Blogosphereons,
As President of the Urban Poverty Law Center, Ms. Susan Blunderdoss informs me protocol requires I welcome all foreign dignitaries Hu or Hum (here I get the syntax confused) visit our great United States of America. I saw on Fox News where China's president Hu is here for a state visit. I have enclosed a copy of my greeting and advice to the President of China which I faxed to the editrixx of the Wall Street Journal. I have no doubt they will publish it in today's paper, or at least in the Online edition.
19, January 2011(Chinese Year of the Defaulters)
President Hu:
As President of the Urban Poverty Law Center I wish to welcome you, Hu, to our great nation. I hope you, Hu, enjoyed the lavish state dinner put on by our esteemed politician, President Barack Hussein Obama. I got a copy of the menu via a distant relative, Hu, works in a lower position with the presidents Secret Service detail. Champagne, caviar, fresh dates from the middle east, poppies from Afghanistan, bar-b-Que goat fresh from Pakistan, yak cream fresh from Tibet, Kobe beef from Iowa, a nice selection of fresh dog from North Korea. I hope you, Hu, enjoyed it, and the grandiosity of the event with its splendidly spectacular display of conspicuous consumption which was intended to reassure you, Hu, that the United States Government is flush with Cash!
But you, Hu, like I, know that after the last champagne toast is guzzled down by our third tier diplomats and their parasitic and quite frankly obese spouses and before the appetizers even hit their government backed colons, somebody has to pay for it all. I understand that you ,Hu, traveled to the US on a civilian 747 with China Air markings spending only 75,000 yuan.
Barack, Michelle, Mikala,and Sasha Obama spend ten times that on meals and travel on a slow day in the White House. Here is where I believe that you, Hu, and I as an American Taxpayer are not that different, but you, Hu, are not in as much trouble as we are when the default occurs. OR ARE YOU, HU?
Yes, I wrote it, the default will occur. Here is where a little math is good. I do not wish to sound racist, but I know you, Hu, are probably quite adept and comfortable with numbers and math. Here is the nut.
Estimates from the Congressional Budgetary Office place the cost of the lavish State Dinner honoring you, Hu, at about 12 million dollars not counting the flowers which were a gift from Sarah Palin. Using this past years budget numbers and assuming this years deficit will be similar, you, Hu, are on the hook for 42% of that amount as an American Creditor, whereas I, Hu, as an American taxpayer am on for only 58%.
Do you, Hu, think those smiles with the champagne toasts to you, Hu, could have been mocking you, Hu, because you, Hu, will not spend lavishly on yourself, but continue to permit these" Western Imperialistic Dogs" to live the high life as you, Hu, struggle to feed 1.5 billion Chinese people every day! What is in it for you, Hu? Why do you, Hu, continue to pay toll to the trolls in Washington, DC by buying our debt?
Are you, Hu, afraid of our military? Under this current President, who is all hat and no cattle, your fears are unfounded. Has the IRS written to you, Hu, a threatening letter like the ones it sends to thousands of its hard working US citizens every year, whose only crime was to do business and earn a profit in this once great land of ours and not be able to comply with the god damned tax code? The inmates are ruining the asylum! No that was not a typo.
I believe I know what you, Hu, fear. It is mentioned in a previous paragraph. You, Hu, fear failing to feed and provide for your billion point five charges. You, Hu, realize that the United States is the worlds bread basket and its farmers are who you, Hu, should be in direct talks with before the coming great default brought on by the great clowns who now inhabit our halls of congress.
If the Great American Farmer fails for only one growing season, people starve, people riot, governments fall, and the world will be in hurt. I suggest that you, Hu, and Barack, and the others begin to print your yuan, dollars, and euros on rice paper, and be sure to add a little chicken or beef flavoring, depending on the denomination, so when all we have left is money, just add water, heat, and stir and the money will not be a complete waste.
I, Hu, am available to negotiate an independent contract with America's farmers. We need to have in place the ability to provide seed, fuel, fertilizer and herbicides, etc and the use of the infrastructure, trucking shipping etc. I can get you a third of the crop if you, Hu, can provide the above mentioned items. Forget your military build up. It is the food man!
President Hu, contact me at my home in Cedar Grove, Tn if you, Hu, wish to begin the negotiations with America's farmers in earnest. This is what we do at America's Urban Poverty Law Center. We do what is right.
Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center
"I loathe Jo Ann Studebakker, everything she eats turns to shit, everything!" Mother Maybolt 1915-2008
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