blogosphereons: The World Wonders and Waits
I have been fortunate to have met and befriended many interesting people in my lifetime.
Many were my teachers while in school. I have most recently been in contact with a fellow who when in his late 20's was a middle school football coach and science teacher. He was a no nonsense teacher who was an iron fisted disciplinarian not unusual for late 1960's southern
school systems. He is now retired and is 70 yrs old. He says I am too fat and will soon die
dragged to a premature death my my large girth. "Nothing worse than over eating!" he says.
Guilty.
Each athletic coach had a wooden paddle with a nickname like baby, or the stinger, or the butt-thwacker, and in those days, the coaches were eager to dole out the swats to any youngster who crossed the line. Punishment was swift and public and full of humiliation when you were chosen for the public paddling in front of the class, which included the girl you were trying to impress, when you were noted to have water falling like rain from your eyes after the butt-thwacker had its way with your behind. The horrors!
Anyway, I last saw Coach W in 1967 when he left teaching because it was becoming "bullcrap" as the teaching was taking a back seat, even back then, to social correctness. He was ahead of his time as they say. He left for a career in the pharmaceutical's industry and did well. Just by chance we ran into each other last year.
We shot the shit for a couple of hours and he learned that I have a great number of nephews and nieces and wondered if I might want his wife's 1992 740 Volvo wagon which she purchased as a new car. It had a few niggling problems, but the price was right and I bought it. He also said she had a 1972 Mustang convertible stored the past 10 years in her father's garage in Memphis and would I like to see it and perhaps bid on it. Yes.
He called me a week ago Friday and said he was ready to take me down to Memphis to see about the mustang. I got ready and picked up my mechanic, Larry Simmons, and we met Coach in Milan Tn where I got in the car with Coach and Larry and his son followed in the Volvo with the barest minimum of tools in the back of the car. He asked if they planned to drive the Volvo to Memphis and wondered if it was a good idea.
I reassured him that Larry had worked out all the problems the car had for about 15 cents and he groaned, "I cain't tell my wife that. I am gonna have to tell her we stopped three times to put fluid in that car on the way down."
En route, coach told me how a "mustang man" had come down to look at the car and appraise it and told them as the car sat, it would command a fair value of from 1 to 3 thousand dollars and offered them $2500 for the car. I was now thinking if the car had any attractiveness at all I was a player even on my meager retirement and disability income. We spoke of our beliefs and spirituality and he must have read that I have a belief in the supernatural for what he did the next time I saw him is by far the best I have ever seen.
But first the mustang: We got to his father-in-laws home which was vacant since his entering a nursing home a couple of years ago because of dementia, and when he opened the garage, the 1972 mustang , screamed to me, "buy me or you will be sorry!" because it was original as can be for that year of car, only the radio had been swapped out. Still original interior, top, and paint. All the car needs to be a serious driver is a paint job and a radio. I asked what his wife wanted for the car and he said "What's your offer?"
"Well, what does she want for it?"
"What's your offer?" Voiced more firmly by Coach W.
"I can give her $3,100." I said.
He got on the phone and spoke briefly with his wife and said, "Sold! Now how are you gonna get it home?"
I looked at Larry and said, "We are gonna drive this sombitch home."
"Naw, you ain't gonna drive this, it hasn't been driven in over 10 yrs." Coach W said.
"Watch us."
Larry had to take the front passenger wheel and the brake drum off as it was frozen and locked in place by brake dust. He and his son dragged it out of the garage into the sunlight in Memphis and started going over it as Coach and I headed out to get air for the tires, brake fluid, and gasoline and a battery for my new purchase. Coach stopped at McD's for a burger, and by the time we got back the car was ready to be cranked. Larry put the battery in the car and I poured 5 gallons of gasoline in the tank. Larry poured gasoline in the carburetor and I got in the car and turned the key.
I was delighted when it fired up and ran for a few seconds. More gas in the carb and it fired three more times, on the fourth fire up it had gas coming to the carb from the tank as the small piece of hose that joined the fuel line and the carb was leaking furiously. Larry scavenged a small piece of fuel line from another car in the garage and we were off and running. I put the car in reverse and let out on the clutch and we headed back to Cedar Grove. The car drove beautifully. We arrived at Larry's shop and tucked it in for the night. Coach W said I was the luckiest man he had ever met. That was then, this is now.
My VW stopped on the corner of hwy 73 and Mt Pelia Rd yesterday am at about 7. I was working under the hood when Coach W. spotted me and pulled his truck in beside my car and asked if I needed a ride. I got in and he took me to the auto parts store for a new filter. He told me his past weeks dealings and I will try to report it just as he told it to me.
"Jacky, I have been to Memphis three times this week, I have put 357 miles on this truck. We had to bury my father-in-law. The nurses at the nursing home said he got restless last Friday evening, and though he has not spoken an intelligent word in 4 months now, they say he sat bolt upright in his bed and declared: "Someone's stolen the mustang! And bad luck is a coming for him." After which he fell back dead in the bed."
I am sure I turned pale in that truck when I heard this. I implored; "Coach, you gotta be shitting me?"
"Naw Jacky, I swear to God, that is what he said. You don't need to worry about that. He was just a sick demented old man."
I pondered more, sick demented, but how could he know about the sale of the mustang?
I continued, "Coach are you sure he said just that?
"Yep."
"Well, I think I will drive that mustang over and you can have it back, I do not want a cursed mustang, after all look my car has broken down and I have only had that mustang one week."
"I don't want that mustang back. Besides this ain't bad luck, it is good luck, I found you and am driving you to get your parts. You could be back on the side of the road in the cold looking at that broken down VW."
I got my parts and he dropped me back at my VW, but I was now only thinking of the curse of the 1972 Mustang convertible. I called Coach W back one more time and tried to bring his car back to him, then he laughed a laugh one hears only when one knows one has been had.
"Jacky, I was just messing with you, that old man, he didn't say nothing about that car before he died."
Hell, I am 57 yrs old, and only now do I realize that a teacher is always the teacher and a student is always the student, no matter the age. Coach W. is a master of psychology and messing with your mind. He is a fine fellow.
Jacky Maybolt, Dupe; Urban Poverty Law Center
"Dreams may be the key to the unconscious, but wet dreams are better with consciousness."
Mother Maybolt, 1926-2008
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Balances The Federal Budget
Fellow Workers of The World: What happens when the people hate the government as much as the government hates the people? Answer: Egypt, Lybia, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia, Greece, China, Madison, Wisconsin...................................................
Mandatory spending by our beneficent Federal Potentate and Protectorate was a cool 2.184 trillion dollars. Of these monies 1.448 trillion dollars went to pay for social security, medicare, and medicaid obligations. Add 11billion dollars for disaster relief and 164 billion for interest payments on the debt and all that is left up to ones imagination is the 571 billions in miscellaneous expenses(ME)!
What ever do you suppose the ME include? Twenty-five percent of mandatory spending is not cataloged. My thinking of what happened to the ME:
Phil McCracken, Gay Czar: " Mr. President, word on the street has the military spending on technology that can predict one's sexual preference at 100% certainty. They are calling it, "gaydar.""
President Obama: "Phil, as you know I have repealed "Don't ask don't tell" and now we are under "Do ask and do tell." I knew I could not trust the armed forces to be compliant with this order! What is left in the ME budget?"
Phil: "A little less than 527 billion, sir."
President Obama: "Tag a billion five and get it over to the boys in semi-valley and get them to develop a chip that blocks gaydar and quiffs patchouli oil. Better yet make it an even 2 billion."
Phil: "Mr. President, that is brilliant! Two beautiful birds with one stone! You are likely to raise a lot of campaign cash out there this year. Marvelous!"
President Obama: "That is why I was elected to this office. I am a natural leader. People notice that about me, right away. And Phil, make sure you stress the jobs we created and that these jobs are gay and green.
Phil McCracken: "I can get Steve Jobs on the phone so you can tell him what you want."
President Obama: "Great idea. Let's set it up as a publicity event, you know, have the press listening in on my conversation with Steve."
Break:
Next Day, White House Briefing Room filled with the usual reporters and reporterettes.
President Obama, on phone to Steve Jobs,: "Steve, my man, how is it hanging? Did you get the 2 bill I sent you? "
Steve Jobs: "Yes, Mr. President, sure did."
President Obama: "I know you will use our tax monies wisely. How many jobs do you suppose we have saved or created with this 2 billion dollars?"
Steve Jobs: "Oh, wow. I would have to say.... uh, you caught me off guard here. "
President Obama: "Steve, you are not going to be held to your prediction, just a rough guess, that is all we need."
Steve Jobs: "The fellows in R and D will be first and foremost in the thick, then testing and refinement, and finally production and marketing......7 sixes, carry the eight, divide by 3, let me see here, Mr. President, there will be three jobs saved and two jobs created."
President Obama: "Wow Steve, that is more than I would have guessed! You do great work.
Keep it up. By the way, Michelle wants to know what diet you are following, the weight is melting off you? What's your secret? The world wonders!"
Steve Jobs: "Ah..... smaller portions."
End.
Mandatory Spending 2010 budget:
social security 695 billion
medicare 453 billion
medicaid 290 billion
disaster 11 billion
interest pymt 164 billion
miscellaneous exp 571 billion
Discretionary Spending:
defence 671 billion
dept of education 127 billion
dept of transportation 120.6 billion
dept health and human service 99.2 billion
dept of energy 65 billion
dept of housing and urban develop 61.1 billion
dept of veteran affairs 57.3 billion
dept of state 51.7 billion
homeland security 42.7 billion
dept of agriculture 26 billion
dept of justice 26.5 billion
dept of labor 18.1 billion
dept of commerce 21.7 billion
NASA 19.7 billion
EPA 17.7 billion
Dept of interior 15 billion
dept of treasury 13.6 billion
social security adm 12.7 billion
national science foundation 3.7 billion
corp of engineers 9.7 billion
small business adm 1.4 billion
corps of nature and conservation 1.3 billion
URBAN POVERTY LAW CENTER 0.0 BILLIONS!!!!!!!!!
