Saturday, October 29, 2011

Suprise Snow Storm In October Proof Positive Of Global Warming

Carbon Dioxide is more toxic to human life than ObamaCare is to big business, though not by much. The Little Ice Age ended barely a century ago, brought on by a lull in the power of the sun. Mark Twain often walked across a frozen Mississippi river to visit other states while just a lad in the 1840's. The Dutch used to skate on their waterways as recently as 50 years ago. We do not know what cold is here in America.

Why just a mere 10 thousand years ago over half this continent was layered with more Ice than the Obama's have taken vacation days on our dime. Some places the Glaciers were a mile deep! It will happen again. It is already starting. A record 1.3 inches fell on Hobo Park in New York City where the occupy wall street gang of 70 is clinging on to the good life while their head and pubic lice are having to buy scarves and making the long journey from scalp and pubic areas to warmer cracks and crevasses near the axilla and the anus.

When it is a matter of survival, people and lice will take desperate measures! Colonel Gadhafi even hid in a culvert filled with camel excrement when his life was threatened. And Sadam Hussein crawled into a spider hole where he was captured.
Hitler killed his body double and his wife Eva and had them burned with petrol in the fore yard of his bunker while he was spirited out of Berlin in a small plane piloted by Heinrich Murdoch, and Murdoch merely a student pilot.

He spent his last 40 years in Spain under the protection of the United States Secret Service living in President Franco's winter home in Barcelona. He is said to have grown a beard and shaved his mustache, and even played himself in a few Hollywood films before he got too feeble to read his lines. His only regret was that he did not do more to win the second world war.

Said he would have won if the Japanese had taken on the Russians in a more forceful manner.

My great uncle corresponded with Adolf Hitler up until his death in 1987 at the age of 101. He never lost his quick wit nor his hatred for the communist. Was he bitter?

You could say that. His vision for a world where the strong not only survive, but dominate was crushed. He warned my uncle that one day history would prove him correct. But the world would not see his genius.

Well, the little ice age is back and we will be cold and occupy wall street will freeze and Hitler and Franco are dead as are Hussein and Gadhafi and many billions who came this way before. I am beginning to collect fire wood in case I need it. I like the warm weather. My body's temperature is about 98 degrees F and functions best when it is kept at that level. Why all the hubbub about Global warming when we should be fearing a return of the ice box!

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Herman Cain You Tube Smoke Add: Urban Poverty Law Center Explains It

What is all the hubbub with the YouTube Ad for Herman Cain where a man touts Cain's strengths as a candidate then takes a drag off a nearly used up cigarette with his best H. Bogart impersonation. Then Herman Cain's portrait appears out of the smoke looking like the cat that ate the canary! Beautiful.

Translation: Cain is not a believer in the nanny state. He opposed the banning of smoking in public places. The ad is a not quite subliminal message to patriots who favor personal freedom over tyranny. A government that can take your rights to smoke where and when you want can also take anything else it wants from you and will. Look out sodas, cholesterol, chocolate, fats and bacon, the government is running out of items to regulate, read tax. The EPA is already looking towards a Cow flatulence tax and a farmers dust tax to help stymie falling tax revenues

Besides, as Woody Allen predicted in "The Sleeper" cigarettes are not without their health benefits. They have been shown to stave off the development of Parkinson's disease through some interaction with the brain's nicotine receptors and the prevention of dementia is still a possibility. If you smoke don't stop, but if you do not smoke wait for the small nicotine pills for the prevention of brain rot instead of lighting up.

The clueless overpaid blond and beautiful bubble-headed babblers who adorn our flat screen TVs and pose as intellectuals here to tell us what to think were baffled beautiful babblers by Candidate Cain's smoke advertisement.

Look for more subliminal messages in Herman Cain's political ads. If you understand it you will vote for a man with his political philosophy. Look at the others in the field for the republicans.

Romney, nanny state sponsor; Gingrich, nanny-boy (global warmist), Perry, stealth nanny statist, Bachmann, OK probably, Ron Paul, OK probably; Santorum, nanny-boy.

