Here at the Urban Poverty Law Center we take our social responsibilities seriously. Man's inhumanity to man and all creatures he can dominate must come to a halt. I believe the first step, baby step though it may be, is to institute Vice President Joseph Stalin Biden's plan for a new global tax payable to the Urban Poverty Law Center.
Of course the tax must be fair and follow a graduated scale as it would not be proper to charge a Bangladeshi the same amount as Bill Gates or Warren Buffett. The Bangladeshi must pay more as he is fouling the land and water with his excrement where as I would know the amazing duo of Buffett and Gates have only pushed out waste into proper facilities with a fantastic sewage treatment plant down stream.
The Bangladeshis waste is swept out to sea with the monsoon rains where it bobs about in the Indian Ocean for months fermenting and baking until they wash up on a pristine Australian beach near Sidney. There they are highly sought after, collected, and traded among Aussie school children.
This trade in Bangladeshi waste is quickly becoming an international scandal, ever since sixth grader, Robert Jenson Pulman, IV discovered you could grind small particles off these dried Bangladeshi Beach Biscuits as they are called down under, and snort it much as you would with snuff, and get high.
Bangladeshi Beach Biscuits are trading at all time highs and the Chinese are seeing if they afford any aphrodisiac affects. They have some of their best men working on it.
So you see the Bangladeshi must pay at a higher rate. I am opening another banking account to prepare to receive the flood of new tax monies into my organization.
What will I do with all that money? Spend it on many wonderful things! What else?
Of course I would be a big tipper when ever I go out to eat at Mallards restaurant in Huntingdon.
Joe Biden and I are going to get together and set the tax rates for each citizen of the world. It will be good to see old Joe again! I used to sleep with his wife's sister and his dog when he was away on business. Those were the days!
This is perhaps the only good idea Joe Biden has ever had besides entering politics in Delaware? Did you know he rides the train?
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center
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