Things are heating up in Iran. The Mullahs have instructed their charges, the irritable Iranian students, to trash the UK Embassy in Tehran. They charged in and broke a few things, burning a car or two, but interestingly missing was the hostage taking we saw all those years ago when these rebel's grand dads seized the American Embassy hostages and made President Jimmy Carter twist and turn for 444 days until President-elect Ronald Reagan's greetings to the mad Mullahs caused such a panic in Tehran, the plane containing the American hostages could not leave the tarmac too soon on inaugural day, 1981.
Perhaps Margaret Thatcher can share with David Cameron Reagan's words which were so effectively used to free the American hostages, as I believe President Reagan would have shared them with her. Then PM Cameron can put these words in his play book to pull out and dust off and use at the appropriate time.
Probably the best policy is to wait, but pull all your diplomats out of Iran before the war. It seems to be coming soon to an Imman near them. Loud explosions have rocked weapons depots in Iran and the shooting hasn't even officially started.
I believe things will light up in Iran on the next new moon. Darkness is our friend.
Iran has pissed us off before, backing the marine barracks bomber in Lebanon, developing IED's in Iraq, and helping the insurgents in Iraq. Now they want to light off a nuc over our mainland, causing all our electronic gizmos to fry and become useless.
Cars, computers, Barney Franks programmable sex toys all destroyed by a powerful electromagnetic pulse (EMP) generated by the poof of a moderate sizes nuclear warhead at precisely 92,383ft above sea level for maximum effect. Wiping out our electrical grids. No power for months, maybe years. Hello stone age. Hello cold shower. Hold on to those horses, they may make a come back!
An explosion here against the ionosphere and the heliosphere would cause the EMP generated to compress and expand the heliosphere, the earth's magnetic field which protects us from harmful particle/rays which spew outward from our old global warmer, the sun. The heliosphere is our protective layer against space trash.
A day without the heliosphere would cook us all and those who managed to survive would sound and look a lot like Congressman Barney Frank, D. Mass.
At the time of the explosion in the outer atmosphere, the EMP would compress and spread out along the heliosphere and the theory is the EMP wave would garner energy from this outward compression of the magnetic field and when it sprang back into shape the EMP would launch earthward and be many fold more powerful and cause a small rent in the heliosphere and allow all sorts of nasties from outer space the freedom to rain down on us and spoil our virgin lands and enter our personal protoplasmic spaces.
X-rays, gamma rays, microwaves, basically cosmic excrement would come flooding into our pristine living space! Ouch that is gonna hurt. Thirty seconds of microwaves will boil the aqueous humor in your eyes. Seven seconds of these destructive waves will cause thick cataracts. Thirteen milliseconds of gamma rays will cook your bone marrow. If you are not shitting blood in 24 hrs you will be 36 hrs after the gammas hit. You will puke and shit yourself to death and your last thought will be:
I hope the IRS got that last quarterly payment. I wonder if my congressman will survive this? Will I get dunned at work for missing today?
Hey, I do not like to be the bearer of bad news, but as usual I am. Now, as a disclaimer: I made all that shit up. None of it is true. Or is it? You be the judge. I am still in the Huntingdon Animal Clinic where I transcribed the above just as it was told me by "Buster" the American Bull Dog, who is in for neutering.
He is the liar, here! See, you can't blame me as I am "just not right" as they are fond of saying around these parts.
Jackson Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
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