC
“Those ‘taters were Rush Limbaugh, Puddin’ Lips!”
Perhaps this contributed to his disapproval of my plan to let Jack Mayboldt and the UPLC sponsor my travels abroad. My mission? To gain a global understanding of poverty and seek political and religious radicals along the way.
In Greece, I found the protesters in Athens to be too mild-mannered for my taste and Syntagma square smelled more of body odor than it did of political dissent. I promptly moved to the black sand beaches of Santorini and the ferry strikes stranded me there for long enough to wonder if those beaches ever felt oppressed by the beaches with white sand.
I knew if I wanted to find some unfriendlies, I had to make it to the middle of Turkey.
The bus steward on my way to Eğirdir had the lıkeness of a Baldwın Brother who was never ıntroduced to a toothbrush. He kept brıngıng me water or goodıes. As a rule, I never know what ıim beıng offered and I always accept. Everythıng has been fıne apart from one bag of crackers that tasted fıne but smelled of farts. Poısonous.
ı had the juıces from a fresh peach drıbblıng down my chın just as ı read ın my guıde book to avoıd the fresh fruıt. 11 hours on a bus wıth no bathroom nearly let me psych myself ınto amoebıc dysentery. ı kept catchıng whıffs of body odor, and gıven my state of dampness, ıt was no doubt comıng from me. ı trıed to use my bıcep to sneakıly scratch my ınhalıng nose, but the results were ınconclusıve Sensory adaptatıon can be a helluvan ally, but ı do not envy my neıghbor (who ı had been afectıonately thınkıng of as ^chınless^). ı had to raıse my left arm up to adjust the a/c. pıt-to-nose. ı pray that Allah was mercıful enough to bless chınless w a head-cold for hıs day of travel.
I was awoken by knees pressing into mine just in time to smell a baby near me shit itself. The leg hog was sitting with spread-eagle thighs, as ıf he was gettıng ready to slıde a thıgh master between them and sweat himself ınto a smaller pant sıze. perhaps he just found ball-on-thıgh contact to be dıspleasıng? no bother for me, for ı have dıscovered a technıque to combat these personal space ınvaders. Rather than cınchıng down my knees ınto ladysıt when they make theır move, I hold my ground at the mıdlıne so our shıns connect. occasıonally, thıs ıs enough, but ıf not, ı begın to slowly pump my leg up and down. Somethıng about the rhythmıc frıctıon between two men encourages them to retreat. ı fınd thıs creep-out technıque to be most effectıve ıf both partıes are wearıng shorts.
When I finally arrived, the call to prayer waıled on. aaaaeeeeeeeeeeoooaaahhhhhhlalalaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thought ıt remarkable that ın the tıme that passed between two calls to prayer, ın my heart, ı had commıtted at least 3 of the 7 deadly sıns. What a savage I am!
I made it to someplace, somewhere in Turkey and my mission is progressing nicely, perhaps another update will be in the making.
Jacob (Cob) Maybolt Finkbinder, Traveling Intern, The Urban Poverty Law Center
Cob has lost his mind, his mother kept 376 parokets in the house with one cat. J. Maybolt, President UPLC
Monday, July 11, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Cracks Obama Speak, Peas And Tank you
"Pull off the band aid. Eat our peas." Both badly fragmented statements at Barack Hussein Obama's presser today. Warm up the teleprompter, or telereader in Obama's case. Read our lines of peas?
Our experts at the Urban Poverty Law Center have been studying these two incongruous statements and believe they are code phrases and we will dissect them for those among us who are not as bright as those in the Urban Poverty Law Center, namely, Jackson Delano Maybolt, Jr.
First let us play around with the first statement. "Pull off the band aid". Pull implies force. Off implies not upon, so the second word could be code for on, band implies a group, like gays and the transgendered, and aid could imply gays and transgendered people with aids. Clearly, "pull off the band aid" becomes code for "Force on the gays with aids".
Imagine the uproar when his first fragmented statement, "Pull off the band aid", is code to his HHS Czar to cut funding for aids research and "force the gays with aids to act out! This segment of our population is small but very vocal and are politically connected in high as well as low places, otherwise there would be a special gay tax, like the cigarette tax to help defray the costs of Aids research.
