My Dear Hassanal,
Bill and I want to thank you and the people of Brunei for your most generous contribution to The Clinton Foundation. The $100 million will be used to buy toilet paper for Venezuelans,
and a much needed remodel of Jeff's Bahama "get away" where Bill spends most of his time, but the bathrooms are not ex president friendly. The plumbing is out dated and Bill finds
it very difficult to rise from the throne, given his pasty, spindly underused legs. He is a proud man and is reluctant to call for help especially after dropping a stinker, I have scolded him about his diet, but he continues to eat junk foods, anyway I will not bore you with the details but taller toilets are on order thanks to you.
When I am president, I can assure you your gift will give you special consideration when WWIII breaks. Your kingdom will be included in America's nuclear shield so your safety is assured and Bill will be able to come and play with you, wink wink. I have to cut this short since I am meeting with the Muslim Brotherhood to plot the defeat of Israel's prime minister in the coming election. I know my secret meeting with MB is safe with you, after all you are a member of the tribe.
Bill wants me to ask if "Red" is still with the harem? He has only emailed twice in his life and these gizmo's flummox the ex president. If he sends you a box of cubans would you see that "Red" gets them. She will know what to do with them.
As Ever United States SOS
Honorable Hillary Dianne Rodham Clinton, ESQ
The email speaks volumes.
Jackson Delano Maybolt
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