I am back from yet another near death experience after having fallen on the ice, striking my head and causing what my doctor calls a fatal injury in 99 + percent of those so afflicted. I lay in a coma for nearly five and a half months, fed by tubes and when I had the misfortune of waking from my coma, my doctor quickly sent me home on vicodin and valium and wished me luck. I am a bit groggy from the medications and I apologize if my thoughts seem jumbled but I had to comment on a few of the things I slept through.
British Petroleum hits a gusher a mile deep in the Gulf of Mexico spilling, some say, a million barrels of oil each day! Put a pipe in the pipe and let it gush up into tankers and bring it to our refineries. What is so hard about that? Problems solved! If my first solution fails, peak oil theory states we are out of oil or nearly so. This being the case all we have to do is wait this million barrel a day gusher out and after a few billion barrels or so the gusher will peter out and all the oil ever produced from dead dinosaurs and their bowel contents when they were trapped 17 miles below the earth will have been spewed into our gulf waters. Warning: the abiatic theory for production of oil states oil is produced naturally from carbon and hydrogen by the heat and pressure deep in the bowels of the earth and is an ongoing, not only an ancient process. If this theory is correct that leaky pipe could cause some serious problems for a long, long time!
Arizonan vote to uphold the law against illegal immigration and the Obama
administration sues to stop Arizona from following the law. What? The message I am taking from this is that laws are only laws when they are convenient? Inconvenient laws can be ignored?
Not suprisingly, while in a coma I was voted into office and now am the Mayor of Cedar Grove, Tennessee. It seems I was the only citizen so afflicted as to not be able to decline the nomination and I won by default. Cedar Grove is unincorporated, but encompases as much real estate as most of Rhode Island.
My first act as Mayor was to make Cedar Grove, Tennessee, a sancturary site for all persons who wish to avoid paying federal income taxes. Of course you still have to pay the state and local taxes, but say good-by to those pesky FICA and SS taxes forever! Don't want to pick up and move to Cedar Grove? Well you can get a citizenship identification card which gives you all the rights and priviledges associated with Cedar Grove, TN residency by sending in $100 to:
Jackson Delano Maybolt, Mayor
PO Box 13
Cedar Grove, TN 38321
We will get you one of our tax exempt Cedar Grove, TN citizenship cards out in the mail as soon as possible. These cards are honored in all fifty states and more importantly in Washington, DC! Not trying to sound like one of those cheap early am infomercials, but this may be the best $100 you ever invested.
My head is starting to pound again and my fingers are starting to cramp up and I need to take another vicovalium and get a short nap. I am not through with my rants yet. We have building lots available to those who wish to relocate. We have city water, but you will have to get Bufford Taylor to bring his back hoe over and dig your septic system. Contact David, Banjo, Bell for more information.
Later,
Jack D. Maybolt, President
Urban Poverty Law Center
Mayor of Cedar Grove, TN
" Freedom is just another word." Mother Maybolt, (1922-2008)
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