My name is Pres. Clinton Maybolt. I am Jackson Delano Maybolt's nephew by marriage. My mother is a life long democrat and loves President Clinton and his wife Hillary more than life itself. If I had been a girl I would have been named Hillary. Mother found this blog while searching through Uncle Jack's things and found a note from Uncle Jack which instructs the family on the dissolution of the blog should anything unexpectedly happen to him.
If you missed the Jackson Sun's account yesterday, Uncle Jack was crushed by a tree he was felling down by the river. He was pinned by a large Sycamore as it fell and bounced towards rather than away from Uncle Maybolt. He often cut trees for firewood alone and since no one could really get along with him, he was not missed until his secretary, Susan Blunderdoss, came back from visiting her daughter, Margot, who recently gave birth to her 3rd grandchild, a boy, in Pinkertons, Missouri. Susan sounded the alarm but it took the local search and rescue team led by the Carroll County Sheriff's department about a week to muster the team together. It was the holidays you see. The team said they looked far and wide, but Bobby McDaniel's says they mostly looked at the Parker's Road Store sipping coffee and warming up by the potbelly stove.
I should not be writing this today if Junior Ellis's boy, Jr. Junior,IV, hadn't been poaching squirrels over on Uncle Jack and come across that grizzly scene about a week ago and told it to his pal, Martin Ringworm, while riding the bus to school yesterday. Well, Martin told Feckless Worthington, the gym teacher, who called Jr. Junior out of 3rd period social studies, and went immediately to Principle Throckmorton who notified the Sheriff.
The Sheriff, Billy Joe Dundershots, drove to school and loaded up Jr. Junior and Feckless Worthington into his black Chevy four wheel drive Blazer with the tinted windows and sped away from the middle school. Found Uncle Jackson right where the tree had squished his pelvic bones. The coroner, Doc Beavers, said looks like he died of exposure and due to the tree that crushed his middle parts, keeping him from crawling away for help.
Doc Beavers is well respected for his scientific analysis of death scenes. Nobody has his uncannily keen insights into cause of death. He comes to the school every year to talk about his most interesting cases, but he always changes the names of the victims since it is a small community and there is so much kin here, but we kids all know who he is telling about by the way they died.
When Mort Clovis flew his Piper Cub into that tree in the middle of Jug Wheatson's cow pasture, Doc Beavers said his head popped off his neck because of the excessive speed and the sudden stop. Says it flew out of the cock pit of the Piper like a cannon ball striking Jug's favorite Bull in the rib cage, causing the bull to stagger around for almost an hour.
Jug called the Vet out, but the bull pulled through anyway.
Well, I got to cut this short, the bus is on the way and I still have to brush my tooth.
Pres. Clinton Maybolt, nephew, Jackson Delano Maybolt, deceased President, Urban Poverty Law Center
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