Note, the Urban Poverty Law Center is not affiliated with the federal budget, not yet anyway, so I can give advice and make recommendations.
cut all discretionary spending by 25%.
Cut medicare payments to hospitals and physicians by 20% but make these payments tax free to the recipients.
Cut miscellaneous expenses by 33%.
total savings employing these tactics: billions and billions.
Fund Urban Poverty Law Center $5,398.52 for this advice.
I believe the congress and all federal workers must take the 33% reduction in pay and benefits until the federal budget is balanced.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD Urban Poverty Law Center
"Ever notice how everybody's goal is either get on disability or find a government job?"
Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
Mandatory spending by our beneficent Federal Potentate and Protectorate was a cool 2.184 trillion dollars. Of these monies 1.448 trillion dollars went to pay for social security, medicare, and medicaid obligations. Add 11billion dollars for disaster relief and 164 billion for interest payments on the debt and all that is left up to ones imagination is the 571 billions in miscellaneous expenses(ME)!
What ever do you suppose the ME include? Twenty-five percent of mandatory spending is not cataloged. My thinking of what happened to the ME:
Phil McCracken, Gay Czar: " Mr. President, word on the street has the military spending on technology that can predict one's sexual preference at 100% certainty. They are calling it, "gaydar.""
President Obama: "Phil, as you know I have repealed "Don't ask don't tell" and now we are under "Do ask and do tell." I knew I could not trust the armed forces to be compliant with this order! What is left in the ME budget?"
Phil: "A little less than 527 billion, sir."
President Obama: "Tag a billion five and get it over to the boys in semi-valley and get them to develop a chip that blocks gaydar and quiffs patchouli oil. Better yet make it an even 2 billion."
Phil: "Mr. President, that is brilliant! Two beautiful birds with one stone! You are likely to raise a lot of campaign cash out there this year. Marvelous!"
President Obama: "That is why I was elected to this office. I am a natural leader. People notice that about me, right away. And Phil, make sure you stress the jobs we created and that these jobs are gay and green.
Phil McCracken: "I can get Steve Jobs on the phone so you can tell him what you want."
President Obama: "Great idea. Let's set it up as a publicity event, you know, have the press listening in on my conversation with Steve."
Break:
Next Day, White House Briefing Room filled with the usual reporters and reporterettes.
President Obama, on phone to Steve Jobs,: "Steve, my man, how is it hanging? Did you get the 2 bill I sent you? "
Steve Jobs: "Yes, Mr. President, sure did."
President Obama: "I know you will use our tax monies wisely. How many jobs do you suppose we have saved or created with this 2 billion dollars?"
Steve Jobs: "Oh, wow. I would have to say.... uh, you caught me off guard here. "
President Obama: "Steve, you are not going to be held to your prediction, just a rough guess, that is all we need."
Steve Jobs: "The fellows in R and D will be first and foremost in the thick, then testing and refinement, and finally production and marketing......7 sixes, carry the eight, divide by 3, let me see here, Mr. President, there will be three jobs saved and two jobs created."
President Obama: "Wow Steve, that is more than I would have guessed! You do great work.
Keep it up. By the way, Michelle wants to know what diet you are following, the weight is melting off you? What's your secret? The world wonders!"
Steve Jobs: "Ah..... smaller portions."
End.
Mandatory Spending 2010 budget:
social security 695 billion
medicare 453 billion
medicaid 290 billion
disaster 11 billion
interest pymt 164 billion
miscellaneous exp 571 billion
Discretionary Spending:
defence 671 billion
dept of education 127 billion
dept of transportation 120.6 billion
dept health and human service 99.2 billion
dept of energy 65 billion
dept of housing and urban develop 61.1 billion
dept of veteran affairs 57.3 billion
dept of state 51.7 billion
homeland security 42.7 billion
dept of agriculture 26 billion
dept of justice 26.5 billion
dept of labor 18.1 billion
dept of commerce 21.7 billion
NASA 19.7 billion
EPA 17.7 billion
Dept of interior 15 billion
dept of treasury 13.6 billion
social security adm 12.7 billion
national science foundation 3.7 billion
corp of engineers 9.7 billion
small business adm 1.4 billion
corps of nature and conservation 1.3 billion
URBAN POVERTY LAW CENTER 0.0 BILLIONS!!!!!!!!!
Note, the Urban Poverty Law Center is not affiliated with the federal budget, not yet anyway, so I can give advice and make recommendations.
cut all discretionary spending by 25%.
Cut medicare payments to hospitals and physicians by 20% but make these payments tax free to the recipients.
Cut miscellaneous expenses by 33%.
total savings employing these tactics: billions and billions.
Fund Urban Poverty Law Center $5,398.52 for this advice.
I believe the congress and all federal workers must take the 33% reduction in pay and benefits until the federal budget is balanced.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD Urban Poverty Law Center
"Ever notice how everybody's goal is either get on disability or find a government job?"
Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Correctly Predicts Worldwide Unrest
People of The World:
I come to praise seizures not to bury him! Am I the only one who thinks Muammar Qaddafi is looking like Jimmy Hendrix in drag? That is one ugly dictator! Please refer back to my end of times article dated 11/9/10 to see that the great banking minds in control have gone to plan A where world strife causes the dollar to rise up from the dead to take its rightful place at the head of the world's currencies, only subservient to GOLD:
G: God's
O: Only
L: Legitimate
D: Dollar
The latest unrest is caused by the manipulation of the weather and the food shortages which ensued. People with empty bellies are not happy people. We have been overfed and stuffed with corn starch laden drinks here in the US for so long we have forgotten what hunger pains really feel like. Over half the kids in the US are too fat to tie their shoes. Some genius decided to keep them from feeling bad by fashioning a shoe that does not need tying. When we were kids we tied our shoes to keep them from coming off our feet while we played. These overstuffed darlings have enough trouble waddling from classroom to classroom and never ran in their lives unless it was to the dinner table.
My proposal for overweight children is to bring back the playground and the monkee bars and the slide and the swing and all the other equipment that has been removed for our children's safety to the point that they can't get physically hurt out on the playground, but this safe playground has been traded for increases in cardiac events in their thirties! They can't keep the calories burned off by walking around like little over-stuffed Michelin men during recess. The schools are not teaching anything of great value other than a revision of history and global warming myths. Make recess half the day for grades 1-6 and a third for 7-9. Make high schoolers only attend class for 4 hours and off the rest of the day to smoke pot and have sex with the teachers.
Next bring back the inedible school lunches I remember as a child. Where have the greens and corn, and Cole slaw, and cauliflower gone? What about that mystery meat in gravy? Now they feed Jr and Sis, pizza and hot dogs, and cheeseburgers and fries. My god, I would have weighed 6,000 lbs if I got to eat that stuff when I was in school.. Stop the breakfast program all together. With food stamps nobody misses meals in the US. Put in a few national days of fasting and bring prayer and paddling back into the schools. Pray for thinner children in school and paddle the fatties until they can tie their shoes!
Take my recommendations to the bank and our children will be thinner and a lot smarter.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Global/ Urban Poverty Law Center
"It is not "Spare the rod and spoil the child." It is "Spoil the rod to spare the child."
You can get another rod and another child for that matter." Mother Maybolt 1924-2008
I come to praise seizures not to bury him! Am I the only one who thinks Muammar Qaddafi is looking like Jimmy Hendrix in drag? That is one ugly dictator! Please refer back to my end of times article dated 11/9/10 to see that the great banking minds in control have gone to plan A where world strife causes the dollar to rise up from the dead to take its rightful place at the head of the world's currencies, only subservient to GOLD:
G: God's
O: Only
L: Legitimate
D: Dollar
The latest unrest is caused by the manipulation of the weather and the food shortages which ensued. People with empty bellies are not happy people. We have been overfed and stuffed with corn starch laden drinks here in the US for so long we have forgotten what hunger pains really feel like. Over half the kids in the US are too fat to tie their shoes. Some genius decided to keep them from feeling bad by fashioning a shoe that does not need tying. When we were kids we tied our shoes to keep them from coming off our feet while we played. These overstuffed darlings have enough trouble waddling from classroom to classroom and never ran in their lives unless it was to the dinner table.
My proposal for overweight children is to bring back the playground and the monkee bars and the slide and the swing and all the other equipment that has been removed for our children's safety to the point that they can't get physically hurt out on the playground, but this safe playground has been traded for increases in cardiac events in their thirties! They can't keep the calories burned off by walking around like little over-stuffed Michelin men during recess. The schools are not teaching anything of great value other than a revision of history and global warming myths. Make recess half the day for grades 1-6 and a third for 7-9. Make high schoolers only attend class for 4 hours and off the rest of the day to smoke pot and have sex with the teachers.
Next bring back the inedible school lunches I remember as a child. Where have the greens and corn, and Cole slaw, and cauliflower gone? What about that mystery meat in gravy? Now they feed Jr and Sis, pizza and hot dogs, and cheeseburgers and fries. My god, I would have weighed 6,000 lbs if I got to eat that stuff when I was in school.. Stop the breakfast program all together. With food stamps nobody misses meals in the US. Put in a few national days of fasting and bring prayer and paddling back into the schools. Pray for thinner children in school and paddle the fatties until they can tie their shoes!
Take my recommendations to the bank and our children will be thinner and a lot smarter.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Global/ Urban Poverty Law Center
"It is not "Spare the rod and spoil the child." It is "Spoil the rod to spare the child."
You can get another rod and another child for that matter." Mother Maybolt 1924-2008
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center on End of Times Policy
Blogosphereons:
I am now completely spooked and disconcerted and out of sorts after listening to George Noory about end times with changes in the earth's magnetic poles, and loss of the ionosphere, solar flares, earthly foreign bodies, the arrival of the brown dwarf star, and earth quakes in my area!!!!!!!
Yikes! I am going to start building my self contained survival apparatus out of Styrofoam and duct tape lined with aluminum foil to protect me from radiation with a years supply of food, water and toilet paper. It would probably be cheaper to just pay up my burial insurance policy and hope that C. Batsell Bateman survives my demise.
