Urban Poverty Law Center Invites Gaddafi To Start Anew

Dear Colonel Muammar Gaddafi:

I have been reading about your trifles with great interest. I have not decided when you became unfit for leadership of your North African nation, but some one who is much smarter than I has decided you must go. It came as a great surprise to me.

Our esteemed President Barak Obama has called for you to voluntarily step down so the next despot can take your place. He must think you have gone soft with all that tent living and the luscious female body guards. I, as president of the Urban Poverty Law Center, will not make such a brazen and foolish call on you who I barely know. I have followed your career through out the past 30 years and find that we are not so different, you and I.

When you were an ambitious 27 yr old military man overthrowing a corrupt government , I was an invalid at 27 having been crippled by a run away John Deere manure spreader. You were leading a third world oil producing nation out of poverty, when I founded the Urban Poverty Law Center. You were interested in making life better for all middle easterners while I struggled to make life better here in our nation's city slums for our poor inner city brothers and sisters.

At one point you embraced terrorism as an means to an end, and I have thought perhaps I need some of this here to draw attention to our blighted cities and their unfortunate inhabitants. You had the balls to pursue your dream, and mine were taken by Mr. J Deere.

We are about the same age. As mayor of Cedar Grove, Tennessee I can offer you sanctuary and a place to throw your tent and we will see to it that you have everything you need for your horses and camels and your entourage. I will ask that you take a vow of non violence and promise not to shoot me if I ever anger you in any of our dealings. I could make you dictator of Cedar Grove, but the pay would be negligible. I hope you can still get some of your billions out of the Swiss Banks.

I read where the bankers over there have decided to keep you from your deposits. My cousin is an attorney and she has agreed to sue them for you if you wish. Just where do these bankers get the impression they can keep you from your money. If I was your banker I would be afraid a fellow such as yourself could make life interesting for twits like us. Did they do the same to Mubarak? Anyway I am glad I do not have a Swiss bank account.

If you want to take our offer of amnesty please call my secretary, Susan Blunderdoss, and we can make it happen.

Sincerely,

Jack D. Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
Mayor, Cedar Grove, TN

"Somethings should be whispered, while other things can be shouted, but I would not say that at all!" Mother Maybolt, 1922-2008