San Francisco will become a blood bath if anything happens to aids research funding.
Now, "eat our peas." Probably code for a department level chief to close an entire section of government to make the people, read "eat", feel like they were chewed up and spit out.
Which governmental department would do the most harm to the peas? The three words have the answer in the letters of the word PEA. The EPA, Environmental Protection Agency, is the natural choice as the clearest example of a government department without which the most people would be affected. Need more convincing, peas are green! The greenies,like the gays, are a small but very vocal group of US Citizens.
Clean air and water affects us all. The water without the EPA would turn foul in under a fortnight, and the air quality would become worse than China's over night. Toilets would revert to high flow all over the country. Coal would burn and warm the water to spin the turbines to produce an abundance of electrical energy and electricity rates would necessarily crash with all the increased production.
Companies could up size and hire a more employees with the energy savings realized by the absence of the EPA. Revenues would start to fill the US Treasury again with the added economic boost the loss of the EPA's drag on commerce would have.
The 47 million American workers who were idled by President Obama's stimulus package would groan as they packed lunches to go back to work. Oh the humanity!
More sack lunches means more work at the slaughter houses for the meats, the flour mill for bread, and the snack companies for chips and candy bars. More sacks means more trees cut for pulp. More loggers in the fields. And et c. et c.
If Obama carries out his threat to shut these vital governmental agencies down, it could put the Urban Poverty Law Center out of business. Good. I am ready to retire.
Retire, hell, I am ready for my pine box and the promise of eternal peas.
Look for the code in his next presser. DOE, BATFE, IRS, DHS, might sound something as innocuous as this:
We Do not operate withOut the Ether.
Battles Against The Feted English.
Israel will Remain Salient.
Don't Hit me in the Shins.
I am your code breaker, and money maker, and red neck baker in Cedar Grove, Tennessee.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD. President
The Urban Poverty Law Center
Our experts at the Urban Poverty Law Center have been studying these two incongruous statements and believe they are code phrases and we will dissect them for those among us who are not as bright as those in the Urban Poverty Law Center, namely, Jackson Delano Maybolt, Jr.
First let us play around with the first statement. "Pull off the band aid". Pull implies force. Off implies not upon, so the second word could be code for on, band implies a group, like gays and the transgendered, and aid could imply gays and transgendered people with aids. Clearly, "pull off the band aid" becomes code for "Force on the gays with aids".
Imagine the uproar when his first fragmented statement, "Pull off the band aid", is code to his HHS Czar to cut funding for aids research and "force the gays with aids to act out! This segment of our population is small but very vocal and are politically connected in high as well as low places, otherwise there would be a special gay tax, like the cigarette tax to help defray the costs of Aids research.
San Francisco will become a blood bath if anything happens to aids research funding.
Now, "eat our peas." Probably code for a department level chief to close an entire section of government to make the people, read "eat", feel like they were chewed up and spit out.
Which governmental department would do the most harm to the peas? The three words have the answer in the letters of the word PEA. The EPA, Environmental Protection Agency, is the natural choice as the clearest example of a government department without which the most people would be affected. Need more convincing, peas are green! The greenies,like the gays, are a small but very vocal group of US Citizens.
Clean air and water affects us all. The water without the EPA would turn foul in under a fortnight, and the air quality would become worse than China's over night. Toilets would revert to high flow all over the country. Coal would burn and warm the water to spin the turbines to produce an abundance of electrical energy and electricity rates would necessarily crash with all the increased production.
Companies could up size and hire a more employees with the energy savings realized by the absence of the EPA. Revenues would start to fill the US Treasury again with the added economic boost the loss of the EPA's drag on commerce would have.
The 47 million American workers who were idled by President Obama's stimulus package would groan as they packed lunches to go back to work. Oh the humanity!
More sack lunches means more work at the slaughter houses for the meats, the flour mill for bread, and the snack companies for chips and candy bars. More sacks means more trees cut for pulp. More loggers in the fields. And et c. et c.