Gravity is changing, and so is the magnetic field of the earth. We are doomed. I am going to curl up in bed now and wait for the end.
I am now completely spooked and disconcerted and out of sorts after listening to George Noory about end times with changes in the earth's magnetic poles, and loss of the ionosphere, solar flares, earthly foreign bodies, the arrival of the brown dwarf star, and earth quakes in my area!!!!!!!
Yikes! I am going to start building my self contained survival apparatus out of Styrofoam and duct tape lined with aluminum foil to protect me from radiation with a years supply of food, water and toilet paper. It would probably be cheaper to just pay up my burial insurance policy and hope that C. Batsell Bateman survives my demise.
Gravity is changing, and so is the magnetic field of the earth. We are doomed. I am going to curl up in bed now and wait for the end.
UPLC policy on end of times: Women and children first, man the life boats, prayer, redemption, food storage, run! Save the government workers as they have survival skills far beyond the ordinary man.
After the sun flare burns Assa's wetlands
EPA field worker: "Assa, you know we are going to have to fine you for the destruction of your wetlands."
Assa: "But, mam, the sun shot a flame out for 80 million miles and licked my farm frying everything. I was a victim."
EPA field worker: "Assa, my hands are tied. Section 17, paragraph 3 clearly states the land owner is responsible for protecting all wet lands. My God, look at the beavers cooked beyond recognition. What were you thinking?"
Assa: " I know you have your regulations, but can't you see this was beyond my control, I only had an 8 minute warning and was not able to get my shields in place, but I did turn the water on the sprinkler system on my yard.
EPA field worker: "I am at liberty to give you a 10 percent reduction in your fine if you can pay today. You have 75 acres of wetlands, now all burnt up, at $200/acre less 10% if you could make your check out for $13,500 I will be back next year to see you have reclaimed the wet lands according to our specifications.
Assa: Thank you Miss. You people at the EPA sure do a fine job protecting us. Here is my fine. I am just sorry I was unable to stop this loss. I feel I was a failure as a good steward of the land. God bless.
EPA field worker: Thank you Assa.
More later..........hopefully.
Jack Maybolt, President UPLC
"If it is too good to be true, somebody is going to lose money." Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
More later..........hopefully.
Jack Maybolt, President UPLC
"If it is too good to be true, somebody is going to lose money." Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Cows are People TOO
Susan, my secretary, and I had to go out to check the cows yesterday since Larry had to be in court to see about adopting his grandchildren. It was a beautiful day with a slight breeze from the south and temps in the low 60's F. Larry likes to look at the ones who are ready to calve twice a day and more frequently if a heifer is near. We have pulled about three calves in the past couple of years, only one that was alive.
Well we were met by the majority of the herd who associates us with food, all parties inspected us and after noting no food, went about grazing or lazing about the pasture. Susan and I headed off across the pasture to look at the playpen where all the new calves hang out together with only one momma cow in attendance. As we got close to the playpen, I heard a strange sounding "moo" which came from our east over a small rise. The pitch of the moo changed and was louder than is typical. The majority of the cattle herd was still north of our location and that of the most recent call by 150 yards.
I glanced north to see the herd all sprinting toward the call which was apparently a cry for help. Susan and I went over to investigate. When we got to the site of interest, all the older cows were crowded about a small just born calf and took turns nudging the lifeless calf with their noses trying to lift it up and get it on its feet. The mother of the calf had a bloody snout and pushed in and tried to raise the limp calf and one by one the older cows sniffed and in about 5 minutes they left to do what cows do. It was obvious the calf was dead.
The mother was distraught and began to head butt with another cow. Susan and I did not intervene, we went to my sister's place next door and got the back hoe, drove it to the calf, took two big scoops of earth out of the ground beside the dead calf and scooted it over into the grave and covered it with the earth we had removed. Many of the herd came over to watch.
When we left they sniffed around where the dead calf had lain. That calf was premature, had no fur and was all of about 30 lbs.
I hope we do not have a virus causing abortions. Time will tell. Nothing sadder that a dead calf unless it is a tiny wheelchair in a children's hospital. I can only conclude that cows are in communication with each other and are smarter than many of our leaders in congress. I wonder what our cows think about global warming? I wonder if congress would earmark a grant for me to study this? I will get Susan to apply for a grant.
Jackson D. Maybolt, President
Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"Good fences make good neighbors. Good fences and a loaded gun make super good neighbors!" Mother Maybolt 1925-2008
Well we were met by the majority of the herd who associates us with food, all parties inspected us and after noting no food, went about grazing or lazing about the pasture. Susan and I headed off across the pasture to look at the playpen where all the new calves hang out together with only one momma cow in attendance. As we got close to the playpen, I heard a strange sounding "moo" which came from our east over a small rise. The pitch of the moo changed and was louder than is typical. The majority of the cattle herd was still north of our location and that of the most recent call by 150 yards.
I glanced north to see the herd all sprinting toward the call which was apparently a cry for help. Susan and I went over to investigate. When we got to the site of interest, all the older cows were crowded about a small just born calf and took turns nudging the lifeless calf with their noses trying to lift it up and get it on its feet. The mother of the calf had a bloody snout and pushed in and tried to raise the limp calf and one by one the older cows sniffed and in about 5 minutes they left to do what cows do. It was obvious the calf was dead.
The mother was distraught and began to head butt with another cow. Susan and I did not intervene, we went to my sister's place next door and got the back hoe, drove it to the calf, took two big scoops of earth out of the ground beside the dead calf and scooted it over into the grave and covered it with the earth we had removed. Many of the herd came over to watch.
When we left they sniffed around where the dead calf had lain. That calf was premature, had no fur and was all of about 30 lbs.
I hope we do not have a virus causing abortions. Time will tell. Nothing sadder that a dead calf unless it is a tiny wheelchair in a children's hospital. I can only conclude that cows are in communication with each other and are smarter than many of our leaders in congress. I wonder what our cows think about global warming? I wonder if congress would earmark a grant for me to study this? I will get Susan to apply for a grant.
Jackson D. Maybolt, President
Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"Good fences make good neighbors. Good fences and a loaded gun make super good neighbors!" Mother Maybolt 1925-2008
Monday, February 14, 2011
New UPLC Married Women Workers go home, farm report
Blogosphereons:
Chicken count is now ten. Susan, my secretary, found one of the older dames dead of natural causes. No, not Tysons. My chickens are for eggs only. When they quit laying we keep them in the hen house and yard and let them scratch around and eat like the producers. We are grateful for the nearly 750 eggs the old gal made for us. Bell's cow old number 38 had a calf yesterday. It is a boy! Mother and baby are doing just fine. That is the 61st cow. Three more about to deliver. News when it breaks.
I am an omelet lover. I like a cheese omelet made with sharp cheddar cheese and fresh farm eggs, count 2. I eat an omelet each day. Too much cholesterol you might say? Well cholesterol is a precursor to testosterone, the male sex hormone which is disappearing in our major metropolitan centers along with our native born population. Any connection with our society's preoccupation with longevity and lowering cholesterol and men with finicky pop-ups?
Let me get this straight, I should lower my cholesterol, to lower my risk of heart attack and lower my testosterone levels so my sex drive quits, so I can live the last 8 years of my life drooling on myself in a nursing home? I think the sooner society decides to live life as it was meant, hard and at full speed ahead for as long as the organs will tolerate, and not worry if this or that will be affected by food, smokes, drink or sexual preference, we will be happier and healthier.
Jack, I like chocolate. Then eat chocolate. I really like to smoke cigars, shit man smoke em. I like my steaks rare. Drink the blood off the plate. Jack, I enjoy unprotected intercourse in San Francisco Bath houses. Whoa now. Cover it up man but enjoy. All I am saying is you are going to die sometime in the future if you are not already dead. Live your life to the fullest and consider moderation as your guide so there is a chocolate bar, a cigar, a rare steak or a partner at a San Fran
bath house for the next person. Isn't that what being wealthy is all about? Enjoying your life whatever your situation is at the time?
Unemployment is skyrocketing in our world and in our nation. Goodyear announced it is closing a plant in West Tn this year and 2000 of our neighbors are going to be looking for a job. I am wondering where our new economy is going to lead us. I am wondering if the governments plan of having full employment of both men and women is backfiring. Women have traditionally been homemakers and raised the children. Men were the hunters and providers. Now our women have become educated and entered the workforce to great rewards monetarily, but not so much on the family side.
I am wondering if women became wives and mothers and stayed out of the work force until the babies enter college, a 25 yr commitment if you pump out a kid a year for five years, and only then enter the work force if they want. Would our lives be enriched. Could we get by on one income? Could we get food, clothing and shelter on a man's income alone. If women left the work force for the first 25 yrs and men had to take their places how would that work? Government would necessarily have to down size. Fewer tax payers.
Well I have answered my own question. Women of the world, be feminists. Quit work and have children. Make a home. You are the key to world peace and prosperity. Send stupid out to make the living. He may have to be a hair dresser or a nurse or a teacher or any other traditionally female oriented career, but it will be an honest living.
The answer is right in front of us. Some women will not be able to quit. The government will resist and not want women to leave the work force. This may be the only way to save our country from financial ruin. I will not hold my breath waiting for the women of the United States to go traditional, but someone must think how did we get here, and how can we get out of this?
New Global/Urban Poverty Law Center proposal: With a generous grant from the federal government, pick a community and send the married women home and replace them with unemployed men. Pay the women their salaries through the grant monies tax free for three years and have it taper to zero decreasing by half each year. Sit back and watch the experiment and take notes.
Will this work. Of course, it has worked for a million years. What are the obstacles? A government addicted to tax monies from every able bodied citizen. Citizens who believe material thing make you happy, brain washed by advertisers.
Time for a little work revolt? You bet!
Women Workers of the World unite! Go home to your children and man. They need you and you need them. Work is definitely over rated.
