Blogosphereons:
Imagine my shock to go through the mail for the Urban Poverty Law Center and find a letter from a George Soros funded group, "People Who Color Outside the Box"! In the letter, one of their corporate lawyers, Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq, has ordered me to cease and give up my organization's name as it sounds too similar to his client's "Urbane Poverty Law Centre."
Quite frankly, I do not see the problem as their institution's title is not even close to mine! I think he is on a fishing expedition and wants to buy my UPLC so he can have the coolest think tank name. I have dictated the following letter to Mr.
Dennis Doubel-Latte, Esq. if that is his real name:
08,02,2011
Dear Mr. Doubel-Latte:
I refer to your letter dated 21,01,2011 on your fancy Urbane Poverty Law Centre letter head and I reject your inference that my institution which was founded in 1988to help get America's Urban Poor's stories out and help get a dialog between the haves and the have wants started, has stolen in kind your institutes name.
You can ask Carl down at the Cedar Grove store, where I go every morning to get a fried bologna sandwich with light mayonnaise and a coca-cola in a bottle and visit with my colleagues about the integrity of the Urban Poverty Law Center and its long
history of helping our down-trodden brothers and sisters in our blighted population centers all over this great land and now we are taking our efforts globally!
We provide information that is available nowhere else. We pride ourselves with our common sense approach to problem solving and though we haven't a sugar daddy like that old curmudgeon, Horhey Soros, like you folks down at the Urbane Poverty Law Centre, we are doing just fine.
Our budget is a little over $112.52 a month and the greatest majority of that is for Susan Blunderdoss, my secretary. I do give her a dozen farm fresh eggs a week, which raises her wages by about $6 a month, but it is a gift and my accountants, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, LLC assure me that she does not have to declare this on her income taxes.
I believe by the tone of your letter, you think you are so sophisticated and we at the Urban Poverty Law Center are a bunch of rednecks. Well you may be right about that, but you better not be showing your face in these parts in your Gucci shoes and your $300 three piece Italian suits from The Men's Warehouse and your $20 hair styles, likely as not got from a woman's salon, unless you want your hair mussed and your shoes soiled!
I am not one to condone violence, but you have struck a nerve, a raw nerve with me.
The Urban Poverty Law Center is all I have. It is all I think about day in and day out. After the insulting tone of page one of your missive, I see that your organization has offered us a million dollars for the name,........ on page 2 paragraph 3.
Really, Mr. Doubel-Latte, really, a million dollars? Now we have a situation. I will need to consult with counsel about this as this changes everything. I will get back to you, soon.
I am you humble Liege
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center
"Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas. Lie down with dogs and a lawyer and the lawyer will have all the fleas, you and the dog, nothing!" Mother Maybolt 1928-2008
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