Urban Poverty Law Center New Year Notes

Friends,

A lot has happened here in Cedar Grove over the past two weeks. We lost one of our neighbors to a tragic car accident just down the road from us. Mrs. Blunderdoss's cat, Charlotte, had three kittens and one stillborn, and Ned Lightner lost his leg below the knee to diabetes complications.

Add the Christmas celebration and New Year's Day and we have had a terrible lot of things going on for such a small community. The celebration of Christ's birth gives all hope that we have not lived pious lives in vain and that each will be rewarded with a glorious afterlife filled with joy and happiness to be reunited with family members who passed this way before us.

Detroit dozer fund razer update: Charlie Savery, the Caterpillar salesman, said he would work with us on the purchase of the dozer and offered to sell us a lease back dozer for $30,000 less than a new one. This essentially gets us $30,000 closer to our dream. The machine did easy work at the landfill in Newbern Tn. Charlie said he would see to it that it came with a carton of those air fresheners you hang up that look like little evergreen trees. With the bad economy around here we have decided to go national for the bulk of our fund razing, and have hired a public relations firm out of Jackson TN to help us get this thing off the ground. Becky Sue Taylor's granddaughter, Shirley Findlayson, works for the firm as an executive secretary. She said they have handled some big accounts like Scooter Timble and the Timeless Singing Boatmen, which is a barbershop quartet, the Timeless Singing Boatmen, with Scooter accompanying them on the accordion. I saw them once at the Jackson Metropolitan Grand Ole Opry Center after eating with Mother at the Cracker Barrel. Scooter Timble was hot that night!

Not a dry eye in the house when they did that rendition of Swing Low Sweet Chariot!

We have had some terrible cold weather here of late. Down to 9 at night with highs of mid 20's. I had to get daddy's old down hunting jacket out of the attic and wear it to keep warm when I go over and feed the chickens. Blasted cold makes taking water out to the chickens a daily proposition! I find if I take a gallon of hot water and pour it on the ice in the bowl it melts the ice and they seem to enjoy drinking the warmer water. My 17 birds have dropped to 15 as another dropped dead over the holidays. Bobby Woodard, the local poultry expert, said it was probably a heart attack. He's seen it before. Let me tell you it does not make it any easier to loose one, those chickens were just like chickens to me. I can see I will have to buy some more chickens when the weather gets nicer. I like to get them at about 5 months and feed them up to about 9 months when they become mature enough to lay eggs. I like the eggs. Only got four eggs yesterday. I think the cold shuts the egg-maker off. I will have to ask Bobby about this next time I see him.

I don't know about you but I am grateful the holidays are over and we had no more trouble around here than we did. The two weeks from mid December to Jan 2, have historically proved tumultuous for my community and this past one was not an exception. I pray we and you are headed for normalcy in the year to come. Is it too much to expect, Global Normal Temperatures, World Peace, terrorists ridding their undergarments of explosives and renouncing their ways, honest politicians, beautiful women, smart children who are polite and do their homework, chickens with healthy hearts, lower taxes, honesty from our federal reserve bank, gold under a thousand dollars an ounce and $40 dollar a barrel oil.

Next I will tell you about Coxville's First Annual New Years Day One Shot Duck Hunt. I was privy to participate as Kenneth Cox, has a handicapped accessible duck blind down in the bottom. I will save the particulars for later. Suffice it to say everybody had a good time!

Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD

President, Urban Poverty Law Center

When politicians are leaving in droves without being voted out it is time to count the silverware! Mother Maybolt 1925-2008

Urban Poetry Law Center

Friends,

Two Weak Absence

The Poem

By Jack D. Maybolt

Away in a manger no computer for to write

My mentor and hero his chest did get tight

Scaring us all and giving such a great fright

Praying each evening that he'd be all right

Hoping against hope that he would rush back

to the microphone which is golden and black

where he leads us to think our country is sacked

by the left and the right who is mostly whacked

The poetry is not poverty but this poem sucks

I am going to quit it and buy some new trucks

Jackson D Maybolt Poet Enematus

The Urban Poverty Law Center

Where we are into poverty, other peoples, that is.

