Saturday, February 18, 2012

Urban Poverty Law Center And The Parallel Universe Revisited

That was an experience I will not soon forget!

Let me explain. As you know I was killed last week when a deer ran out in front of my freshly painted vintage 67 Volkswagen beetle and I choose to slam a tele pole instead of the feckless deer. Did you know a deer's life span is only about 8 years? Death was swift and like in the movies and on TV, there was mother and her side of the family, and my father and his side of the family taking turns riding an enormous Ferris wheel. We were all in an amusement park and it looks like Walt Disney has something to do with it. There were lines of souls everywhere waiting to ride this and that. The younger souls were whizzing about just like back on earth.

I was whole again. My severed limbs back in place. I was going to make my way over to my parents when I was stopped by an official looking spectre who had with him a large dusty book which he was studying. I tried to look past his shoulder to see what my family was doing, but suddenly it was just me and the gatekeeper in an eternal white light. His lips moved as if he was going to speak, but no sound was made. I just look at him befuddled and shrug my shoulders and mouthed to him that "I can not hear you."

He goes back to studying his book and from out of nowhere in comes a distinguished gentleman in fine dress who looks at the book with the first fellow. They confer out of my earshot for a short while and the second is gone just as quickly as he appeared.

The gatekeeper then looks back at me and says, "Jackson Delano Maybolt, Jr there has been a mistake. You are not supposed to be here."

With this all the color must have drained out of me because though I did not attend church regularly if at all in life, I had tried to do the right thing and treat others fairly, but before I could answer, he continued:

"A mix up, sometimes when the sun is really active like it was this past month, fates get scrambled. We will have to get you back, but we will have to place you in a slightly different reality. You will not remember what has happened here and will not be able to tell you have entered a parallel universe. The differences are quite tiny."

Next thing I know I am driving my 67 bug and watch the deer turn and bolt away. I remember it all. I have spent the past week trying to determine what is different in this universe. I have been reading a history book looking for the changes and similarities. I can find no major differences but gasoline prices seem to be higher here in this universe and the politicians are so bold they have opened their corruption for public viewing and seem to dare the voters to do anything about it. Oh, and President Obama seems to have something against Catholics and the church in this universe. I am just thankful that Al Gore, Jr is being as quiet as a church mouse as the global warming hoax is still unfolding.

And Whitney Houston drowns in a bathtub after taking a xanax and a sip of wine. Beware of solar spots and solar flares, we are in the hands of a fickle universe. I am shocked I tell you, shocked. Dreams, we can blame it on dreams. Somewhere in a parallel universe Whitney is drying herself off and she getting ready to attend the Grammys. I am gonna miss her. Now where did I put my bottle of xanax?



Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center and the Southern Poetry Law Center

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