If Obama carries out his threat to shut these vital governmental agencies down, it could put the Urban Poverty Law Center out of business. Good. I am ready to retire.
Retire, hell, I am ready for my pine box and the promise of eternal peas.
Look for the code in his next presser. DOE, BATFE, IRS, DHS, might sound something as innocuous as this:
We Do not operate withOut the Ether.
Battles Against The Feted English.
Israel will Remain Salient.
Don't Hit me in the Shins.
I am your code breaker, and money maker, and red neck baker in Cedar Grove, Tennessee.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD. President
The Urban Poverty Law Center
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Connects Grizzly Killing In Yellowstone Park to Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin's inflammatory rhetoric has claimed another victim. Not since Palin placed gun sight targets on members of congress in her vicious Tea Party sponsored attacks against incumbents of congress during the 2008 election cycle has such a horrible event occurred. You will recall that the gun targets provoked a schizophrenic in Tucson, Arizona to gun down Congresswoman Giffords and 12 others at a meet and greet event at a Safeway store.
According to a spokesperson for George Soros's "Open Society", Ms. Malignant Melanoma Malenthrope, "the recent cluster of vicious grizzly bear attacks against humans can be directly traced back to Sarah Palin. Recall it was Ms. Palin who evoked the term "mamma grizzly" when being braggadocios about her and other tea party female members strong commitments to their conservative principles and the protection of their young conservative children."
Now, somehow word has leaked to the real mamma grizzly bears and they have been attacking and killing liberals whose only offence was to enter the mamma grizzly bears domain and threaten to raise taxes on the bears. The latest victim was a 57 yr old retired democrat who was mauled to death in Yellowstone Park. Palin must be held accountable. Words have meaning.
It seems the bears know that liberals do not feed the bears in the national parks like Yellowstone, but conservatives feed the bears if they have enough spare monies to take such a family trip. With the Obama administrations threat to raise taxes on the working and producing Americans, the bears know their share of the American Dream will be sharply curtailed. Thus, the irritability of the mamma grizzly is understandable.
Let me be the first to lay blame where blame should be, at the feet of Sarah Palin.
The Urban Poverty Law Center does not and will never condone violence from humans or animals against humans or animals. I believe we must do what ever it takes to get along. I am asking that Ms. Palin tone down her violent rhetoric today. How many more innocents must be slaughtered?
I believe President Obama must send an envoy to have talks with the mamma grizzlies to see if we can iron out our differences. He could use this unfortunate event to establish a Czar of Wildlife Relations, answerable only to him who could work tirelessly to bring peace to our national parks. In the meantime, Sarah Palin must put a sock in it!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Boys will be boys, and bears will be bears, but the wolf should be exterminated."
Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008
According to a spokesperson for George Soros's "Open Society", Ms. Malignant Melanoma Malenthrope, "the recent cluster of vicious grizzly bear attacks against humans can be directly traced back to Sarah Palin. Recall it was Ms. Palin who evoked the term "mamma grizzly" when being braggadocios about her and other tea party female members strong commitments to their conservative principles and the protection of their young conservative children."
Now, somehow word has leaked to the real mamma grizzly bears and they have been attacking and killing liberals whose only offence was to enter the mamma grizzly bears domain and threaten to raise taxes on the bears. The latest victim was a 57 yr old retired democrat who was mauled to death in Yellowstone Park. Palin must be held accountable. Words have meaning.
It seems the bears know that liberals do not feed the bears in the national parks like Yellowstone, but conservatives feed the bears if they have enough spare monies to take such a family trip. With the Obama administrations threat to raise taxes on the working and producing Americans, the bears know their share of the American Dream will be sharply curtailed. Thus, the irritability of the mamma grizzly is understandable.
Let me be the first to lay blame where blame should be, at the feet of Sarah Palin.
The Urban Poverty Law Center does not and will never condone violence from humans or animals against humans or animals. I believe we must do what ever it takes to get along. I am asking that Ms. Palin tone down her violent rhetoric today. How many more innocents must be slaughtered?