"Never take a cat to a dog fight." Mother Maybolt 1922-2008

Poverty On The Rise, Temperatures Dropping UPLC Report

Friends,

Over at the Holladay Diner yesterday, I was talking with Jug Cochs about the economy and his tax preparer told him that Tennessee was going to require him to purchase workmans compensation insurance on hisself! Now I ain't that bright, but Jug is self-employed with no employees ceptin hisself. Tennessee wants him to be both employer and employee. He said he would be faced with a 15% tax of his gross if he made more than $52,000, imagine a tax of this magnitude applied to his other taxes. It might look something like this:

Jug Cochs tax return 2010

Gross income: $52,001
self employment tax / medicare tax $7,600
workmans comp tax $7,600
income tax $7,600
business tax $3,000
property tax $1,500
sales tax $2,000
total tax $29,300 total left for Jug to spend is $22,701

Jug is not a happy camper. He was even unhappier when I told him that even the serfs of the middle ages only had to give 1/12 to the lord of the manor. Jug wants to be a serf and not a slave. I agree, but I told Jug that me and the Urban Poverty Law Center was fighting on his behalf as soon as he drops over into poverty which looks like it is coming next year if these tax levels hold out! He was not amused. Seriously, working Americans are getting pissed off. This could make our work at the Law Center more difficult. Even Karl Marx knew it was easier to help pacified poor than the irritable poor. The hungry poor are most disagreeable and prone to outburst of violence. Stalin knew if you can't feed them you have to kill them. Those are just the facts as detestable as they may be. Hitler knew that a man without a gun is an easier mark than one with a gun. Americans have guns and no Hitler thus far.

The Urban Poverty Law Center's policy on gun control is "all legal residents of the fifty states should be free to own and bare arms, without infringement by anyone in government." Our belief is the current Federal Firearms Acts form is too intrusive and needs to be shortened to something like:

The New Urban Poverty Law Center ATF gun purchasing form: Do you already legally own a gun? If Yes, go ahead, buy another.
If No, why not?

Then go into the questionnaire on mental competence and felony convictions.

I need to make more of the shenanigans in Copenhagen by the Watchers. Watchers is a term we have here at the UPLC for those people who have moved up the people ladder and do not produce anything of value for mankind. All Watchers are easily identified by uncalloused well-manicured hands and perfectly coiffured hair and Italian suits. If they are not brown they are well tanned. Their teeth are their own and perfectly white. They work from 11am to 2pm with a 2 hr lunch break and two 30 minute coffee breaks. They all make 6 + figure salaries and travel all over the world free. They have generous expense accounts. The United Nations is staffed by Watchers. Urban Poverty Law Center will take a look at just one of these Watchers. His name is Doctor Rajendra Pachauri.

Dr. Pachauri is the head of the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. He is a graduate of the famous Railroad and Engineers Institute in India whose name escapes me now. He is not a Climatologist, he is a Watcher. He planned the Climate Confab in Copenhagen. He traveled over 443,243 miles over the past 18 months leading up to the Confab including two trips from New York to Delhi just to practice Cricket and play a Cricket match. He is a Watcher of the highest order. I have not ever seen a picture of Rajandra, but he must be very handsome and not know about computers and how to send emails or how to setup online meetings to save the planet of all the carbon spewing out of the backs of the UN jet fleet. Watchers are notoriously selfish and self servers. Watchers are wealthy, selfless people like Mother Teresa are poor. I have said too much for now, but be suspicious of all Watchers. Watchers only watch out for themselves. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. They think the people who are Producers are stupid, because if they were smart they would be Watchers like them. They are worse than the Scientologists.

More Later on Watchers and Producers.