This is so simple, yet brilliant. Jack, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"Possessions are best kept to a minimum." Mother Maybolt 1925-2008
Chicken count is now ten. Susan, my secretary, found one of the older dames dead of natural causes. No, not Tysons. My chickens are for eggs only. When they quit laying we keep them in the hen house and yard and let them scratch around and eat like the producers. We are grateful for the nearly 750 eggs the old gal made for us. Bell's cow old number 38 had a calf yesterday. It is a boy! Mother and baby are doing just fine. That is the 61st cow. Three more about to deliver. News when it breaks.
I am an omelet lover. I like a cheese omelet made with sharp cheddar cheese and fresh farm eggs, count 2. I eat an omelet each day. Too much cholesterol you might say? Well cholesterol is a precursor to testosterone, the male sex hormone which is disappearing in our major metropolitan centers along with our native born population. Any connection with our society's preoccupation with longevity and lowering cholesterol and men with finicky pop-ups?
Let me get this straight, I should lower my cholesterol, to lower my risk of heart attack and lower my testosterone levels so my sex drive quits, so I can live the last 8 years of my life drooling on myself in a nursing home? I think the sooner society decides to live life as it was meant, hard and at full speed ahead for as long as the organs will tolerate, and not worry if this or that will be affected by food, smokes, drink or sexual preference, we will be happier and healthier.
Jack, I like chocolate. Then eat chocolate. I really like to smoke cigars, shit man smoke em. I like my steaks rare. Drink the blood off the plate. Jack, I enjoy unprotected intercourse in San Francisco Bath houses. Whoa now. Cover it up man but enjoy. All I am saying is you are going to die sometime in the future if you are not already dead. Live your life to the fullest and consider moderation as your guide so there is a chocolate bar, a cigar, a rare steak or a partner at a San Fran
bath house for the next person. Isn't that what being wealthy is all about? Enjoying your life whatever your situation is at the time?
Unemployment is skyrocketing in our world and in our nation. Goodyear announced it is closing a plant in West Tn this year and 2000 of our neighbors are going to be looking for a job. I am wondering where our new economy is going to lead us. I am wondering if the governments plan of having full employment of both men and women is backfiring. Women have traditionally been homemakers and raised the children. Men were the hunters and providers. Now our women have become educated and entered the workforce to great rewards monetarily, but not so much on the family side.
I am wondering if women became wives and mothers and stayed out of the work force until the babies enter college, a 25 yr commitment if you pump out a kid a year for five years, and only then enter the work force if they want. Would our lives be enriched. Could we get by on one income? Could we get food, clothing and shelter on a man's income alone. If women left the work force for the first 25 yrs and men had to take their places how would that work? Government would necessarily have to down size. Fewer tax payers.
Well I have answered my own question. Women of the world, be feminists. Quit work and have children. Make a home. You are the key to world peace and prosperity. Send stupid out to make the living. He may have to be a hair dresser or a nurse or a teacher or any other traditionally female oriented career, but it will be an honest living.
The answer is right in front of us. Some women will not be able to quit. The government will resist and not want women to leave the work force. This may be the only way to save our country from financial ruin. I will not hold my breath waiting for the women of the United States to go traditional, but someone must think how did we get here, and how can we get out of this?
New Global/Urban Poverty Law Center proposal: With a generous grant from the federal government, pick a community and send the married women home and replace them with unemployed men. Pay the women their salaries through the grant monies tax free for three years and have it taper to zero decreasing by half each year. Sit back and watch the experiment and take notes.
Will this work. Of course, it has worked for a million years. What are the obstacles? A government addicted to tax monies from every able bodied citizen. Citizens who believe material thing make you happy, brain washed by advertisers.
Time for a little work revolt? You bet!
Women Workers of the World unite! Go home to your children and man. They need you and you need them. Work is definitely over rated.
This is so simple, yet brilliant. Jack, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"Possessions are best kept to a minimum." Mother Maybolt 1925-2008
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Father and Roy in Hollywood
Blogosphereons:
Letters to and from A Son of A Bitch
2 November 1987
Jack,
This finds me in Hollywood across from Gauman's Chinese theater, in the heart of sin-city--Grumman's maybe it was and is now named Mann's so maybe Mr. Mann bought it, anyhow I had a sumptuous breakfast at Burger King and bought the newspapers and will in a short while go to see tiny tits and the Bronx flash and see about getting my expense check. They must think I am a big rich Southerner. I am hoping the receipts from Burger King and even cheaper places if I can locate them will bring them to the conclusion that I need my money.
The flight out was very long and boring seated between a Japanese girl and a man wearing jeans and a moustache reading an Alastair McLean novel and drinking water. The Jap miss did not eat or drink anything or say anything but something in Japanese that sounded like "Oink-Oink," to which I replied Moshe-moshe a-noney-ah so desca, which I think means just a moment if you please, ah, yes thank you, at which she turned her face to the window and seemed to quit breathing for about an hour.
So I had my flask of Jack Daniels in my breast pocket of my Brooks Brothers jacket and so I ordered some club soda and the waitress brought me 7-up but I was lucky and tasted it and rang the alarm that lands the plane and ejects the pilots and she came and asked what the matter was and I said you dunce, you drab, you baggage, you gave me 7-up and I asted you plain fer CLUB SODY! So she put off the light and the plane came out of the dive and the pilots were reintroduced to the cockpit and she brought the club soda with apologies and peanuts and I poured in some Jack Daniels and enjoyed the company of my flask--all the company there was to be had between Mademoiselle Butterfly and Mr. Reader.
ROY MET me at the airport and we talked about his wrecks and nearly had another one the way there when some motorcycles Roy did not think were important nearly hit us as he pulled squarely out in front of them while talking about Greg B. who died yesterday of a heart throbber at age 73 and was at death head of an office with 129 lawyers in it and whango the motorcycles nearly swat us and then some cars Roy had not considered nearly got us and he said: "I knew a guy once that was killed when a motorcycle hit his car on the driver's side. He was no great loss. It was a good thing when he died. I didn't like him nobody really liked him." "Who was he?"
Roy never answered, just changed the subject and we pulled in around behind this hotel which has been cleaned up some and the man we thought was the doorman turned out to be a parking valet and Roy kept trying to tell him to take the bags and boxes out of the car and he kept saying no but he would park it and Roy kept saying: "God
damn it, take the bags out first, don't park it with the bags in--"
So finally, Roy and I unloaded the car, the valet parker being too good for such work and then when the valet parker tried to park the car Roy said: "Fuck, I will park on the street." And so the valet got the claim check back from me and Roy went and parked on the street. I could hear the tires screeching and the horns blowing while he was about this and did not look but just adamantly faced elsewhere and finally we got to the check in desk and they said my room was paid for but they need my credit card for "incidentals" and since the production company already owes me about two grand after Mobile and ain't ponied up as yet. So I said well I do not need a phone or any incidentals and the desk clerk said but you should be grateful after all they are paying your hotel room rent and I said, asshole, desk clerks do not rebuke me, you keep out of this it is these Hollywood tycoons that want to borrow my money to run their business. "Did you say tycoons?" he said. "I meant shitheads!" "Excuse me, shitheads?" He said: "I will not wait on you." I said: "Now things are looking up at last."
A woman came extra polite and checked me in and at Roy's urging I gave up my credit card and got a phone after all.
Love,
Old Man
My father was hired by a Hollywood producer to give advice on a movie about carnival life. I forget the name of the movie. I think it really didn't work out for him. In later letters he never got paid what they promised.
12 February 2011
Dear Dad,
I am glad you and Roy made it safely to the hotel and were able to check in.
Was the Japanese girl pretty?
Love
your son, Jack.
Jackson Delano Maybolt,
Urban/Global Poverty Law Center
Letters to and from A Son of A Bitch
2 November 1987
Jack,
This finds me in Hollywood across from Gauman's Chinese theater, in the heart of sin-city--Grumman's maybe it was and is now named Mann's so maybe Mr. Mann bought it, anyhow I had a sumptuous breakfast at Burger King and bought the newspapers and will in a short while go to see tiny tits and the Bronx flash and see about getting my expense check. They must think I am a big rich Southerner. I am hoping the receipts from Burger King and even cheaper places if I can locate them will bring them to the conclusion that I need my money.
The flight out was very long and boring seated between a Japanese girl and a man wearing jeans and a moustache reading an Alastair McLean novel and drinking water. The Jap miss did not eat or drink anything or say anything but something in Japanese that sounded like "Oink-Oink," to which I replied Moshe-moshe a-noney-ah so desca, which I think means just a moment if you please, ah, yes thank you, at which she turned her face to the window and seemed to quit breathing for about an hour.
So I had my flask of Jack Daniels in my breast pocket of my Brooks Brothers jacket and so I ordered some club soda and the waitress brought me 7-up but I was lucky and tasted it and rang the alarm that lands the plane and ejects the pilots and she came and asked what the matter was and I said you dunce, you drab, you baggage, you gave me 7-up and I asted you plain fer CLUB SODY! So she put off the light and the plane came out of the dive and the pilots were reintroduced to the cockpit and she brought the club soda with apologies and peanuts and I poured in some Jack Daniels and enjoyed the company of my flask--all the company there was to be had between Mademoiselle Butterfly and Mr. Reader.
ROY MET me at the airport and we talked about his wrecks and nearly had another one the way there when some motorcycles Roy did not think were important nearly hit us as he pulled squarely out in front of them while talking about Greg B. who died yesterday of a heart throbber at age 73 and was at death head of an office with 129 lawyers in it and whango the motorcycles nearly swat us and then some cars Roy had not considered nearly got us and he said: "I knew a guy once that was killed when a motorcycle hit his car on the driver's side. He was no great loss. It was a good thing when he died. I didn't like him nobody really liked him." "Who was he?"