I believe President Obama must send an envoy to have talks with the mamma grizzlies to see if we can iron out our differences. He could use this unfortunate event to establish a Czar of Wildlife Relations, answerable only to him who could work tirelessly to bring peace to our national parks. In the meantime, Sarah Palin must put a sock in it!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Boys will be boys, and bears will be bears, but the wolf should be exterminated."
Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Urban Poverty Weakly Law Centers ICE Comments
Well, I guess I should mention the Casey Anthony trial verdict this week in my Weakly Interesting Current Events, but I will not. You must go to the big media for your daily ration of bread and circuses. From what I've heard against my will the press is Casey Anthony 24/7, 9 to 5, wall to wall, sunup to sundown, rain or shine, black or white, rich or poorer, in sickness and in health, til the next sensational death drama plays out, hopefully to contain a midget clown this time to make it more interesting. You can read my post dated 1/08/11 on the death of my father for a good story with midgets.
Alasdair Thompson, CEO of the New Zealand Employers and Manufacturers Association blurted out in a radio interview that the women of New Zealand earned about 12% less than their male counterparts, because a woman's parts are down for up to one week in four and with the bleeding and change in personality he and his fellows at the NZEMA blame PMS for lost productivity and for the pay inequity. The female interviewer, who ironically, was herself menstruating during the interview struck Alasdair in the neb with her purse heavily laden with tampons causing it to bleed like a very harsh period.
Alasdair Thompson has learned you never follow the old news adage, "if it bleeds, it leads to pay inequities" when on the radio discussing pay differences between men and women in New Zealand.
Alasdair Thompson is expected to make a full recovery, his neb I mean. I am afraid his comment shackles him the proud owner of the scarlet letter "M". Now he will carry the curse with him along with its bloody consequences for the rest of his life. Pity, sometimes the best thing to do or say is nothing.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Alasdair Thompson, CEO of the New Zealand Employers and Manufacturers Association blurted out in a radio interview that the women of New Zealand earned about 12% less than their male counterparts, because a woman's parts are down for up to one week in four and with the bleeding and change in personality he and his fellows at the NZEMA blame PMS for lost productivity and for the pay inequity. The female interviewer, who ironically, was herself menstruating during the interview struck Alasdair in the neb with her purse heavily laden with tampons causing it to bleed like a very harsh period.
Alasdair Thompson has learned you never follow the old news adage, "if it bleeds, it leads to pay inequities" when on the radio discussing pay differences between men and women in New Zealand.
Alasdair Thompson is expected to make a full recovery, his neb I mean. I am afraid his comment shackles him the proud owner of the scarlet letter "M". Now he will carry the curse with him along with its bloody consequences for the rest of his life. Pity, sometimes the best thing to do or say is nothing.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Monday, July 4, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Detects First Signs of Dementia, President Clinton
Former President, William Jefferson Clinton, the United States most senior, living, former democrat President not named Carter, is showing his age and the great think tank living high above his shoulders is looking more and more like an over sized hat stand. In his speech to the Aspen Ideas Festival he suggested our corporate tax rate is not competitive at 35%.
"We tax (corporate income) at 35% of income, although we only take about 23%. So, we should cut the rate to 25%, or whatever is competitive, and eliminate a lot of the deductions so that we still get a FAIR amount, so there is not much variance in what the corporations pay. But how can they do that by August 2?"
What, Mr. President? How can they do that by August 2? I suggest to you another question that may be more appropriate given your statement. Why would they do that? Jack Maybolt may not be a Yale trained lawyer with a predilection for peccadillo's or a former president of the United States, but you, Bill Clinton, who are all three of the above, just suggested artificially lowering the corporate income tax rate while keeping revenues the same by eliminating the deductions the corporations depend on to keep their economic engines purring. Have you just invented the Tax Cut in Name Only?
Final Jeopardy answer: Bill Clinton Corporate Tax Plan
Your question: "When is a tax cut not a tax cut?"
Moderator: "Correct!"
Furthermore, Mr. Clinton, there are still some corporate executives who are your intellectual equal, and with your recent mental decline, normal with aging populations in our western world, perhaps your superior, but only because they are younger and have to compete globally for profits with one hand tied behind their backs by the regulations your colleagues in Washington DC have hoisted upon them over the years, and they know you want to lower their taxes without giving them a tax break.
