Urban Poverty Law Center Invitation to Manuel Zelaya

Friends,

We are still reeling from our loss here in Cedar Grove of the Metro Bingo Parlor/Food Bank!
I know the world keeps on spinning and we need to get past this little set back and continue to make good policy for our poor urban brothers and sisters. It is with this motivation that I have decided to invite ousted President Manuel Zelaya to leave his Honduran hide-out at the Brazilian Embassy and join us at the UPLC here in Cedar Grove.

I have decided we need to reach out to our brown brothers to the south and for this reason I have invited President Zelaya to become the first fellow of the New Urban Poverty Law Center.
It is a position of high honor. I look forward to having President Zelaya as a colleague. I hope to pay him a stipend when we get on our feet financially.

I have been following the Tiger Woods soap opera. As I said before, he is a man, and so far all of the women who have come forward have been of age and beautiful, and as Mother said, "what's in a couple of minutes of bumping uglies. Where do you think you came from? Under a rock?"

What I am trying to say is what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And if love is not possible, blisteringly hot megastar affairs is a good start. Hell, Tiger and Elin, and et c., et c., et c., Mother always said, "You know, you can't wear out something that makes its own grease! But that does not keep us from trying, and God knows we all tried when we were young."

Sorry, I got off point. We are going to be writing to President Obama for some money for the Urban Poverty Law Center. We need to take it to the next level. The only thing we need to do this is more money. I will be appearing on radio and TV and will need a make-over and some new clothes. My leisure suit, polyester of course, in green plaid is a bit snug and looks funny with my right leg missing and all. So you see where I am coming from. I do not want to spend all my settlement money on this cause, but I will if we cannot get charitable contributions from the givernment, shit did I just misspell government. Well givernment or government either will do, you all know what I meant.

I have been studying the climate change crisis and hope to come out with a policy statement for the Urban Poverty Law Center this week to coincide with the Copenhagen Climactic Confab, which is being held in Copenhagen, Denmark. Did you ever notice the breasts on the little mermaid statue in Copenhagen harbor? They are really nice and firm. Only suggestion for the Danes, that is what they call people from Denmark, would be to paint her upper half in flesh tones, that would be really nice!

Jack D. Maybolt, PhD
President, Urban Poverty Law Center


"Life is too short not to do who ever you can." Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008