Jackson Delano Maybolt,
Chief Sociologist, Urban Poverty Law Center

"If you think this is bad just wait for the second act." Mother Maybolt, 1922-2008

Urban Poverty Law Center's Balanced Budget Position

Friends,

Watching Politicians in Washington DC squabble about where to spend trillions of dollars both from revenues and borrowed makes my right leg ache and it has not been attached to my torso for over three decades since the John Deere manure spreader mangled it back on that blustery spring day in 1978. I am on disability, SSI, and am only 56 yrs old. Believe you me, I would much rather be working at anything than poking around all alone in mother's house with my four cats. At least I can shape national policy in my work for the UPLC.

I really wanted to opine about the $1.7 trillion deficit that was put together with the TARP(Troubled Asses Relief Program) passed in 2008 and the Stimulus Package passed in January of 2009. This reckless spending before taxes are collected by our representative leaders shirking their fiduciary responsibility to the people is misinformed at best and criminal at worst.

Show me the money! Can Tim Geithner just give us an accounting of where all the TARP funds were placed? Did most of the cash go into secret accounts of Wall Street and Fed Reserve Fat Cats? Does some of this money make its way back into the campaign coffers of our Greatest Deliberative Bodies of the Universe? How will we ever know? No matter. What can we do about it anyway?

Why has only 1/4 th of the Stimulus Package been spent and why did ACORN get $5.7 billion dollars and the Urban Poverty Law Center got $0? Where is the justice?

I promised you a balanced budget plan for idiots. Most will agree that even our representatives could understand this plan. I will give you the one paragraph edition, though I will post the 1000 page edition later for those of you who are so inclined.

All US Gov payments are factored for the deficit. Total Monies spent $4trillion;
Deficit is $1.7 trillion. Reduce all US Gov payments by 1.7/4.0 which is a 42% reduction of all expenditures. Each $100 government outlay would only cost $58 dollars. All Government salaries would see the same cut including Senate, House, and President. If they deficit spend we all suffer equally. It seems only fair. With the balancing of the budget, the checks would go back to parity.

Jackson D. Maybolt, PhD
Chief Economic Adviser, Urban Poverty Law Center

"That's water under the bridge. Precisely where you want it." Mother Maybolt, 1923-2008

Urban Poverty Law Center Policy Statement on Foreign Oil

Friends,

I had a brush with death last week when my Hoverround got stuck in the ice and I fell out and was exposed to freezing temperatures for about 12 hrs before Mrs. Blunderdoss came by and found my nearly lifeless body. My thumb and toes on my left side are gone due to frost bite, but my mind is clear. I have been taking hand fulls of hydrocodone to control the pain. Thank God for these little pleasure pills! Many of my associates out here in Cedar Grove have asked me why the heck we don't just drill for oil here in America and tell the A-rabs to shove all that black crude up their behooties! Well, drilling here in America would be bad for business. Here's why:

Recent world oil consumption is about 90 million barrels per day before the most recent unpleasantness aka, the recession. By international accord all transactions for oil purchases have to be in US Dollars, and only our staunch ally, Iran, will sell their oil in Euro's. This means that at current levels of oil consumption and prices at about $70 per barrel, about $6,300,000,000
are used daily to pruchase petroleum, this translates to about $2,300,000,000,000 read 2.3 trillion US dollars in play each year. Good way to get your currency out there and flowing around the world. The Federal Reserve Bank states that the M1, or supply of liquid money in your pocket or non-savings bank accounts is only 1.3 trillion dollars. M2 is the non-liquid money in savings and money market account which is not as fluid is reportedly at 7.4 trillion dollars.

