I will try to keep this brief. ICE is my clever acronym for Interesting Current Events.
Ask any woman, Weiners come and Weiners go. Anthony(the boner)Weiner D. NY, anounced his resignation from his congressional district in Brooklyn and Queens.
His wife, Huma, was not at his side as she was with her boss, Secretary of State, Hillary Roddam Clinton on a trip to the Sudan. I suspect the marriage of Anthony to Huma is a sham only to serve as a beard. Hah, doubters, Huma is even pregnant! Show me the baby or come out of the closet. The gossips and rumors are spinning out of control!
Anthony Weiner has agreed to a lucrative contract to model for Fruit of the Loom. Haines already has Michael Jordan. UnderArmor broke off talks after Congressman Weiner announced his resignation. A spokesperson for UnderArmor said quitting is not the image we wish to associate with our products.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "beard" as my father explained it to me years ago: If a man has a mistress and he wishes to be seen in public with her, he invites another man to attend the event, dinner, or a play to act as a cover or a "beard" so the local gossips would not be tempted to talk. Works every time.
A second debate among the various republican candidates for the nomination for vice president was held in New Hampshire last week. There were plenty of fireworks. The competition for Joe Biden's spot is moving right along. Joe, the smoe, continues to work on his gaffs and is wondering who will replace him should Barack Obama decide to seek a second term.
The Republican party's nomination for president don't you mean? No, I got it right. Sarah Palin will be the nominee for the number one slot, and the others are only there to put the icing on the cake. Sarah Palin and Herman Cain will win in a landslide along with many other Tea Party candidates and the direction of the country will vere sharply away from the abyss and back towards Prosperityville.
After a few tumultuous years with these unusually proficient incompetents at the helm, having sober adults in control of our government will be refreshing and I will not have to stay so close to the crapper. Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!
Colonel M. Qaddafi has managed to outlive Osama Bin Laden, in his struggle against the International Monetary Fund backed by the North Atlantic Treaty Organization of Petroleum Importers with its bumbling titular head Mr. Barack Hussein Obama. The bombs and rockets keep on falling while Mummuar keeps on bawling. I heard last week the bankers have come for his gold, some estimates say it is at 30 metric tons, and the Organization of Petroleum Importers want the oil. It seems as though not all the pirates live in Somalia.
Mark Twain said everything best. "No man can stand success, another's that is."
The meek shall inherit the earth. Be sure to marry an ugly woman for she will not break your heart when she grows older. Some things are best viewed from afar, lightning for example, and active volcanoes. Nothing satisfies like striking an insolent smaller relative with an open hand across the buttocks, not even a cigarette after dinner.
In local news, our community has lost some of its star citizens this month. Two to cancer, one to a terrible car accident and a fourth took ill after a tick bite to the scrotum became infected. Cedar Grove mourns them all and UPLC sends its heart felt condolences to all the survivors.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"Bless you!" Mother Maybolt, 1925-2008
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