I was up late last night and decided to phone in on one of those 1800 numbers for singles and I spoke to a young lady, young sounding voice anyway, who told me she was involved in the current Herman Cain sex imbroglio.
I will try to protect her identity, but Foxy, assured me I could use her real name in my report which follows:
Foxy Merivether, is a retired restaurateur from Atlanta, Ga. She was born in Valdosta, Ga in 1961 to an unwed 20 yr old mother who had hooked up with a red-headed presidential candidate earlier the previous year, who went on to become president. I will try to protect this man's reputation since he is no longer here and can not be expected to voice any opinion as to the merits of the facts as presented as is the custom after one has been killed by an assassin's bullet in Dallas, Texas. I will not say which early sixties year this sad event took place, as I fear I have said to much already. I can say that John Connolly and and his wife were with the president when he was tragically struck down by bullets fired from the Texas School Book Depository building by Mr. Oswald. But that is all I can disclose until the seal is lifted off the Warren Commissions report in 43 more years.
We will all just have to be patient and wait just a little while longer.
Ms. Merivether says she was on the board of the George Restaurant Association when Herman Cain was its chairman. She was a mid-thirties single mom trying to raise three young children on a single salary and the extra cash from the Association came in handy, especially around Christmas, and children's braces and all that.
She said she had a cordial relationship with Mr. Cain, but when they were alone, she felt he was undressing her with his eyes, and he continually stared at her cleavage, and would ask her to join him in prayer where she would kneel in front of him and close her eyes. It was during one of these prayer sessions when she felt he had made an sexual gesture. She heard what she was certain was a polyester zipper, first unzip, and since she and Herman were the only two in the room she knew he was doing it. She slowly opened her eyes to see him turn quickly and adjust something large below his belt line. He never turned back to face her but quickly exited the room the two were sharing. As he left she heard him utter a faint, "Amen!"
During the investigation Ms. Merivether said Herman said when he knelt his polyester pants which had become a bit too snug because of all the eating out traveling on Restaurant Association business entails, had a wardrobe malfunction and that was the unzipping she had heard. He stood and turned to fix his problem, and had to leave since he had not packed enough briefs and was going "commando" that day, which only added to his misfortune. Herman Cain wears underwear. That is his habit, that is what he does.
I contacted the Herman Cain campaign and got in touch with a low level aid who confirmed my reporting. I only hope this helps.
The campaign assures me the Cain wardrobe has been expunged of the cheap polyester zippers. Herman Cain is a man who will not be fooled twice!
I find the story to be completely believable, especially the part about the former president who fathered Foxy!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
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