Herman Cain scares the hell out of the established power brokers and thus the negative background noise from the press who should not be able to turn an election, but still can, but to a lesser extent than when Clinton first ran. Cain is a powerful man with testosterone receptors in all the right places. He was raised with strong family values in the South when racism truly permeated our society here and he won life's lottery against huge odds through hard work and determination.

Herman Cain will bring that sort of dedication to the presidency and will fight for this country like no other. He knows how to row against the currents. When he is sworn in his work will be cut out for him. He will meet the challenge. He will make us proud.

Is he a polished politician? No. Will he make gaffes during the campaign? Yes. When everything you say is recorded and dissected, sometimes your mouth gets ahead of your brain and something comes out even you did not expect. So what!

My advice to Herman Cain is to keep putting your ideas out there and be Herman Cain. It has been successful for you so far.

Cain looks like the best fit for our country, a once proud and prosperous nation felled by Super-Nanny Statist Barack Hussein Obama and a government packed with well meaning nanny-boys who are looking out for us.

Blah, blah, blah, don't smoke around the baby, blah, blah, blah don't eat that bacon and eggs, blah, blah, the earth is warming, blah, blah, blah, coal and oil are evil sources of energy, blah blah, blah guns are dangerous, blah, blah, blah, let me just feel your package before you get on that plane, blah, blah, blah God and prayer have no place in schools, blah, blah, blah, we don't need to defend our borders! Fences are for sissies!

Hello, Herman Cain, good-bye Nanny!

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Occupy Wall Street Cashes In! $500,000 In Donations Banked

Mark Twain, the famous writer and humorist from middle America, said "No man can stand success; another's that is." And now we learn the Occupy Wall Street feather heads or as Mark Twain might refer to them, these puddin'heads have collected over half a million dollars they claim to care for the needs of those patriots who are protesting so that others may live comfortable lives freed up of needless diversions such as working for a living.

How much of the monies raised will be due the IRS? Unless they have filled for a tax exempt form from the IRS, they will be shocked at what they will pay. They will learn a hard lesson. Socialism is not free and shortly they will know the hardest lesson socialism has to offer: "Pretty soon you run out of other peoples money."

I want to be the first to point out they have not paid the tax on these monies, and should be entitled to the 10% tattlers fee the IRS so generously offers to Tax Squealers! I can see my ship's sails out on the horizon, here she comes!

Well, place the Urban Poverty Law Center in the envy chair on this one. The Occupy Wall Street crowd is raking in contributions from every commie and Marxist front group in the world, and my Occupy Cedar Grove, Tennessee, (OCGT) has raised zilch!

I have enough money to last for another 35 minutes out in this cold, but without some serious help here I am going to have call this one for the Wall Street Boys. I will have to fold up my tent and go home.

Thank you for your prayers and letters of support. By the time many of you see this I will be back inside my warm house. I will leave the protests to the professionals at SEIU, the Teamsters, and by what ever new name ACORN is using until the next public scandal!

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center

Saturday, October 22, 2011

President Obama's War In Iraq Ends: Urban Poverty Law Center Shocked

Readers, tweeters, Occupy Streeters, Wal-Mart Greeters, former wife-beaters, third world leaders, income tax cheaters, and Jackson Delano Maybolt, who is well represented by the introduction list in more than one category, though not a cheater, a beater, or a streeter, I come to praise President Obama not to curry favor with him.

The first thing President Barack Hussein Obama did that I agree with is to draw down all our troops from Iraq. Our mission is completed! Al Qaida is a headless serpent spinning around the deserts of the Middle East and we in America have bigger fish to fry as they are fond of saying here stateside.

For example, the Lords Prayer Army of Uganda has just received a shipment of new and improved hacking machetes hot off the North Korean Iron Works by way of Venezuela each personally stamped by Hugo Chavez's secretary of the Inferior, Manuel De la Grossa Kelly. This, in spite of the United Nations Ruling NM-993322, which explicitly calls for a voluntary banning of improved hacking machetes in dirt-poor, oil and mineral rich, Sub Sahara black Africa.

