Hugo Chavez has by all reports slipped the surly bonds of earth, leaving his cancer riddled and malfunctioning carcass in Caracas, his soul slipping without fanfare to hot spots hitherto unknown.
Adolph, Joe, and Pol, can now have a foursome for bridge. And now we can take this man's life apart one piece at a time.
Headline: Hugo amassed a fortune of $2 billion dollars. I hope the US is mentioned in the will as his fortune would fund our borrowing from the Fed Reserve Bank for a little over 8 hours, longer if he were to designate the funds to the night shift which has fewer expenditures.
For a socialist of such noblesse obliges he fell from grace and went material in a fashion that would even put some color back into Madonna's pale old worn out cheeks. To quote our gifted Baritone in Chief, Barack Hugo Obama, "when do you have enough money?"
Money is like pain. Really hard to appreciate until it is yours. From the descriptions leaking out of and about Hugo Chavez's last days he had plenty of both. I think I know how he felt. I have gout.
As you know Gout is the term given to abnormally high uric acid levels in the blood stream which leach into joint fluids and given the proper temperature and concentrations will form needle sharp crystals that serve as foreign body nevi which are attacked and consumed by white blood cells of the immune system which sets up a cascading event ending in thousands upon thousands of dead white blood cells with thousands more necessary to clear out the casualties. Oh the humanity!
Next thing you know your ankle, foot, heel, knee, elbow hurts like hell and even telling yourself it represents only 5% of our total body mass index, and why focus on the 5% when the other 95% feels just fine, you are drawn towards the pain like the moth to the flame. Gout will not be ignored.
Treatments include steroids, non steroidal anti-inflamatories, allopurinol, colchicine, which used to be given to the onset of watery diarrhea. Other treatments include avoiding the foods high in purines like all the things you like to eat!
Now to the rub. I contracted the stomach flu last week. It started with nausea for me and I could have vomited but I hate vomiting worse than April 15th so I did not vomit, then watery diarrhea for 24 hrs and guess what? My joints have never felt better!
I can only conclude the diarrhea has purged the body of excess uric acid and other toxicants that were causing mischief in these old bones.
This has given me an idea. I will go to the laboratory. Or is it the lavatory?
The Division of Homeland Security has purchased 2027 lightly armored personnel carriers from a high dollar campaign bundler and personal friend of the Obamas. The carriers did not pass the DOD test of survivability necessary to function in a war zone such as Afghanistan where there are no restrictions on buying fertilizer and diesel fuel, but DHS felt the vehicles could be useful in America where IED's are exceedingly rare for now and fertilizer ownership is restricted.
The uniform procurement office at DHS have spent a thousand dollars per uniform for the TSA agents. That is 50 million dollars! Again a bundler for the Obama Campaign got the contract. I think I could go to JC Penney's with about $200 and make these folks stand out! A $40 million dollar savings! And now TSA will allow passengers to take small knives on planes with their take on luggage.
America's airlines are jittery. The Flight Attendants Association is in emergency session.
The first week of the sequestration and the White House closes its tour office. Even though the White House budget is exempt from sequestration, they want to be seen as doing their part to save money and keep the nation's financial affairs solvent for as many days more as is possible.
I believe there is a move underfoot to add 13 more federal holidays to the calendar making thirteen three day work weeks, and by giving up Saturday postal deliveries, we can keep the government running for another two weeks. Giving government workers furloughs for the summer months will also help strengthen our house.
Giving government workers furloughs for the remaining months of the year would also help. Work em until the money runs out then they are on volunteer service only after that. We might find that many might show up to work to avoid the spouse and kids at home, or just for the coffee breaks.
To be really honest, if 95% of government shut down nobody would notice. I spent a year at the Department of Energy back in the late 70's and it was a coffee club. Safe jobs supporting a community.
Sure all the departments give the appearance of work, but it is not work. It was holding down a position and spreading the wealth. All monies had to be spent by October 31. Not a complete waste, but some to be sure.
The real work is done out in the country. Feeding the world.
I am going to buy a new JD planter, new to me used to the fellow selling it. 8 row to plant beans this year. That is if my joints hold up.
Jackson Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
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