I humbly suggest you run your tax cutting ideas by Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform, to see if it passes the smell test. As you pointed out to the Aspen Ideas Festival crowd, the republicans follow his advice and this has kept them out of trouble all these years.
Mr. Clinton and Grover Norquist, I would like to point out to you the Urban Poverty Law Centers suggestions for balancing the federal budget and some tax break suggestions on this site dated, December 2, 2010. Take a look it is free.
Your Humble Citizen, Jackson Delano Maybolt, President UPLC
"You know you belong at the Aspen Ideas Festival if you are listening to Bill Clinton drone on about imaginary tax cuts for Corporations and think it is a wonderful plan!" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
"We tax (corporate income) at 35% of income, although we only take about 23%. So, we should cut the rate to 25%, or whatever is competitive, and eliminate a lot of the deductions so that we still get a FAIR amount, so there is not much variance in what the corporations pay. But how can they do that by August 2?"
What, Mr. President? How can they do that by August 2? I suggest to you another question that may be more appropriate given your statement. Why would they do that? Jack Maybolt may not be a Yale trained lawyer with a predilection for peccadillo's or a former president of the United States, but you, Bill Clinton, who are all three of the above, just suggested artificially lowering the corporate income tax rate while keeping revenues the same by eliminating the deductions the corporations depend on to keep their economic engines purring. Have you just invented the Tax Cut in Name Only?
Final Jeopardy answer: Bill Clinton Corporate Tax Plan
Your question: "When is a tax cut not a tax cut?"
Moderator: "Correct!"
Furthermore, Mr. Clinton, there are still some corporate executives who are your intellectual equal, and with your recent mental decline, normal with aging populations in our western world, perhaps your superior, but only because they are younger and have to compete globally for profits with one hand tied behind their backs by the regulations your colleagues in Washington DC have hoisted upon them over the years, and they know you want to lower their taxes without giving them a tax break.
I humbly suggest you run your tax cutting ideas by Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform, to see if it passes the smell test. As you pointed out to the Aspen Ideas Festival crowd, the republicans follow his advice and this has kept them out of trouble all these years.
Mr. Clinton and Grover Norquist, I would like to point out to you the Urban Poverty Law Centers suggestions for balancing the federal budget and some tax break suggestions on this site dated, December 2, 2010. Take a look it is free.
Your Humble Citizen, Jackson Delano Maybolt, President UPLC
"You know you belong at the Aspen Ideas Festival if you are listening to Bill Clinton drone on about imaginary tax cuts for Corporations and think it is a wonderful plan!" Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Urban Poverthy Law Center: Ben and Timmy's, I Scream!
And you can't see the forest for the trees. A common mistake when urban folks head out into the countryside. Another mistake is Ben Bernanke's steerage of the Federal Reserve Bank's monetary policy. Quantitative Easing II ended quietly and with no fanfare on June 30, 2011. That ping and whine down you heard at your bank was the last coins striking an empty vault as the feds ginormous printing presses spun down. The dollar paper makers did not stop making dollar paper, since they do not believe this congress will hold the line on the debt ceiling.
Tim Geithner announced a new Treasury plan this week to stimulate the stock markets, the federal assist in recovering troubled stocks, FARTS, along with his desire to step down as the Secretary of Treasury.
FARTS plans to infuse a pant load of newly created money into the stock market to inflate the value of stocks which Geithner believes will by necessity relieve the downward pressure on the dollar when compared to a basket of other, mostly third world, fiat currencies.
"I feel very confident that the US dollar will do well against the Zimbabwean Dollar, the Mexican Peso and Somali Shillings." He was quoted as stating.
Geithner went on to say, "If the FARTS program is as successful as I believe it can be, then President Obama may be the first leader who FARTS his way to re-election in 2012!"
Chinese President, Hu, was the first of many world leaders to say US FARTS are fouling the international investment community and something drastic must be done to clear the air.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel stated all of Europe is holding its nose when she learned of the new Geithner plan. "I do not think the US knows how Geitner's FARTS will effect Greece in its recovery effort."
