Below is a copy of a letter we at UPLC sent to both Madam Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama.
20 August, 2011
Dear President Obama and Secretary Clinton:
We have been watching the unrest in Libya over the past few months with great angst and wish to contribute to the peace process.
We have already offered Colonel Gaddafi safe haven here in Cedar Grove, Tn and believe he will accept our offer if we can get over there and present our offer in person. As we see it he has a few details to work out before he can accept our generous offer. His safe departure from Libya being foremost and pressing given the recent downturn in his fortunes.
My legal team says we will need a waiver from the State Department. Hillary, you can get this for us, please,so we can travel there during this time of unrest? We will sign all the waivers and releases you require. We need this pronto.
President Obama, if you are finished campaigning for the summer in the beautiful and heavily armored bus built in Canada and purchased with our grandchildren's labor, I would like to include it in the offer to Colonel Gaddafi. This bus will make his exit from Tripoli more certain of success.
Check with Michelle. Reassure her we could make the president's bedroom off limits to his entourage if it is a deal breaker for her and forbid the Colonel from using the cheap cologne he applies after monthly baths to mask the odors from his apocrine sweat glands colonized by the virulent Mid East strains of flesh eating staphylococcus and e. coli. We will also ask him to refrain from transporting camel's milk in the bus to avoid spillage and he will not be allowed to butcher anything in the kitchen. All goats will be slaughtered before being brought aboard. I will personally see to it. You have my word.
We need to hear from your people right away so we can make our plans. As you both know things over there are heating up.
If you agree to our proposal, we will need help with transport of the armored bus. Perhaps one air force C130 has the payload, and could we hitch a ride as it will be going there anyway? We like to keep things simple as we are on a very limited budget since we have no nation of sheep to tax nor a banking system willing to print up extra cash when the sheep begin to bleat in protest.
The way we see it this would be a small yet very kind and powerful gesture to Colonel Gaddafi and may break the stalemate we find ourselves in Libya.
If this works you could commission a number of buses, to be constructed in Canada of course, and call it Barack Obama's Bus Tour For Peace, Freedom and Democracy. These could be sent as Peace Symbols and powerful warnings to every tin hat dictator in the world who has the gall to disagree with US hegemony.
Hugo, Fidel, Assad, Muammar, Kim, Mahmoud, and Beautrix, Queen of the Netherlands need to know we are building a bus reserved especially for them. They can run but they can't hide from the bus when it comes for them. Nothing signals gravitas like a heavily armored black bus, except maybe a nuclear armed cruise missile en route.
Nixon gave us Kissinger and his shuttle diplomacy, T Roosevelt with his walk softly and carry a big stick, The Bush Doctrine of shoot first and ask questions later, Clinton with his no intern's behind left alone policy, and now Barack Hussein Obama, Black Bus Diplomacy with Hillary Clinton driving! Brilliant!
History is yesterday's news tomorrow written by life's winner" as they are fond of saying on Martha's Vineyard this time of year, while sipping expensive French wines and dining on lobster and Wagu beef. All there save a few are on that island now because of a seed planted by fate in a mother's open womb by a wealthy father with foresight to set his spawn up for life as "Trust Funded Monkeys" with all the privileges it entails.
I believe the Black Bus will be driving history for years if not decades to come. What have we done to deserve this? We are truly blessed by the great wisdom and the unselfish actions of our vaulted leadership.
So come on, get on the bus already!
As a show of respect, the paint job should be in the colors of the respective country's flag.
Yours truly:
S.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Maybolts don't do politics. Too base. Leave that to the political underclass." Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008
No comments:
Post a Comment