Great news! Charles Stanford, co-owner of the Metropolitan Cedar Grove Bingo Palor/Food Bank, has agreed to let us use his building at no charge for a local money drive for our poor brothers in Detroit! He has also donated a pig that Bedford Gatley has graciously agreed to slaughter and bar-b-que for the event! The Piggly-Wiggly in Milan has donated the cole slaw and baked beans, and Walmart has donated the beverages and the disposable placeware! All my depression brought on by my miserable lonely life as a near complete shut in cripple has lifted, praise the Lord! Amen.
This will be next Friday at 5pm til midnight. Admission is $3.50 for adults and $1.75 for children and this price includes all you can eat and drink, plus two free bingo cards! Wow, don't miss this event of the year. Of course, Larry Simmons will have some of his special
moonshine recipe on hand for the gents. It is available in pint or quart mason jars. It is the real deal, made like his daddy's daddy done since the last century from one of the oldest illegal stills in the county. Larry has graciously donated all his sales proceeds to the Detroit Dozer Project. Word of warning, don't drink to much of it, it will make you do stupid things.
Like the time when we was in high school and someone spiked the punch bowl with some and David Bedvetter drank to much and drove to Kentucky and married his sister Lisa. They stayed married for almost 11 years and had four children together. The marriage ended when Dave came home early from his work as a car salesman at the Ford dealership in Humboldt and caught Lisa in bed with their other brother, Robert. David and Lisa divorced, and Lisa and Robert got married. I don't care how far back in the hills you live, now that is creepy weird!
Lisa and Robert are still married and David left car sales and is a very successful Amway salesman living in Medina. He never remarried, said he never found another woman who smelled as nice as his sister, Lisa.
Here is the money shot: if you can be in the neighborhood on December 4, 2009 come on down to the Cedar Grove Bingo Palor/Food Bank and join the fun. There will be door prizes given away, blocks of government cheese! Count four! Bessie Stoneburner says the cheese is just barely out of date, and should be safe. Ned Nicoderm and his son Patch have donated a Springfield AR-15 semi auto rifle in 223 caliber, which will be raffled off, tickets can be purchased at the Nicoderm Gun Emporium in Lavina or at the Parkers Brother Country Store here in Cedar Grove. Tickets are only $5 a piece or 5 for $20. Don't miss this chance to own a real neat rifle that will kill at 200 yards.
Come on down to the Parlor next Friday and help us with a good cause.
Thanks
Jack D. Maybolt PhD
Executive in Charge Urban Poverty Law Center
"Living without giving is like eating and never crapping. Sooner or later, somethings gonna give!" Mother Maybolt 1924-2008
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