Blogosphereons of the World
Ms. Blunderdoss informs me I must put out a Global Poverty Law Center Policy on the Middle East. I have tried to come up with something that will not be inflammatory and taken the wrong way by any of the parties in the ME, but someone over there will likely as not be offended at what ever I come up with.
Global Poverty Law Center calls for an immediate halt to all violence, and we do not condone violence as a means to an end in any situation, exceptions are made for lingerie football and beach volley ball only if the contestants are female and scantily clad.
Large demonstrations of the poor wielding sticks and stones to break my bones shouting words that never hurt me is to be frowned upon unless the leaders of such a mob have gone through proper channels and obtained the required permits for grade I to V level civil unrest and violence. There are 5 grade levels of civil unrest that are permitted in civil societies.
Grade I involves shouts of chants used to well up a crowd of like minded citizens, citizens can arm themselves with sticks and rocks of less than .25kg as long as they do not have sharp edges. They are permitted to hurl slogans and rocks at a heavily protected police force with body shields and face masks, and a very few of the very agile among the protesters are given permits to sprint towards the police line and strike at them with their sticks and then retreat. Numerous strikes by the same individual on the same run is strictly prohibited. Any protester caught breaking this rule is subject to a plethora of rubber bullets and the occasional police baton to the noggin. Best to follow the Geneva Conventional rules for riots in third world countries.
Grade II permits allow all in grade I plus you can hurl verbal assaults at any international TV personalities. You may carry bottles with petrol in them with a cloth wick, but you are not allowed to light or throw them under any circumstance.
Business windows can be broken by the stones and the stone size can be up to and including 0.5 kg. Sticks can be replaced by baseball or cricket bats, but by convention no hockey sticks or metal pipes are permitted. Organized chants that reverberate through out the protest square are expected and encouraged. No profanity.
Grade III permits allow all of grade I and II, plus lighting of the petrol bombs, but not throwing of them. Organizers with sticks or batons may mix it up with police as much as seems prudent, and foreign news casters can be roughed up and threatened, but must not be physically harmed permanently. Grade III permits allow for the large crowd to rush hither and yon. A few shops may be looted, but no harm must come to the shop keeps or their staffs. Metal bars are allowed and rocks with sharp edges are permitted up to 1 kg.
Grade IV permits include I to III activities, but now you can throw the petrol bottles from a distance at police who have a fire brigade standing by. Stick, baton, bat wielding participants are now free to strike anybody until first blood is apparent. Hockey sticks, though frowned upon are now legal weapons under Grade IV
rules for the mob. Foreign news casters are open to bloody blows, and one broken long bone is permitted per news team. Camera's should be treated with respect and never harmed. Cars may be overturned and set afire. Care must be exercised not to harm any animals during Grade IV exercises as it is not permitted.
Grade V, the highest grade possible, allows for anything goes. Petrol bombs may be thrown at any police locality or building, stick strikes may be made until death ensues or the wielder becomes too tired to strike out any further. Cars loaded with people can be overturned and burned, any shop may be sacked and burned. Profanity is allowed on camera when tearing news casters limb from limb. This permit does not allow the participants to skip calls to prayer. It is understood that all must stop immediately and face Mecca and kneel in the pious fashion. No exceptions.
Rioters caught not adhering to these Geneva Convention generated rules of mobs will be dealt with severely. Urinating in public will not be tolerated and the organizers must have sufficient numbers of port-a-potties to serve the expected numbers in attendance. Nothing is to happen to the port-a-potties under any circumstance. They are protected by international law. The international news types know this and have used them as safe havens in the past.
Universal Rules for Grade I-V: Under no circumstances can rioters run with scissors. Rioters must wait fully one half hour after eating before entering the water for a swim. Rioters may not shout slogans or run with food in their mouths, and should not spit gum on the walkways. All traffic signs and signals must be observed to insure an orderly riot. Use universal precautions when dealing with other people's blood.
The Geneva Convention grants all rioters 1/2 hr off for lunch, and two 15 minute breaks in an 8 hr riot. Like it or not, it is the law.
Jack Maybolt, President
Global Poverty Law Center
"Riots is just people being people!" Mother Maybolt, 1922-2008
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