Geithner was asked how big a FART was planned by the Federal Reserve, and though they have not settled on a final figure, he said it would be very substantial.
To which, Mark Halpern, formerly of Time and CNN, blurted out, "In other words a very large FART?
"Yes, Mark, a very large FART. Perhaps a FART that will be heard round the world!"
Jackob, Urban Poverty Law Center
Tim Geithner announced a new Treasury plan this week to stimulate the stock markets, the federal assist in recovering troubled stocks, FARTS, along with his desire to step down as the Secretary of Treasury.
FARTS plans to infuse a pant load of newly created money into the stock market to inflate the value of stocks which Geithner believes will by necessity relieve the downward pressure on the dollar when compared to a basket of other, mostly third world, fiat currencies.
"I feel very confident that the US dollar will do well against the Zimbabwean Dollar, the Mexican Peso and Somali Shillings." He was quoted as stating.
Geithner went on to say, "If the FARTS program is as successful as I believe it can be, then President Obama may be the first leader who FARTS his way to re-election in 2012!"
Chinese President, Hu, was the first of many world leaders to say US FARTS are fouling the international investment community and something drastic must be done to clear the air.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel stated all of Europe is holding its nose when she learned of the new Geithner plan. "I do not think the US knows how Geitner's FARTS will effect Greece in its recovery effort."
Geithner was asked how big a FART was planned by the Federal Reserve, and though they have not settled on a final figure, he said it would be very substantial.
To which, Mark Halpern, formerly of Time and CNN, blurted out, "In other words a very large FART?
"Yes, Mark, a very large FART. Perhaps a FART that will be heard round the world!"
Jackob, Urban Poverty Law Center
Friday, July 1, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Weakly ICE Comments
Greece will have its skids greased by German Chancellor Adolf Merkel. The Germans have the most experience in bailing out bankrupt EU countries since taking on its bastard half step child, East Germany, when the former Soviet Union, fell into a financial heap, and unloaded all its former charges in Eastern Europe after playing chicken with Ronald Reagan. Seems the Socialist at the Kremlin had run out of other peoples money, not unlike those fun loving, barely working, bronze toned leisure lizards, who lounge clad only in speedos on their beautiful Mediterranean beaches ogling the topless tourists from Tunisia traipsing triumphantly towards Timbuktu.
All play and no work makes Jack Mayboltopompolottalou a happy boy! The Greeks enjoy one of the shortest work weeks in the world, 33 hrs. Even our man-child president, Barack Hussein Obama, puts in 34 hrs of work a week if you include his 6 hr golf games.
Mark Halpern, formerly of CNN/Time, blurted out an honest assessment of our Incompetence in Chief, Barack Obama, on Morning Joe yesterday, when he referenced Obama as the thing displayed in Anthony Weiner's undershorts made famous by Twitter.
Apparently, Mr. Obama's handlers, no pun here, want to see if the President, who was a Dick in his press conference on live TV, can match Weiner for Weiner on Twitter where he will conduct a townhall meeting. Jay Carney has assured us President Obama will be fully clad for the Tweeting, surrounded by his handlers. Not a fluff girl in the chorus, I might add.
Michelle Bachmann, threw her bonnet into the ring to challenge Mr. Obama for his position. I use position instead of job, because the term "job" implies work, and if work is measured by results, then Obama has only held the position, he is President in name only, PINO, or President in Position Only, or PIPO, if you please or PIP for short.
PIP, that has a nice, small, and inconsequential ring to it when referencing our beloved 44th president.
Tim Geithner, Secretary of the Empty Treasury, is getting fatigued managing all those imaginary dollars as they fly off the Fed's printing presses and out the door.
He says he is dizzied by the blur of green streaming out of his department. That the 80 teaparty congressional neophytes have held out for raising the August 2, 2011 debt ceiling for so long is remarkable. The pressure these freshman congressmen and women feel must be greater than that experienced by the cotton fibers in Weiner's undershorts in the magnificently tumescent twittered photo of Huma's estranged husband's reproduction apparatus or "package" if you please.