M1 + M2 is an eye popping 8.7 trillion dollars, but the yearly oil money wheel is over 1/4 of the total of M1 and M2! If oil is not traded in dollars in the future, a lot of money will make its way back home the good old US of A and this may be inflationary! I believe congress knows why we are addicted to foreign oil. We love to spend our money and keep it out there in that geat money wheel. We consume about 25% of the worlds oil for now, but China and India are making a run on it. This is why there are so many poor people in America. Oil, filthy, sticky, stinky, disgusting oil and the dollars that are kept off shore by its acquisition.

Next I will explain how to balance the federal budget painlessly and over night.

Thank you for all the cards and letters wishing a speedy recovery. Your prayers are helping.

Jack D. Maybolt, PhD
Chief Ecconomist Urban Poverty Law Center

"Children who are not dead should be seen and not heard! Children who are dead do not listen anyway." Mother Maybolt, 1928-2008.

Pray for Jack, Urban Poverty Law Center Founder in Hospital

Hello,

Jack Maybolt is in the hospital and asked me to write a short note explaining his situation.

It is not good. He was found outside by the barn, Hoverround stuck in ice and disabled. Apparently he was caught out overnight yesterday and the temperature fell to about 20 F.

The doctors expect him to recover, but he is going to lose most of the toes on his remaining foot and his thumb on his left hand. His core body temp when he was found was 83 F. I told him he needed to get rid of those chickens, but he will not listen. Pray for Jack.

Susan Blunderdoss

Secretary, Urban Poverty Law Center

"Feed a chicken, get an egg; feed a man and all you get is shit!" Mother Maybolt, 1928-2008

Urban Poverty Law Center Not Just for the Poor

Friends,

Nothing like a rainy day to lift one's spirit out of the doldrums, doldrums: a band of ocean around the equator where winds often are lacking for weeks and sailing vessels spent more boring time than most sailors could tolerate on glassy water at a standstill. A little history for the educationally challenged amongst us. I rested well last night since George Norry had a dullard on Coast to Coast.

My letter to President Obama is drafted below and I hope you will make constructive comments if it comes across too strong or too timid. Thank you for your time in this most important of endeavors!

Honorable President Barrack Hussein Obama
The White House
Washington, DC 20201

Dear Mr. President,

Let me first congratulate you because never has someone with so little gotten so far so fast in the short history of our representative republic. Your booming voice with its soothing quality is phenomenal. Even when you are saying nothing it is still impressive. Hearing you speak is like listening to opera, but in English! It is truly remarkable and wondrous. God blessed you with some pipes! Have you ever considered singing professionally?

I did not intend to praise you, for with the press as they stand, you surely do not need my accolades to complete your rising star or keep your ego inflated to XXXL, but I am in need of some serious help with my foundation. I know you have heard of the good work that we do here at the Urban Poverty Law Center. We work tirelessly for the rights of our poor brothers and sisters in the ghetto's of our nations largest and on the slide cities, Detroit, Chicago, Los Angeles, Denver, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Austin to name a few.

We do voter registration drives monthly by hiring pregnant unwed teens to canvass local cemeteries for new registrants. We have fund raisers for community projects such as after school tutorial sessions and clean up abandoned lots and turn them into parks where our children can play. We have drives to buy poor children books they can read and exchange through our mobile book center.

As you can tell from this list of noble acts, we are serious about poverty. Our fellows here at the Urban Poverty Law Center have studied the root causes of poverty in our cities and find one common thread. Lack of money. We need a grant from you to get this message out. Poverty =
a lack of money. It seems simple on the surface, but it is not. Our fellows are hoping to take some grant money and spend/give it out in one of our poorest neighborhoods and then track where it goes. From our research nobody is doing this. We want to answer the question:
where does all the money go? When it hits the street, then what?

I feel certain a brilliant man such as yourself can see this research is vitally needed especially in these embattled times of increasing unemployment and poverty.

I am your dedicated citizen.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, PhD
President, Urban Poverty Law Center
Cedar Grove, TN

"The Good Lord will never burden a person with more that he can bare, but I sure wish He didn't hold me in such high regard." Mother Maybolt, 1924-2008