I did not want to say anything because I know BATFnE and Attorney General Eric Holder have a lot on their plates right now, but this has all the hallmarks of their MO. Machete walking, Slash and Furious, what are these people thinking. We are not stupid!

As they say, outlaw hacking machetes and only the outlaws will have hacking machetes! Or another favorite of mine; "you can have my hacking machete when you peel it out of my cold dead hands!" And not to leave out; "sure I will give you my hacking machete, one atom at a time as it slices off each limb from your bloated liberal torso."

Back to Iraq and President Obama's announcement. On first look, I cheered his decision. Then after some reflection I RAN into a few misgivings. My cats needed food, so I RAN to Wal-mart. My windows needed caulking before winter, so I RAN to the hardware store. My cows were low on salt blocks so I RAN to the Co-op. Now that you see what I fear the double secret meaning of the troop draw down in Iraq may be, I am not so gleeful.

Hey, maybe I am wrong. I have been wrong once before, and that was when I thought I was wrong. Time for a quick poem for the simple. IRAN BEFORE THE FALL

Iran into Ahmadinejad
at my local Synagogue
he did not speak
just showed his teeth
n got bitch slapped by Uncle Billy Bob

Lastly, I want to leave you with this...............................................................................................................not all fruit flies are gay, some are just happy.

Jackson Delano Maybolt President and Poet Laurette for The Urban Poverty Law Center

Monday, October 17, 2011

Urban Poverty Law Center Receives List Of Fleabagger/Occupy Wall Street Demands

Somehow, a leader of the Flea Party, so named by a malicious group of middle class Americans who work hard and play by the rules and pay the majority of the income tax, raise the majority of soldiers and policemen, and attend most of the churches, sent me a copy of the Fleagaggers demands. He has asked if I would critique it. Wood Eye!

Below is the missive Leif Clinton James Throckmorton, VI pinned to me, actually sent on his I-phone:

Jack Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center
Cedar Grove, Tennessee 38321

Jack, Dude,

I am in trouble here. You gotta help me out. I came to the OWS looking to score some good drugs and maybe some slide time with one of the cleaner chicks. Some how I was outed as a Ivy League trained history and English major and was drafted to write our demands. Some of the people here are unbalanced.

We had a meeting of a steering committee and a fellow who goes by the moniker, "Whack Job", aptly because he masturbates every two hours is demanding free physical therapy for those like him. His right arm dwarfs his left. Thank God he did not want me to shake his hand!

One chick on the steering committee, who sports the thickest and greasiest curly hair I have ever seen, demanded the end of the internal combustion engine, and we go back to a family farm based economy. I suggested she wash her mop and she got all indignant and said she did once a quarter and I should just mind my own business. I think the EPA has been snooping around and may declare her head a toxic waste site.

A fellow they call Stone wanted more access to skate board parks, said if we could legislate handicap access, it would be just one small step further to demand all public buildings become board use friendly. He said it is a logical transition from skate board extreme to wheelchair bound so why not merge the two functions.

Windy, who flew out to New York from Bolder, Colorado, sports a killer set of knockers, and demands minority status to young women with perfect teats. She feels oppressed by her gift of as she refers to them," a matched set made in heaven." She would like to be taken seriously for her mind, and I was guilty of not hearing a word she said once I got a good look at that magnificent cleavage! I knew who I was going to spend the rest of the day with. Turns out she is a lesbian, told me she did not like men, and I told her we had that in common, but it got me nowhere man.

One dude, they call Rhino, tried to demand limited government, lower taxes, rule of law and recognition that the Bill of Rights is undeniable. He was shown the door.

