This is bigger than President Obama's ego! Larger than Jay Leno's chin! Greater than the dip in the fourth quarter US GDP!
Al-Qaeda has decided to postpone any attacks on the American heartland until after the congress bans assault rifles!
Spokesperson for Al-Qaeda, Mohamet Al-Jizeer-Current TV, jr: "After consultations with the Ayatollah Komeni and Bashar Assad, we feel it is better to attack Americans who have no hope of defending themselves. Now that congress and the president are openly hostile to the American people and no longer have the people's best interests at heart, the old Arab adage, " the enemy of my enemy is my friend" is in play here."
"There is dancing in the street in Tehran, but it is still forbidden."
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law center
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