Sunday, April 12, 2015

Hillary Clinton's Big Declaration Expected Today: Fawning Media Tremble With Excitement!

Today is the day we have all been waiting for. Hillary Clinton is finally going to make it official. She still covets our nation's highest executive office, the presidency of the United States of America.

Cue the music. "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow!" Don't Stop!

Maybe a better song would be that Sinatra tune, "I had it my way"? And if you think about it, Hillary has had all the wonderful things an American woman can have handed to her on a silver platter.

She rode WJC all the way to the Whitehouse and was co-president until her heavy ham-fisted attempt at Obamacare was exposed as the clap-trap it turned into where she and Bill were rejected by 4/5 of the nation in a sweep of congress in 1994, thank you Newt.

After this humiliating defeat Hillary laid low squelching bimbo eruption after bimbo eruption until Monica's Mouth spilled Bill's beans and genes on that blue dress during that fantastic oral Oval office encounter, without which the Clinton's lying lies would have saved them from the disgrace of an impeachment and his subsequent disbarment.

Sometimes the smallest detail trips up great men and women and saves a nation from its fools. Think Al Gore and his stupid condemnation of guns in America and the second amendment, and losing his election to Bush. A few votes gone here and there can really make a difference in a tight race.

As I ponder her motivation to seek the office I am perplexed. Is she a woman scorned by rejection, first her father, then her husband, then her party when it threw her bowling pin shaped form overboard for that thin brown man from Illinois with the golden vocal cords and a talent for reading teleprompters?

Shakespere said it "Nothing blah blah, like a woman scorned!" My more literate friends can fill in the blah blahs.

Hillary Clinton is a power to be reckoned with. She is ruthless. She is cunning. She is a better candidate in her head than in real life. She is not completely human. She has a coldness about her that puts voters off. She cackles when she laughs. A laugh that one might more closely associate with a witch than a president.

Perhaps one debate can have the candidates all on stage listening to the best comics and Americans could judge them by the character of their laughter.

Do not mock me, this is probably just as good a reason for selecting a president as listening to all those canned speeches to the phony questions flipped up at the candidates like fish to barking seals by the liberal debate moderators.

Hillary has no empathy. "I cannot save every underfunded small business from bankrupcy!" She shrieked when questioned about the impact her health plan would have on small businesses. Voters really want someone like themselves to whom they can relate. This is why Barack Obama got 97% of the black vote.

Anyway, my insider at the Clinton campaign who launders Huma Bedowin's undergarments in Woolite, has informed me they had hoped to bring out the campaign a week or two earlier, but the server for the campaign had to be wiped clean due to the most recent Hillary Clinton hubbub.

Now they have a new server in place and ready for the campaign.

Money, servers, handlers, laugh coaching, limited exposure, even a my turn entitlement, will not let this powerful driven woman in the one position she has coveted all her adult life. Nevermind that she is not qualified. She cannot win because she is flawed. No amount of make-up or plastic surgery can hide the faults.

Just by being Hillary Clinton she has taken herself out as a viable contender. When she is held up to the bright light of a campaign, her flaws and phoniness scream warnings to the voters.

There is something about Hillary Clinton, the ick factor, maybe, but there really is something about her that puts voters off.

I wonder if she shop lifts?

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center

"How fresh can a presidential candidate be when the campaign buys "Summer's Eve" by the case?" Mother Maybolt

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