As a natural born citizen of the United States of America who was born in Humboldt, Tennessee of parents who were born in Jackson, Tennessee, mother, and father in Troy, Alabama, and since I have a birth certificate that states this and was delivered by Alan Truax, MD at 0430 am at St Mary's hospital, and I am over 35 years old, I am qualified to be president of the United States.
President Barak Hussein Obama, if that is his real name, could have been born in Washington DC and squirted out from between the legs of Abraham Lincoln at his magnificent memorial, and because his father, Barak Hussein Obama, Sr, is a Kenyan subject, he can never be eligible to be president of the United States under the condition that both parents must be citizens of the US to be considered a natural born citizen.
Who cares where this incredibly gifted reader of the teleprompter with the soothing baritone vocal box was born, be he the thin man from Hawaii or the slim man from Kenya or the thin man from Kalamazoo, he does not qualify----period!
The way I see it as soon as he signs legislation changing the United States Tax Code, I and every citizen of these great states can legally stop paying toll to the troll as the thin man from Hawaii, whose father was an African, on this we can ALL agree, is unqualified to make laws and we can all sit back and wait for all 150 million tax cases to work their way through our court systems. Meanwhile the Federal Reserve Bank will just have to print the money necessary to keep the wheels of Big Brother churning while Proud Mary keeps on Burning.
OUR LAWYERS AT THE URBAN POVERTY LAW CENTER STATE UNEQUIVOCALLY THAT BARAK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS NOT A NATURAL BORN US CITIZEN BY NATURE OF HIS BIRTH FATHER, WHO WAS AN AFRICAN NATIONAL. OUR LAWYERS FURTHER AGREE THAT THE BUSH TAX CUTS WILL BY NECESSITY REMAIN IN EFFECT FOR AS LONG AS OBAMA IS PRESIDENT AND FOR THIS REASON BELIEVE THAT IT IS IN OUR BEST INTEREST FOR HIM TO BE ELECTED TO A SECOND TERM.
WARNING: THESE OPINIONS ARE THOSE OF A STABLE OF HIGHLY TRAINED CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYERS WHO NEVER ATTENDED LAW SCHOOL NOR STUDIED THE CONSTITUTION, AND HAVE NEVER BEEN ADMITTED TO ANY STATE BAR TO PRACTICE LAW, BUT DON'T LET THAT CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THEIR BRILLIANCE IN THE POLITICAL THEATER AS THEY ARE ALL LAWYERS AS MUCH AS THE CURRENT PRESIDENT IS A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN!
IF YOU HAVE BEEN INJURED OR HAVE TAKEN ASPIRIN, ACETAMINOPHEN, A BC POWDER, EVER EATEN A MOON PIE WITHOUT AN R-O-C COLA OR BEEN CUT OFF AT THE CHECK OUT COUNTER AT WAL-MART CALL US, YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION. IF YOUR DOG HAS EVER PISSED ON YOUR NEW CARPETS OR YOUR COW DIES FROM OLD AGE OR IF YOUR TOILET PAPER SEEMS TO IRRITATE YOUR BUMHO, CALL US AS YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION. WE ARE THE LAW OFFICES OF THE URBAN POVERTY LAW CENTER. IF YOU ARE OVER 50 AND CAN'T SEEM TO DO AS MUCH AS WHEN YOU WERE 20 CALL US AS YOU MIGHT BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION. IF YOU ARE OVER 50 AND RODE A BICYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET AS A YOUNGSTER AND RODE INTO THE CLOUDS OF SMOKE BILLOWING OUT BEHIND THE TRUCK SPRAYING DDT IN YOUR SMALL SOUTHERN TOWN CALL US AS YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION. IF YOUR ARE OVER 50 AND EVER THE RECIPIENT OF CORPORAL PUNISHMENT IN YOUR PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM AND YOU WERE HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF THE CLASS WHEN YOU CRIED AFTER THE FOOTBALL COACH PADDLED YOU WITH HIS LARGE WOODEN PADDLE AND YOUR GIRL LEFT YOU FOR A TOUGHER GUY BECAUSE OF IT AND YOUR ONLY PAIR OF PANTS IN JUNIOR HIGH WERE PINK CORDAROY, CALL US YOU MIGHT BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION. IF YOU HAVE READ ANY OF THE WRITINGS OF JACKSON D. MAYBOLT, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION BUT DON'T CALL US, WE WARNED YOU. IDIOTS! PHONE? WE DON'T HAVE NO STINKING PHONE!
JACKSON DELANO MAYBOLT , NBC, PRESIDENT UPLC
"Life is too short not to do what is right." Mother Maybolt, 1927-2008
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