Roy never answered, just changed the subject and we pulled in around behind this hotel which has been cleaned up some and the man we thought was the doorman turned out to be a parking valet and Roy kept trying to tell him to take the bags and boxes out of the car and he kept saying no but he would park it and Roy kept saying: "God
damn it, take the bags out first, don't park it with the bags in--"
So finally, Roy and I unloaded the car, the valet parker being too good for such work and then when the valet parker tried to park the car Roy said: "Fuck, I will park on the street." And so the valet got the claim check back from me and Roy went and parked on the street. I could hear the tires screeching and the horns blowing while he was about this and did not look but just adamantly faced elsewhere and finally we got to the check in desk and they said my room was paid for but they need my credit card for "incidentals" and since the production company already owes me about two grand after Mobile and ain't ponied up as yet. So I said well I do not need a phone or any incidentals and the desk clerk said but you should be grateful after all they are paying your hotel room rent and I said, asshole, desk clerks do not rebuke me, you keep out of this it is these Hollywood tycoons that want to borrow my money to run their business. "Did you say tycoons?" he said. "I meant shitheads!" "Excuse me, shitheads?" He said: "I will not wait on you." I said: "Now things are looking up at last."
A woman came extra polite and checked me in and at Roy's urging I gave up my credit card and got a phone after all.
Love,
Old Man
My father was hired by a Hollywood producer to give advice on a movie about carnival life. I forget the name of the movie. I think it really didn't work out for him. In later letters he never got paid what they promised.
12 February 2011
Dear Dad,
I am glad you and Roy made it safely to the hotel and were able to check in.
Was the Japanese girl pretty?
Love
your son, Jack.
Jackson Delano Maybolt,
Urban/Global Poverty Law Center
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Urban Poverty law Center Policy on Tough Meat
Blogosphereons:
I am frazzled. Albert Gore, Jr my fellow Tennessean, with his funny ideas about global warming has caused some of the coldest temperatures and snowiest days here in West Tennessee. It was 4 degrees F this am when my bladder signaled my sleep was ending. My mind needs eight hours of sleep to feel rested, but my bladder is ready to get up in only six hours. I wish my organs would compromise and split the difference. I feel so tired all the time. Snowed on Monday, about 3 inches in a couple of hours, surprised the school folks and they called school off at 10 am.
My sister, Notill, is younger than me by about 12 yrs. Mother was in the change of life when she was conceived, and Mother thought she was dying with a tumor for several months after she began to swell and throw up. Mama was 49 when Notill was born.
Like all babies in the family, Notill was doted upon and was spoiled from the get-go. I do not think she ever cried and my mother and her mother kept Notill happy by feeding her candy any time she cried out. Notill learned how to get candy at an early age. She was a big baby!
I always hated it when Notill would come into my room. She had the stickiest hands on any little kid I ever seen. Her favorite thing was to slip up on me while I was sleeping and put her sticky little hands all over my face. It was so disgusting! It was as though she washed her hands in maple syrup and let them air dry.
The cats and dogs soon learned to be very wary of Notill. If she ever touched them, she would come back with gobs of fur stuck to her hands. For a while our animals appeared to have the mange, but it was just sweet little Notill being playful. I learned early on to keep my baseball cards safe I had to keep them up in the closet out of reach of Notill.
When she was a toddler my friends and I used to place bets on whether Notill could put something down after she picked it up. We would laugh and laugh as she would study the object we would give her, usually a small piece of paper or a small cut of mother's yarn, while she passed it from sticky finger to sticky finger, hand to hand, and, after losing interest, try to throw it and shake it free only to finally in a fit squat down on the floor and smear it onto the floor. Some times she had to use her foot to peel it off her hand and then she would stand up and triumphantly and ignorantly march away with the object stuck to her foot or shoe. Notill was our video game.
To my great relief and that of the family pets, Notill grew up to be a beautiful young woman, and she graduated from high school and married the Warner boy. They had
three delightful daughters, Harriet, Hilda, and Bob. Notil's husband, Robert, wanted a son so badly, when the third daughter was born with slightly ambiguous genitalia, he went with it and named her Robert Jr.
Bob was raised as a boy in all respects. He played with boy toys, helped his father work on the farm, and became quite the little misogynist. He would talk down to his mother and sisters and strike them if they crossed him. He lifted weights and wrestled in the 125 lb weight class and won state in his senior year. He dated the prettiest cheerleader. He is a Junior at the Ag college in Martin Tennessee and will be returning to work the farm with his daddy after graduation. Still thinks he is a boy. Doc Dalton gives him hormone shots so he don't have a period.
Anyway, I was up with my bladder this am and checked the temp outside, 18 degrees F, a heatwave! Had a new calf night of 4 degrees F. Larry Simmons built it a bed of hay and checked on it yesterday and it was up and feeding off its mother. Cows is tough, especially the ones they make into steaks at Walmart. Shucks, last time I bought a Walmart steak, I had Larry Simmons over and we grilled it and I took a bite and chewed it as much as I could until my jaw started aching, then I passed it over to Larry who has a new set of false teeth and he chewed on it for 10 minutes til he got chest pains and gave up, then we passed it off to the dog who chewed on it for half an hour before he left it in disgust, and I picked it up off the floor and chewed on it for another good 10 minutes and passed over to Simmons for one more try and we finally gave it up and ate our salads. Larry says the cow that steak came from had too much "string". I accepted his explanation, but hate to waste $5 on a chopped steak.
I was pissed off and Larry said we should take it back for a refund. On the way to Walmart, Larry slid his truck off the road and got us stuck. A fellow with a 4x4 pick up came by and offered to pull us out. We didn't have a tow strap, but Larry, who is smart this way, took the chopped steak and cut it in a long thin strip and tied one end of it to our axle and the other to the fellow's hitch and it held and got us pulled out of that snow bank! We was just glad to get out of that snow bank and weren't so upset with the Walmart meat department anymore.
$5 for a bad piece of meat seems criminal, but not a bad price for an indestructible tow strap.
Jackson D. Maybolt, President Global/Urban Poverty Law Centers
"If you are too fat to tie your shoes, buy a pair of loafers, lard-ass." Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
I am frazzled. Albert Gore, Jr my fellow Tennessean, with his funny ideas about global warming has caused some of the coldest temperatures and snowiest days here in West Tennessee. It was 4 degrees F this am when my bladder signaled my sleep was ending. My mind needs eight hours of sleep to feel rested, but my bladder is ready to get up in only six hours. I wish my organs would compromise and split the difference. I feel so tired all the time. Snowed on Monday, about 3 inches in a couple of hours, surprised the school folks and they called school off at 10 am.
My sister, Notill, is younger than me by about 12 yrs. Mother was in the change of life when she was conceived, and Mother thought she was dying with a tumor for several months after she began to swell and throw up. Mama was 49 when Notill was born.
Like all babies in the family, Notill was doted upon and was spoiled from the get-go. I do not think she ever cried and my mother and her mother kept Notill happy by feeding her candy any time she cried out. Notill learned how to get candy at an early age. She was a big baby!
I always hated it when Notill would come into my room. She had the stickiest hands on any little kid I ever seen. Her favorite thing was to slip up on me while I was sleeping and put her sticky little hands all over my face. It was so disgusting! It was as though she washed her hands in maple syrup and let them air dry.
The cats and dogs soon learned to be very wary of Notill. If she ever touched them, she would come back with gobs of fur stuck to her hands. For a while our animals appeared to have the mange, but it was just sweet little Notill being playful. I learned early on to keep my baseball cards safe I had to keep them up in the closet out of reach of Notill.
When she was a toddler my friends and I used to place bets on whether Notill could put something down after she picked it up. We would laugh and laugh as she would study the object we would give her, usually a small piece of paper or a small cut of mother's yarn, while she passed it from sticky finger to sticky finger, hand to hand, and, after losing interest, try to throw it and shake it free only to finally in a fit squat down on the floor and smear it onto the floor. Some times she had to use her foot to peel it off her hand and then she would stand up and triumphantly and ignorantly march away with the object stuck to her foot or shoe. Notill was our video game.
To my great relief and that of the family pets, Notill grew up to be a beautiful young woman, and she graduated from high school and married the Warner boy. They had
three delightful daughters, Harriet, Hilda, and Bob. Notil's husband, Robert, wanted a son so badly, when the third daughter was born with slightly ambiguous genitalia, he went with it and named her Robert Jr.
Bob was raised as a boy in all respects. He played with boy toys, helped his father work on the farm, and became quite the little misogynist. He would talk down to his mother and sisters and strike them if they crossed him. He lifted weights and wrestled in the 125 lb weight class and won state in his senior year. He dated the prettiest cheerleader. He is a Junior at the Ag college in Martin Tennessee and will be returning to work the farm with his daddy after graduation. Still thinks he is a boy. Doc Dalton gives him hormone shots so he don't have a period.
Anyway, I was up with my bladder this am and checked the temp outside, 18 degrees F, a heatwave! Had a new calf night of 4 degrees F. Larry Simmons built it a bed of hay and checked on it yesterday and it was up and feeding off its mother. Cows is tough, especially the ones they make into steaks at Walmart. Shucks, last time I bought a Walmart steak, I had Larry Simmons over and we grilled it and I took a bite and chewed it as much as I could until my jaw started aching, then I passed it over to Larry who has a new set of false teeth and he chewed on it for 10 minutes til he got chest pains and gave up, then we passed it off to the dog who chewed on it for half an hour before he left it in disgust, and I picked it up off the floor and chewed on it for another good 10 minutes and passed over to Simmons for one more try and we finally gave it up and ate our salads. Larry says the cow that steak came from had too much "string". I accepted his explanation, but hate to waste $5 on a chopped steak.
I was pissed off and Larry said we should take it back for a refund. On the way to Walmart, Larry slid his truck off the road and got us stuck. A fellow with a 4x4 pick up came by and offered to pull us out. We didn't have a tow strap, but Larry, who is smart this way, took the chopped steak and cut it in a long thin strip and tied one end of it to our axle and the other to the fellow's hitch and it held and got us pulled out of that snow bank! We was just glad to get out of that snow bank and weren't so upset with the Walmart meat department anymore.
$5 for a bad piece of meat seems criminal, but not a bad price for an indestructible tow strap.
