President Barack H. Obama probably owes his life and therefore his presidency to the difficulty of obtaining an abortion in pre Roe v Wade America. Even though a few states including Hawaii liberalized the abortion laws in 1970, it was not until the above case was ruled upon in 1973 that a woman's right to choose life or death for her unborn child was guaranteed.
I posit if abortion on demand had been the law of the land when 17 yr old Ann Dunham hooked up, after Russian Language Studies class(Screams CIA), with 21 yr old Barack Hussein Obama Sr in 1960, B H Obama, Jr could have ended up in a landfill in Hawaii.
Where his essence, tragically cut short, could have been consumed by any of a thousand Laughing Sea Gulls. And he was gobbled down by a special seagull who was mourning the loss of one of her three goslings who got to close to the edge of the nest and this is where the facts get muddled because he was either pushed or fell to his death. She was a good mother.
From the landfill it is a short flight over a mountain range to her nest near Waimea Bay. As the gull flew high over the ocean, the fetal remains of our 44th president made its way to the gull's cloaca which serves as the septic tank for all birds and is conveniently located under the tail. The fetus Obama, remarkable even aborted, in a display of Herculean bravado, was able to pry open the sea gull's c-hole.
Obama audibly gasped when he looked down at the water below and asked the gull who noticed tiny Obama peaking out of her cloaca, "Say Bird, how high above the water do you suppose we are?"
The gull looked with one eye, then cocked her head to view the ocean with the other eye and replied, "I suppose about a mile."
To which Obama, the fetus, hastily challenges the gull with, "Y y yo you wouldn't sh sh sh sha shit me, would you?"
And the sea gull took the remarkable fetus Obama back to her nest and raised him with her two goslings and when he was three yrs old she gave him back to Ann Dunham. I believe this is why this man had such a hard time producing a believable birth certificate.
Hey, the founders of Rome, Romulus and Mitt Romney, were raised by a she-wolf. It could happen. It is just as believable as the real story reported below:
Instead this blob of cells, produced by the union of these two young lovers, who may or may not have been under the influence of alcohol, took the required actions for two minutes or less if Ann was a moaner, to facilitate the introduction of one special sperm into one remarkable ova; I repeat, this parasitic blob of cells was allowed to finish its mission in utero and Ann Dunham pushed out the now famous 44th president of the United States in a hospital somewhere in Hawaii, it is rumored.
Since Roe v Wade, millions and millions of little Baracks and Barackettes have been cheated of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in our nation. Yes, some of these snuffed out lifelettes would have chosen a path of crime, but somebody's got to step up to the plate and run for congress. Narcissistic, self-serving, sociopaths aren't born everyday, thanks to abortion, you know.
I wonder what great works of art or letters or inventions have been lost by our culture of war against the conceived, and as yet unborn? Perhaps the one who was to break the code for the attack on the World Trade Towers and prevent this horrendous event was aborted in 1974 in Chicago.
Maybe, just maybe, one abortee in San Francisco in 1982 was going to find a cure for Aids. What about that one aborted in 1975 who was to blow the whistle on Bernie Madhoff before he could swindle millions from his investors.
In a more serious note I am grateful the punk who would have crashed into me in 1999 on his moped, killing both me and my dog instantly, while hyped up on cocaine and Jack Daniels was instead aborted in August of 1980. Well, that is not quite true. I was killed instantly, but the dog's back was broken and the sheriff, Tom Snackadoodle, shot "Microsoft" in the head with his service revolver soon after he arrived at the scene. The kid who struck us didn't have a scratch on him.
And no Microsoft was not named after the software company, he was the runt of the litter and his fur was very soft. We do not put on airs here in the South. Any yankee will tell you we ain't near that clever. Uh-huah, uh-hunh!
The only reason a Southern Writer ever gets published is so the yankee critics can laugh at what a moron he/she is! It is an affirmative action program run by the yankee publishing houses. They know some people like shitty literature.
"Byron, I do believe old John Grisham dangled a few participles in his last tome. Care to join me at the bath house this afternoon?"
"Jonathan, you know I can not resist you! And yes I do believe Mr. Grisham almost had a believable plot this time. Ha, ha, ha, ahha!"
I guess what I have to say is I have no beef with abortion after all. It must be God's will.
Isn't everything?
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
"Jack, was the dog sharing his blow with you and packing heat?" Mother Maybolt, 1928-2008
Post Script: My private investigator has informed me Obama's mother Gull is still alive and is living in a hut near the metropolitan landfill in Honolulu. She has her own secret service detail at a cost to taxpayers of several millions of dollars each year. JDM
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