What Eric Holder Said At His Off-The -Record News Conference: Progressive UPLC Exclusive

I, being the mover and shaker in Cedar Grove, Tennessee, was selected to sit in for the Huffington Post and the New York Times at Attorney General Eric Holder's off the record meeting with news organizations.  I feel really honored to have been included in this group which included Mother Jones, and a couple of other Commie Publications.  They agreed not to spill the beans, but I am talking.

First, Mr. Holder thanked each of us personally for attending and in doing so we joined an elite group of federal employees who with the appropriate clearance from State and the DOD would be entrusted with the information which they believed would take the presure off this administration and the DOJ for tapping into phone and emails of private citizens to stop the leaker.

The leaker has not been identified but they feel certain it is some one high up in the administration with an axe to grind.  The leak involved sensitive information out of Yemen about plots to overthrow the Saudi Government and to take over the world's strategic petroleum reserves and charge twice market prices for all products which come from oil and its components. 

Once they have taken over the oil, they planned to pull all the kitty litter off the markets and start a world wide war on cats and cat owners.   Once cats have been eliminated from the west, they will push for and get gun control like we have never seen. 

The next plot leak involved information from the 1947 crash of the "weather balloon" at Roswell New Mexico, and that DNA from the crash site was hybridized into an unwitting school girl who has a name quite similar to our sitting president's mother.  The hint is that President Barak Hussein Obama is an alien and that he has small suction cups on his finger tips and dines exclusively on freshly slaughtered house cats.

The president's health is dependent upon an ample supply of house cats and he has to eat upwards of a hundred per day or he will begin to lose weight and his health would fail.

This is the truth.   Attorney General Eric Holder, would he lie to us, the press, or congress?

Better stock up on kitty litter Americans!

When they came for the cats, I remained silent since I did not have a cat.  You know the rest.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Progressive Urban Poverty Law Center