Jackson D. Maybolt, President Global/Urban Poverty Law Centers
"If you are too fat to tie your shoes, buy a pair of loafers, lard-ass." Mother Maybolt, 1921-2008
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center On Cost of War On Terror
Blogosphereons:
World War IV is on and in case you haven't been paying attention, the think tank over at the Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
has been carefully watching the situation and is ready to point out some of our incredible and unique observations. Being a near complete shut-in for years brings with it either genius or insanity. I am too close to my situation to be an impartial critic. I will leave that critical judgement to the historians of the next generation to ferret out.
1: WWIV began in ernst on 11.09.2001 when the box cutters sliced the slice that was felt around the world.
2. The US invades Iraq and Afganistan with WWII mindset tactics against a 21st century freedom fighter who will not be tricked into fighting a conventional "stand your ground and fight like a man" which was so stupidly practiced by the Western World for the last millenium. Great way to kill societies expendable young males, but a hard way to fight in terms of blood losses and treasure expended. Bankers like to finance the hard and expensive fight.
Combat Marine Expenditures on 1 vs Middle Eastern Warrior Expenditures on 1
training $25,000 boot camp vs $1.00
uniform $675 vs $1.00
armor $1,100 vs $0.00
weapon $3,500 vs $50.00
ammunition $250 vs $5.00
travel $47,000 vs $0.50
support $1,600,000 vs $100.00
daily rations $75.00 vs $0.35
medical $15,000 vs $1.78
death benefits $12,500 vs $0.00
leave benefits $1,200 vs $0.00
Pay daily $75.00 vs $0.06
kill costs $12,875,000/freedom fighter vs $1,273.50/ American warrior
interest costs $189,000/ soldier vs $0.00
birth rate/female 2.3 vs 5.6
After studying the above stastics it is my humble opinion our efforts to contain this enemy and fighting in the fashions which we have begun are unsustainable using any accounting methods which are currently acceptable. My recommendation would be to pull back and develop more special ops and a more defensive stance in dealing with the threat from these enemies.
Fighting between a first world power and a third world population can only lower the standard of living for the first world power and raise the standard of living for the third world nation.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Global/ Urban Poverty Law Center
"War is time wasted, treasure squandered, lives ruined, property destroyed, and best viewed from afar." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
World War IV is on and in case you haven't been paying attention, the think tank over at the Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
has been carefully watching the situation and is ready to point out some of our incredible and unique observations. Being a near complete shut-in for years brings with it either genius or insanity. I am too close to my situation to be an impartial critic. I will leave that critical judgement to the historians of the next generation to ferret out.
1: WWIV began in ernst on 11.09.2001 when the box cutters sliced the slice that was felt around the world.
2. The US invades Iraq and Afganistan with WWII mindset tactics against a 21st century freedom fighter who will not be tricked into fighting a conventional "stand your ground and fight like a man" which was so stupidly practiced by the Western World for the last millenium. Great way to kill societies expendable young males, but a hard way to fight in terms of blood losses and treasure expended. Bankers like to finance the hard and expensive fight.
Combat Marine Expenditures on 1 vs Middle Eastern Warrior Expenditures on 1
training $25,000 boot camp vs $1.00
uniform $675 vs $1.00
armor $1,100 vs $0.00
weapon $3,500 vs $50.00
ammunition $250 vs $5.00
travel $47,000 vs $0.50
support $1,600,000 vs $100.00
daily rations $75.00 vs $0.35
medical $15,000 vs $1.78
death benefits $12,500 vs $0.00
leave benefits $1,200 vs $0.00
Pay daily $75.00 vs $0.06
kill costs $12,875,000/freedom fighter vs $1,273.50/ American warrior
interest costs $189,000/ soldier vs $0.00
birth rate/female 2.3 vs 5.6
After studying the above stastics it is my humble opinion our efforts to contain this enemy and fighting in the fashions which we have begun are unsustainable using any accounting methods which are currently acceptable. My recommendation would be to pull back and develop more special ops and a more defensive stance in dealing with the threat from these enemies.
Fighting between a first world power and a third world population can only lower the standard of living for the first world power and raise the standard of living for the third world nation.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Global/ Urban Poverty Law Center
"War is time wasted, treasure squandered, lives ruined, property destroyed, and best viewed from afar." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Purchased by George Soros Funded Group
Blogosphereons:
Imagine my shock to go through the mail for the Urban Poverty Law Center and find a letter from a George Soros funded group, "People Who Color Outside the Box"! In the letter, one of their corporate lawyers, Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq, has ordered me to cease and give up my organization's name as it sounds too similar to his client's "Urbane Poverty Law Centre."
Quite frankly, I do not see the problem as their institution's title is not even close to mine! I think he is on a fishing expedition and wants to buy my UPLC so he can have the coolest think tank name. I have dictated the following letter to Mr.
Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq. if that is his real name:
08,02,2011
Dear Mr. Doubel-Latte:
I refer to your letter dated 21,01,2011 on your fancy Urbane Poverty Law Centre letter head and I reject your inference that my institution which was founded in 1988to help get America's Urban Poor's stories out and help get a dialog between the haves and the have wants started, has stolen in kind your institutes name.
You can ask Carl down at the Cedar Grove store, where I go every morning to get a fried bologna sandwich with light mayonnaise and a coca-cola in a bottle and visit with my colleagues about the integrity of the Urban Poverty Law Center and its long
history of helping our down-trodden brothers and sisters in our blighted population centers all over this great land and now we are taking our efforts globally!
We provide information that is available nowhere else. We pride ourselves with our common sense approach to problem solving and though we haven't a sugar daddy like that old curmudgeon, Horhey Soros, like you folks down at the Urbane Poverty Law Centre, we are doing just fine.
Our budget is a little over $112.52 a month and the greatest majority of that is for Susan Blunderdoss, my secretary. I do give her a dozen farm fresh eggs a week, which raises her wages by about $6 a month, but it is a gift and my accountants, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, LLC assure me that she does not have to declare this on her income taxes.
I believe by the tone of your letter, you think you are so sophisticated and we at the Urban Poverty Law Center are a bunch of rednecks. Well you may be right about that, but you better not be showing your face in these parts in your Gucci shoes and your $300 three piece Italian suits from The Men's Warehouse and your $20 hair styles, likely as not got from a woman's salon, unless you want your hair mussed and your shoes soiled!
I am not one to condone violence, but you have struck a nerve, a raw nerve with me.
The Urban Poverty Law Center is all I have. It is all I think about day in and day out. After the insulting tone of page one of your missive, I see that your organization has offered us a million dollars for the name,........ on page 2 paragraph 3.
Really, Mr. Doubel-Latte, really, a million dollars? Now we have a situation. I will need to consult with counsel about this as this changes everything. I will get back to you, soon.
I am you humble Liege
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center
"Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas. Lie down with dogs and a lawyer and the lawyer will have all the fleas, you and the dog, nothing!" Mother Maybolt 1928-2008
Imagine my shock to go through the mail for the Urban Poverty Law Center and find a letter from a George Soros funded group, "People Who Color Outside the Box"! In the letter, one of their corporate lawyers, Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq, has ordered me to cease and give up my organization's name as it sounds too similar to his client's "Urbane Poverty Law Centre."
Quite frankly, I do not see the problem as their institution's title is not even close to mine! I think he is on a fishing expedition and wants to buy my UPLC so he can have the coolest think tank name. I have dictated the following letter to Mr.
Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq. if that is his real name:
08,02,2011
Dear Mr. Doubel-Latte:
I refer to your letter dated 21,01,2011 on your fancy Urbane Poverty Law Centre letter head and I reject your inference that my institution which was founded in 1988to help get America's Urban Poor's stories out and help get a dialog between the haves and the have wants started, has stolen in kind your institutes name.
You can ask Carl down at the Cedar Grove store, where I go every morning to get a fried bologna sandwich with light mayonnaise and a coca-cola in a bottle and visit with my colleagues about the integrity of the Urban Poverty Law Center and its long
history of helping our down-trodden brothers and sisters in our blighted population centers all over this great land and now we are taking our efforts globally!
We provide information that is available nowhere else. We pride ourselves with our common sense approach to problem solving and though we haven't a sugar daddy like that old curmudgeon, Horhey Soros, like you folks down at the Urbane Poverty Law Centre, we are doing just fine.
Our budget is a little over $112.52 a month and the greatest majority of that is for Susan Blunderdoss, my secretary. I do give her a dozen farm fresh eggs a week, which raises her wages by about $6 a month, but it is a gift and my accountants, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, LLC assure me that she does not have to declare this on her income taxes.
I believe by the tone of your letter, you think you are so sophisticated and we at the Urban Poverty Law Center are a bunch of rednecks. Well you may be right about that, but you better not be showing your face in these parts in your Gucci shoes and your $300 three piece Italian suits from The Men's Warehouse and your $20 hair styles, likely as not got from a woman's salon, unless you want your hair mussed and your shoes soiled!
I am not one to condone violence, but you have struck a nerve, a raw nerve with me.
The Urban Poverty Law Center is all I have. It is all I think about day in and day out. After the insulting tone of page one of your missive, I see that your organization has offered us a million dollars for the name,........ on page 2 paragraph 3.
Really, Mr. Doubel-Latte, really, a million dollars? Now we have a situation. I will need to consult with counsel about this as this changes everything. I will get back to you, soon.
I am you humble Liege
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center
"Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas. Lie down with dogs and a lawyer and the lawyer will have all the fleas, you and the dog, nothing!" Mother Maybolt 1928-2008
Monday, February 7, 2011
Superbowl XLV, Is that all you got?
Blogosphereons:
I don't like to comment on pop culture, but from what I saw of the Super Bowl, it was the worst kind of bread and circuses. Has the entertainment industry gone completely nuts with the reading of the Declaration Of Independence and that flag waving in your face patriotism on display and up until Super Skank Christina Aguilera croaked out her autistic rendition of the Star Spangled Banner I thought the teams were going to get into Nascars and drive around and around the stadium at 200 plus mph for an hour.
Do they think we will not come for them when all this collapses? History will not be kind to those who have destroyed this country, nor will the crowd that gathers them up to mete out the punishments. I will not participate, but like the fellow who lives too near the train tracks, it is hard not to watch when a crash is eminent.
