Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Urban Poverty Law Center Reviews Ford Mustang Shelby GT 500

Shelby GT 500 Mustang. Built around a 5.4 litre 550 horse power supercharged power plant. These engines are assembled by a couple of fellows who sign the engine ID plate. Mine is signed by the team of illegible and illegible, probably the best Ford Motor Company employees ever! I salute these dedicated workers who built this dream machine that is more than a car, it is art!

The race red beauty arrived by truck from the Michigan plant yesterday at about 4 pm. It has the narrow twin white racing stripes that bisect the car into a right and a left side or more appropriately driver's and passenger's sides. The functional front apron and the rear air spoil add to the artistic aesthetics and keep the air flowing around the car at high speeds and help stabilize it's ample rear by forcing down ward pressure on tires that scream to break free of the sticky bonds of friction whenever the supercharger powers up!

The black leather Ricaro seats with twin white leather seat inserts wrap around both driver and front passenger like your mother's womb securing your backside and flanks thereby preventing any slippage as this machine takes you from zero to awesome in 4.4 seconds. The over sized brembo brakes can get you back from awesome to zero in about 104 feet.

The first thing you notice when you turn the key is the chipping for the start is a deep guttural tone of a race car that revs instantly to about 2000 rpms and quickly fades to a rich idle of about 850 to 900 rpms. The start cries out for attention and every man and boy within earshot answers the cry with that look..... "Someday, after I get a job and the kids are out of college and if the wife strokes out just a little, not so much as to be useless during sex or the house chores, but just enough not to know the difference between a Dodge Caravan and that, I am going to get me one!"

The gearbox is topped off by a white cue ball shifter with a short throw H and a half pattern. Shifting up you notice the genius of the Ford engineers. First and second require slight pressure towards the drivers knee, third is natural and from neutral towards the radio stack, fourth is effortless and back towards the cup holders, and fifth requires a slight amount of pressure towards the passengers left knee, then the sixth gear, an overdrive gear requires a consciously slight amount of pressure towards the passengers hip. The transmission begs to fall from fifth to fourth when pulled back. So when that pesky Camaro challenges the Shelby GT 500 at highway speeds it is simple to slip it into fourth and choose third straight forward and step on the accelerator, then its "hold my beer and watch this" time!

From 55 to 110mph is only a few seconds away. I only guess the speed because you do not have a chance to even glance down at the gauges as things are happening too quickly. All your attention must be focused on the road ahead which too quickly becomes the road behind in the Ford Shelby GT 500. The Tennessee Highway Patrolman was kind enough to confirm my suspicions. The car is a ticket magnet. I tried to explain I had mistimed my shift from third to fourth by 3.5 seconds while texting my friend about this wonderful car and I was up to 110 before I even realized it. Sorry Trooper.

He let me go with a warning ticket, after I posted $500 bail. The hearing before the Judge is scheduled for January 20, 2012.

Even with traction control the Ford Shelby GT 500 is a three speed racer. To me, a nearly 60 yr old male with half or less stores of testosterone and arteries clogged by years of greasy cheeseburger driven hyped up cholesterol levels with a spattering of untreated essential hypertension the first two gears are to get the car moving down the road. Any hint of supercharging in these gears especially first in my hands tends to prompt the rear end of the car to scream, "Move over Grandma, I am passing you." It is as though the back wheels do not know the front of the car is even there or is a consideration.

I learned this the first time I punched it going about 30 mph in second on dry pavement and when the supercharger hit 10 psi the rear end tried to pass on my right. Only my lightning reflexes egged along by my reflexive explosive diarrheal cramping pulled my foot off the accelerator timely enough to avert leaving the road at 60 to destinations unknown! And yes traction control was in the engaged mode. I will leave reviews of the car off traction mode to a younger man in possession of taut sphincters and steady nerves.

Economy: The sticker boasts 16 mpg city and 23 mpg highway. Driving like the old man, that I am, I have eked out only 20.7 mpg burning 92 octane pure gasoline, not any alcohol for this baby. Maybe after break-in it will loosen up and achieve the 23 mpg boasted on the sticker. There was no gas guzzler tax. Apparently Ford got to some EPA official with a bribe, perhaps a GT 500?

This car has the SVT performance package, what ever that is and the HID headlights which are vital to driving at night to allow you to at least catch a glimpse of that deer before it commits suicide by running out from the trees directly into your path. In my view, no amount of counseling will prevent this end result in a deer who is intent on hurting his or herself. Monies spent on wildlife counselors is wasted.

Criticism: Hey Ford, you need a heads up display of the instrument gauges!

Praise: Hey Ford, nice job combining performance and art! The 2012 Shelby GT 500 is both!

Jackson Delano Maybolt, Urban Poverty Law Center

1 comment:

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