Personally I am shocked anyone would want to reproduce that queer little man, ever! God has to have a sense of humor. Anthony Weiner, hoisted on his own petard, placed here by God as good entertainment to the many who are not queer little men. We only chuckle along with God. We do not mock his creation, only its flaws.
Show of hands, who among us has not wanted to twit our packages to hundreds of horny coeds when our minds were muddled by a testosterone storm pressured by gonads charged with millions and millions of able bodied semen, throbbing and pulsating, screaming and rioting, pushing and shoving in protest for early release? But most of us left all that behind after successfully making our way out of puberty. Estrogen and Testosterone can make fools of us all. Let us face it, without it men and women would kill each other and the human race would be extinct. Viva la hormones!
Buck Turgidson is Anthony Weiners screen name, chosen from the Dr. Strangelove character played in the movie by Geo. C. Scott. If you have never seen this 1963 classic Stan Kubrick movie, netflix it and spend an hour and 45 minutes and laugh. The late great Peter Sellers has three parts in the movie, Mandrake, President Merkin, and Dr. Strangelove.
This past week or two in politics has been strange-love. Better get it while you still can. I am...
Dr. Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Boys will be boys, and boys would be girls without testosterone. Personally, I like the two party system better." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
All play and no work makes Jack Mayboltopompolottalou a happy boy! The Greeks enjoy one of the shortest work weeks in the world, 33 hrs. Even our man-child president, Barack Hussein Obama, puts in 34 hrs of work a week if you include his 6 hr golf games.
Mark Halpern, formerly of CNN/Time, blurted out an honest assessment of our Incompetence in Chief, Barack Obama, on Morning Joe yesterday, when he referenced Obama as the thing displayed in Anthony Weiner's undershorts made famous by Twitter.
Apparently, Mr. Obama's handlers, no pun here, want to see if the President, who was a Dick in his press conference on live TV, can match Weiner for Weiner on Twitter where he will conduct a townhall meeting. Jay Carney has assured us President Obama will be fully clad for the Tweeting, surrounded by his handlers. Not a fluff girl in the chorus, I might add.
Michelle Bachmann, threw her bonnet into the ring to challenge Mr. Obama for his position. I use position instead of job, because the term "job" implies work, and if work is measured by results, then Obama has only held the position, he is President in name only, PINO, or President in Position Only, or PIPO, if you please or PIP for short.
PIP, that has a nice, small, and inconsequential ring to it when referencing our beloved 44th president.
Tim Geithner, Secretary of the Empty Treasury, is getting fatigued managing all those imaginary dollars as they fly off the Fed's printing presses and out the door.
He says he is dizzied by the blur of green streaming out of his department. That the 80 teaparty congressional neophytes have held out for raising the August 2, 2011 debt ceiling for so long is remarkable. The pressure these freshman congressmen and women feel must be greater than that experienced by the cotton fibers in Weiner's undershorts in the magnificently tumescent twittered photo of Huma's estranged husband's reproduction apparatus or "package" if you please.
Personally I am shocked anyone would want to reproduce that queer little man, ever! God has to have a sense of humor. Anthony Weiner, hoisted on his own petard, placed here by God as good entertainment to the many who are not queer little men. We only chuckle along with God. We do not mock his creation, only its flaws.
Show of hands, who among us has not wanted to twit our packages to hundreds of horny coeds when our minds were muddled by a testosterone storm pressured by gonads charged with millions and millions of able bodied semen, throbbing and pulsating, screaming and rioting, pushing and shoving in protest for early release? But most of us left all that behind after successfully making our way out of puberty. Estrogen and Testosterone can make fools of us all. Let us face it, without it men and women would kill each other and the human race would be extinct. Viva la hormones!
Buck Turgidson is Anthony Weiners screen name, chosen from the Dr. Strangelove character played in the movie by Geo. C. Scott. If you have never seen this 1963 classic Stan Kubrick movie, netflix it and spend an hour and 45 minutes and laugh. The late great Peter Sellers has three parts in the movie, Mandrake, President Merkin, and Dr. Strangelove.
This past week or two in politics has been strange-love. Better get it while you still can. I am...
Dr. Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Boys will be boys, and boys would be girls without testosterone. Personally, I like the two party system better." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
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