The commercials were some of the worst tripe ever. Has 5th avenue been taken over by middle schoolers or has the mercury from fluorescent lighting been working its magic on our population and I am the only one left mentally intact? I will not be drinking Pepsi as the cans can magically fly across the room and strike you in the nuts. May be something to do with the shifting of the earth's magnetic poles? Russia is stealing the north pole from Canada and it is moving at a rate of 41 miles per year. I think the Russians believe it will bring more jobs to their country as the elves and Santa will have to necessarily move with the poles and it will also serve as a tourist destination. The Canadian Prime Minister has written a protest letter to the UN and, of course, the Russian ambassador denies the allegations.
Now would the Pepsi crotch missile be funny if the target in the commercial was not a white male, but a Middle Easterner, or a Black panther, or perhaps a white homosexual, or even an intoxicated Native American or Hispanic? The only way to make that commercial politically correct was make sure all the victims of this "pop-violence" are white guys. I am surprised the 5th Avenue potentates did not dress the white victims of these commercial advertisements in Founding Father's era clothing to make the mockery of white maleness even more salacious. I guess they figured most males who might be offended were working to pay the taxes for all the stay at home non-producers in this great big country of ours, myself included, and not watching the Super Bowl.
Susan, my secretary, who proofs all my writings for insensitivity, has correctly pointed out, the victim of the Pepsi can was probably a Jew, the religion which tops this current administrations least favorite list, followed closely by white American males. In Pepsi's defense, they did balance the violence against the Jew with some tastefully done black on white violence when the black woman threw the Pepsi can at her man who ducked landing a direct hit into some white chick's face. Now that is entertainment!
Maybe next year they can read from Obama's birth certificate before the opening ceremony and Pepsi will air a Sharia inspired honor killing where the stones are replaced by Pepsi cans. Of course the girl must be young and beautiful, and though her death will be painful and uncomfortable for some to watch, the show must go on for the people demand entertainment. Frankly I am getting tired of watching skateboarders crock themselves on banisters. I want to see a comely 14 yr old Muslim girl die in a Pepsi commercial. It is their culture as they say!
I say shame on America, shame on the Super Bowl, shame on Pepsi, shame on 5th Avenue, shame on me for not being free of bigotry, but hey, it is in my culture as they say! Until we can take Martin Luther Kings' advice to heart " to judge one not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." we will continue to fall short on compassion and understanding and the Pepsi cans will continue to fly as will the bombs. I suggest you be prepared to duck, wear a cup, and build a bomb shelter if you know what's good for you.
All in all, last night's big event was a complete bomb! Now I remember why I have not watched a Super Bowl since Super Bowl VII. I will pray for America, but I fear it is too late to save her from sinking into the abyss. As Larry Simmons said of Bell's last cow,
"She's a gonner!"
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center/ Global Poverty Law Center
"Jack, you are not a bigot if you hate everybody." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
I don't like to comment on pop culture, but from what I saw of the Super Bowl, it was the worst kind of bread and circuses. Has the entertainment industry gone completely nuts with the reading of the Declaration Of Independence and that flag waving in your face patriotism on display and up until Super Skank Christina Aguilera croaked out her autistic rendition of the Star Spangled Banner I thought the teams were going to get into Nascars and drive around and around the stadium at 200 plus mph for an hour.
Do they think we will not come for them when all this collapses? History will not be kind to those who have destroyed this country, nor will the crowd that gathers them up to mete out the punishments. I will not participate, but like the fellow who lives too near the train tracks, it is hard not to watch when a crash is eminent.
The commercials were some of the worst tripe ever. Has 5th avenue been taken over by middle schoolers or has the mercury from fluorescent lighting been working its magic on our population and I am the only one left mentally intact? I will not be drinking Pepsi as the cans can magically fly across the room and strike you in the nuts. May be something to do with the shifting of the earth's magnetic poles? Russia is stealing the north pole from Canada and it is moving at a rate of 41 miles per year. I think the Russians believe it will bring more jobs to their country as the elves and Santa will have to necessarily move with the poles and it will also serve as a tourist destination. The Canadian Prime Minister has written a protest letter to the UN and, of course, the Russian ambassador denies the allegations.
Now would the Pepsi crotch missile be funny if the target in the commercial was not a white male, but a Middle Easterner, or a Black panther, or perhaps a white homosexual, or even an intoxicated Native American or Hispanic? The only way to make that commercial politically correct was make sure all the victims of this "pop-violence" are white guys. I am surprised the 5th Avenue potentates did not dress the white victims of these commercial advertisements in Founding Father's era clothing to make the mockery of white maleness even more salacious. I guess they figured most males who might be offended were working to pay the taxes for all the stay at home non-producers in this great big country of ours, myself included, and not watching the Super Bowl.
Susan, my secretary, who proofs all my writings for insensitivity, has correctly pointed out, the victim of the Pepsi can was probably a Jew, the religion which tops this current administrations least favorite list, followed closely by white American males. In Pepsi's defense, they did balance the violence against the Jew with some tastefully done black on white violence when the black woman threw the Pepsi can at her man who ducked landing a direct hit into some white chick's face. Now that is entertainment!
Maybe next year they can read from Obama's birth certificate before the opening ceremony and Pepsi will air a Sharia inspired honor killing where the stones are replaced by Pepsi cans. Of course the girl must be young and beautiful, and though her death will be painful and uncomfortable for some to watch, the show must go on for the people demand entertainment. Frankly I am getting tired of watching skateboarders crock themselves on banisters. I want to see a comely 14 yr old Muslim girl die in a Pepsi commercial. It is their culture as they say!
I say shame on America, shame on the Super Bowl, shame on Pepsi, shame on 5th Avenue, shame on me for not being free of bigotry, but hey, it is in my culture as they say! Until we can take Martin Luther Kings' advice to heart " to judge one not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." we will continue to fall short on compassion and understanding and the Pepsi cans will continue to fly as will the bombs. I suggest you be prepared to duck, wear a cup, and build a bomb shelter if you know what's good for you.
All in all, last night's big event was a complete bomb! Now I remember why I have not watched a Super Bowl since Super Bowl VII. I will pray for America, but I fear it is too late to save her from sinking into the abyss. As Larry Simmons said of Bell's last cow,
"She's a gonner!"
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center/ Global Poverty Law Center
"Jack, you are not a bigot if you hate everybody." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Global Poverty Law Center Policy on Middle East
Blogosphereons of the World
Ms. Blunderdoss informs me I must put out a Global Poverty Law Center Policy on the Middle East. I have tried to come up with something that will not be inflammatory and taken the wrong way by any of the parties in the ME, but someone over there will likely as not be offended at what ever I come up with.
Global Poverty Law Center calls for an immediate halt to all violence, and we do not condone violence as a means to an end in any situation, exceptions are made for lingerie football and beach volley ball only if the contestants are female and scantily clad.
Large demonstrations of the poor wielding sticks and stones to break my bones shouting words that never hurt me is to be frowned upon unless the leaders of such a mob have gone through proper channels and obtained the required permits for grade I to V level civil unrest and violence. There are 5 grade levels of civil unrest that are permitted in civil societies.
Grade I involves shouts of chants used to well up a crowd of like minded citizens, citizens can arm themselves with sticks and rocks of less than .25kg as long as they do not have sharp edges. They are permitted to hurl slogans and rocks at a heavily protected police force with body shields and face masks, and a very few of the very agile among the protesters are given permits to sprint towards the police line and strike at them with their sticks and then retreat. Numerous strikes by the same individual on the same run is strictly prohibited. Any protester caught breaking this rule is subject to a plethora of rubber bullets and the occasional police baton to the noggin. Best to follow the Geneva Conventional rules for riots in third world countries.
Grade II permits allow all in grade I plus you can hurl verbal assaults at any international TV personalities. You may carry bottles with petrol in them with a cloth wick, but you are not allowed to light or throw them under any circumstance.
Business windows can be broken by the stones and the stone size can be up to and including 0.5 kg. Sticks can be replaced by baseball or cricket bats, but by convention no hockey sticks or metal pipes are permitted. Organized chants that reverberate through out the protest square are expected and encouraged. No profanity.
Grade III permits allow all of grade I and II, plus lighting of the petrol bombs, but not throwing of them. Organizers with sticks or batons may mix it up with police as much as seems prudent, and foreign news casters can be roughed up and threatened, but must not be physically harmed permanently. Grade III permits allow for the large crowd to rush hither and yon. A few shops may be looted, but no harm must come to the shop keeps or their staffs. Metal bars are allowed and rocks with sharp edges are permitted up to 1 kg.
Grade IV permits include I to III activities, but now you can throw the petrol bottles from a distance at police who have a fire brigade standing by. Stick, baton, bat wielding participants are now free to strike anybody until first blood is apparent. Hockey sticks, though frowned upon are now legal weapons under Grade IV
rules for the mob. Foreign news casters are open to bloody blows, and one broken long bone is permitted per news team. Camera's should be treated with respect and never harmed. Cars may be overturned and set afire. Care must be exercised not to harm any animals during Grade IV exercises as it is not permitted.
Grade V, the highest grade possible, allows for anything goes. Petrol bombs may be thrown at any police locality or building, stick strikes may be made until death ensues or the wielder becomes too tired to strike out any further. Cars loaded with people can be overturned and burned, any shop may be sacked and burned. Profanity is allowed on camera when tearing news casters limb from limb. This permit does not allow the participants to skip calls to prayer. It is understood that all must stop immediately and face Mecca and kneel in the pious fashion. No exceptions.
Rioters caught not adhering to these Geneva Convention generated rules of mobs will be dealt with severely. Urinating in public will not be tolerated and the organizers must have sufficient numbers of port-a-potties to serve the expected numbers in attendance. Nothing is to happen to the port-a-potties under any circumstance. They are protected by international law. The international news types know this and have used them as safe havens in the past.
Universal Rules for Grade I-V: Under no circumstances can rioters run with scissors. Rioters must wait fully one half hour after eating before entering the water for a swim. Rioters may not shout slogans or run with food in their mouths, and should not spit gum on the walkways. All traffic signs and signals must be observed to insure an orderly riot. Use universal precautions when dealing with other people's blood.
