Apparently, gasoline is not the only substance made less effective by the addition of ethanol, CH3CH2OH, or C2H6O for you chemists. Testosterone is converted into testosterol with the addition of even small quantities of alcohol. It clouds ones judgement and makes even the homeliest maiden appear to be a beauty queen suitable for breeding.
I have heard all my life the following truism, which is I believe, a quote from Mother Teressa: "Were it not for alcohol and parties, none of us would have been born." Sometimes the only way the sexes can tolerate one another is through that old magic called the totty!
If you do not believe me, take a trip to Wal-mart and look at some of the hags who are dragging two or three little children around. Check the shopping cart, there will be some beer in every one of them. Old men need viagra, and young men saddled with human hogzillas require alcohol. God invented alcohol so even the ugliest women would procreate.
I would invite Stephen Hawkin to argue against the existence of God with what I have just disclosed. No amount of chin drool or staring out at the world through that large right eye will convince me otherwise.
I quote Herman Cain's accuser, Sharon Bialek, of Chicago. She had a pediatrician boyfriend 15 yrs ago when she alleges Herman Cain, in the car, "placed his hands under my dress and reached for my genitals (why does Ms. Bialek have more than one genital, is she an hermaphrodite?) and with his third hand? tried to pull my head towards his crotch."
Admittedly, it has been a time since I was with a woman in a car, but I was never nimble enough to reach for the hair trap with more than one hand, and to have to pull the object of my attention toward my crotch rocket by the head, while maintaining my grope on the honey pot, I would have to fold the poor darling nearly in half.
Finally, gentlemen, and I do use the term loosely, it is called foreplay, and romance. For God's sake. Kiss them first, if they recoil and rebuff your move, save yourself the humiliation and take her home. Do not be fooled into thinking if I can just fold this one in half by the crotch and the head, she will come to like me as much as I like myself.
There is a hogzilla out there for everybody. Get yourself a six pack of beer. Happy hunting my sons! Take it slow and easy.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, Smarter and better looking than Stephen Hawkin after a shower, president, Urban Poverty Law Center
No comments:
Post a Comment