Then the faces, breasts, smells, breath and voices all seemed to melt together in a cacophony of sights and sounds, bits of which I record below in no particular order of relevance:

1: 20 hour work week

2: Free Universal health care

3: Living wage

4. legalize all drugs

5: outlaw all family transfers of wealth established trust funds excluded

6: 100% estate tax at death

7: free college tuition for life and pay living wage to college students

8: free beer and pizza for life

9: peace on earth

10: mandatory euthanasia for people over 45

11: free travel

12; free energy

13: free food

14: 6 months paid vacation a year

15: flexible work schedule

16: free housing

17: free phones and Internet

18: no taxes on people under 30

Jack, I need some help! Throw me a bone! I think I just stepped in some dog poop. Oh, man there are no dogs at this park.
I gotta get out of here.

Leif

My reply:

Send photo of Windy's rack. I will get to work on a list of demands as soon as I get the pics.

Do not touch "Whack Job" in the mean time!

Later Dude,

Jackson Delano Maybolt Proud Sponsor of Occupy Wall Street, the Cedar Grove Branch

Thursday, October 13, 2011

George Soros Fronts Occupy Wall Street

George Soros is not accustomed to disrespect. I have googled his investments in Lehman Brothers in 2008 and find he had upped his holdings to 9.5 million shares in June of that year. Did he believe the Fed would pay to keep Lehman solvent as they did with almost every other banking entity that fall?

Could George Bush's input have stopped the bailout of the Lehman Bros. company since Soros had invested heavily in Bush's defeat in the 2004 election? No way to know now. Curious how that was the only large investment bank to slide down into bankruptcy.

I have no way of knowing if George Soros rode the Lehman train all the way to bankruptcy, but what better way to get even with a bunch of coddled traders than turn out the unwashed hordes upon them!

George is a petulant man.

Revenge is best served up cold.

"Revenge is mine!" Saith the Lord, ditto George Soros.

The Occupy Wall Street movement is as much like the Tea Party Movement as Barack Obama is to Herman Cain. OWS and Obama are phony, whereas the Tea PM and Cain are genuine!

The price for my silence has just risen from $45 to $79 plus tax. I need to buy my automobile tags this month! Have Van Jones write me a check out of his green funds,
or ask the Solyndra CFO to send me a check out of the $537 million in DOE backed loans. Better yet, get Eric Holder to send me one of the Fast and Furious assault rifles and I can raffle it at the bingo parlor.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Eric Holder At Justice(For Now) Foils Real Assassination Plots,UPLC Skeptical

In a classic Washington, DC moment of "look e here!" Eric Holder, the embattled US attorney general under Obama, has announced his crack team has thwarted an assassination attempt against the Ambassador to the US from Saudi Arabia, and bomb attacks against both the Saudi and the Israeli embassies.

In a statement released just moments ago from the DOJ Headquarters Holder is quoted as saying: "This is a real bust and I am proud of our people in both the FBI and at the CIA for their fast and furious work in breaking the back of this conspiracy from Iran. Really, this is a real bust!"

The Iranian Ambassador to the United Nations, rolled his eyes toward Mecca when he first learned of Holder's announcement.

"We know we cannot trust anything that comes out of this administrations Department of Justice. The Obama administration has played fast and furious with the truth! The record will show we are innocent of these charges!"

The Urban Poverty Law Center is reserving judgement on this one as it seems to come too closely on the heels of the assault rifle Arizona to Mexican drug cartel attack against the United States Constitution and the Second Amendment.

In one sense it would be a relief if it was only the Iranians involved as they are much less likely to get anything rammed through congress if they should really attack embassies here in the US, unlike Obama and Holder and the one world order flunkies.

It is as the famous former Obama adviser, now mayor of Chicagoistan, Rahm Emanuel, so famously put it: "Never let a crisis go to waste!" And its unspoken corollary, "Never wait for a crisis when you can manufacture one."

Nice try Eric, but the Iranians have plausible deny ability when you have made the accusations. Credibility is worth its weight in gold when one has lost it. Yours is gone. And you should follow your credibility out the door to K Street and the millions of dollars you can rake in lobbying.

Resign, you are ineffective.

Your reign of error is over.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center