The Geneva Convention grants all rioters 1/2 hr off for lunch, and two 15 minute breaks in an 8 hr riot. Like it or not, it is the law.
Jack Maybolt, President
Global Poverty Law Center
"Riots is just people being people!" Mother Maybolt, 1922-2008
Ms. Blunderdoss informs me I must put out a Global Poverty Law Center Policy on the Middle East. I have tried to come up with something that will not be inflammatory and taken the wrong way by any of the parties in the ME, but someone over there will likely as not be offended at what ever I come up with.
Global Poverty Law Center calls for an immediate halt to all violence, and we do not condone violence as a means to an end in any situation, exceptions are made for lingerie football and beach volley ball only if the contestants are female and scantily clad.
Large demonstrations of the poor wielding sticks and stones to break my bones shouting words that never hurt me is to be frowned upon unless the leaders of such a mob have gone through proper channels and obtained the required permits for grade I to V level civil unrest and violence. There are 5 grade levels of civil unrest that are permitted in civil societies.
Grade I involves shouts of chants used to well up a crowd of like minded citizens, citizens can arm themselves with sticks and rocks of less than .25kg as long as they do not have sharp edges. They are permitted to hurl slogans and rocks at a heavily protected police force with body shields and face masks, and a very few of the very agile among the protesters are given permits to sprint towards the police line and strike at them with their sticks and then retreat. Numerous strikes by the same individual on the same run is strictly prohibited. Any protester caught breaking this rule is subject to a plethora of rubber bullets and the occasional police baton to the noggin. Best to follow the Geneva Conventional rules for riots in third world countries.
Grade II permits allow all in grade I plus you can hurl verbal assaults at any international TV personalities. You may carry bottles with petrol in them with a cloth wick, but you are not allowed to light or throw them under any circumstance.
Business windows can be broken by the stones and the stone size can be up to and including 0.5 kg. Sticks can be replaced by baseball or cricket bats, but by convention no hockey sticks or metal pipes are permitted. Organized chants that reverberate through out the protest square are expected and encouraged. No profanity.
Grade III permits allow all of grade I and II, plus lighting of the petrol bombs, but not throwing of them. Organizers with sticks or batons may mix it up with police as much as seems prudent, and foreign news casters can be roughed up and threatened, but must not be physically harmed permanently. Grade III permits allow for the large crowd to rush hither and yon. A few shops may be looted, but no harm must come to the shop keeps or their staffs. Metal bars are allowed and rocks with sharp edges are permitted up to 1 kg.
Grade IV permits include I to III activities, but now you can throw the petrol bottles from a distance at police who have a fire brigade standing by. Stick, baton, bat wielding participants are now free to strike anybody until first blood is apparent. Hockey sticks, though frowned upon are now legal weapons under Grade IV
rules for the mob. Foreign news casters are open to bloody blows, and one broken long bone is permitted per news team. Camera's should be treated with respect and never harmed. Cars may be overturned and set afire. Care must be exercised not to harm any animals during Grade IV exercises as it is not permitted.
Grade V, the highest grade possible, allows for anything goes. Petrol bombs may be thrown at any police locality or building, stick strikes may be made until death ensues or the wielder becomes too tired to strike out any further. Cars loaded with people can be overturned and burned, any shop may be sacked and burned. Profanity is allowed on camera when tearing news casters limb from limb. This permit does not allow the participants to skip calls to prayer. It is understood that all must stop immediately and face Mecca and kneel in the pious fashion. No exceptions.
Rioters caught not adhering to these Geneva Convention generated rules of mobs will be dealt with severely. Urinating in public will not be tolerated and the organizers must have sufficient numbers of port-a-potties to serve the expected numbers in attendance. Nothing is to happen to the port-a-potties under any circumstance. They are protected by international law. The international news types know this and have used them as safe havens in the past.
Universal Rules for Grade I-V: Under no circumstances can rioters run with scissors. Rioters must wait fully one half hour after eating before entering the water for a swim. Rioters may not shout slogans or run with food in their mouths, and should not spit gum on the walkways. All traffic signs and signals must be observed to insure an orderly riot. Use universal precautions when dealing with other people's blood.
The Geneva Convention grants all rioters 1/2 hr off for lunch, and two 15 minute breaks in an 8 hr riot. Like it or not, it is the law.
Jack Maybolt, President
Global Poverty Law Center
"Riots is just people being people!" Mother Maybolt, 1922-2008
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Urban Poverty Law Center Start Construction of New Facility
Blogosphereons
I was talking to Ms. Blunderdoss yesterday and she feels like it is time for our organization to spread its wings and grow.
She thinks a small office off Highway 70 near the Cedar Grove, Tennessee post office would be the perfect location. There we
could answer the reams of mail and email we have been getting for information on our specific proposals to end urban and global poverty! Do not bother with the rest of the narrative as it is a cheesy commercial, but we need to build our area up with good people who are still active and want to make a difference. Rome wasn't build in a single day.
I have a 2 acre lot that was my uncle Bedford's that he got when he did some carpentry work for the Jolly's who owned a large farm in Cedar Grove. Uncle Bedford always thought it would be a good spot to build a fruits and vegetable market as it had great access to Highway 70, which was the main thoroughfare through the US before the interstate system came in to cut the communities on route 66 off at the knees. I am not complaining because I like living in 1950's America. Still plenty of room if anybody wants to move here. We have several building tracts on Water Tower Road with Cedar Grove Water, and Charles Stanford will build you a custom home all for under $50 a square foot, so long as he puts it, " you don't go crazy and put $5,000 doors in it."
Way I figure it you can have a 3,000 sq ft custom built house on 35 acres of land, 100 miles from Memphis and 100 miles from Nashville, and 12 miles from the Huntingdon, Tn Wal-Mart for about $275,000. Contact Banker DB Bell at my gmail address.
We will sell to well qualified foreigners. We have a retired railroad engineer who will help you get your victory garden started. Our lovable and local mechanic can fix anything and the mail runs 6 days a week. We get high speed internet and Rush Limbaugh on free radio out of Jackson, Tn.
My sister has a place in Cedar Grove and she will sell all or part. The house has been there since 1830's but was tastefully remodeled in the 1990's. It was used as a Union Hospital during the Civil War and is probably haunted. Two small girls were buried in the pasture out in front after they died during the yellow fever epidemic in the late 1800's. My nephew saw one of the girls one night when he got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. No evil spirits as of this writing, just your run of the mill restless noisy ones. Her farm is 145 acres with two fine barns, one is newer horse barn with 20 fine stalls, the other is much older but still functional. One hundred acres of timbered rolling hills, and the balance in pasture with 30 acres tillable ground. It has good well water and borders a 20 acre water shed lake with good bass, sunfish, cat fishing.
My real estate friend gave me $25 dollars for the Global Poverty/Urban Poverty Law Center building fund, and he wants me to include his name here as he will do all he can to get you located here. He is a really fine fellow and he is in the yellow pages and on the internet. Darrell Ridgeley, none better, sold me and Bell our farms. His phone number is 731-694-6213. Call him for this weeks specials in the real estate market here in Cedar Grove.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"I've lived in Cedar Grove all my life and I love it here!" Mother Maybolt 1926-2008
I was talking to Ms. Blunderdoss yesterday and she feels like it is time for our organization to spread its wings and grow.
She thinks a small office off Highway 70 near the Cedar Grove, Tennessee post office would be the perfect location. There we
could answer the reams of mail and email we have been getting for information on our specific proposals to end urban and global poverty! Do not bother with the rest of the narrative as it is a cheesy commercial, but we need to build our area up with good people who are still active and want to make a difference. Rome wasn't build in a single day.
I have a 2 acre lot that was my uncle Bedford's that he got when he did some carpentry work for the Jolly's who owned a large farm in Cedar Grove. Uncle Bedford always thought it would be a good spot to build a fruits and vegetable market as it had great access to Highway 70, which was the main thoroughfare through the US before the interstate system came in to cut the communities on route 66 off at the knees. I am not complaining because I like living in 1950's America. Still plenty of room if anybody wants to move here. We have several building tracts on Water Tower Road with Cedar Grove Water, and Charles Stanford will build you a custom home all for under $50 a square foot, so long as he puts it, " you don't go crazy and put $5,000 doors in it."
Way I figure it you can have a 3,000 sq ft custom built house on 35 acres of land, 100 miles from Memphis and 100 miles from Nashville, and 12 miles from the Huntingdon, Tn Wal-Mart for about $275,000. Contact Banker DB Bell at my gmail address.
We will sell to well qualified foreigners. We have a retired railroad engineer who will help you get your victory garden started. Our lovable and local mechanic can fix anything and the mail runs 6 days a week. We get high speed internet and Rush Limbaugh on free radio out of Jackson, Tn.
My sister has a place in Cedar Grove and she will sell all or part. The house has been there since 1830's but was tastefully remodeled in the 1990's. It was used as a Union Hospital during the Civil War and is probably haunted. Two small girls were buried in the pasture out in front after they died during the yellow fever epidemic in the late 1800's. My nephew saw one of the girls one night when he got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. No evil spirits as of this writing, just your run of the mill restless noisy ones. Her farm is 145 acres with two fine barns, one is newer horse barn with 20 fine stalls, the other is much older but still functional. One hundred acres of timbered rolling hills, and the balance in pasture with 30 acres tillable ground. It has good well water and borders a 20 acre water shed lake with good bass, sunfish, cat fishing.
My real estate friend gave me $25 dollars for the Global Poverty/Urban Poverty Law Center building fund, and he wants me to include his name here as he will do all he can to get you located here. He is a really fine fellow and he is in the yellow pages and on the internet. Darrell Ridgeley, none better, sold me and Bell our farms. His phone number is 731-694-6213. Call him for this weeks specials in the real estate market here in Cedar Grove.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Global/Urban Poverty Law Center
"I've lived in Cedar Grove all my life and I love it here!" Mother Maybolt 1926-2008
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