Urban Poverty Law Center And The Washington Redskins: Name That Team

I have been giving very little thought of late about the controversy which has taken the nation's media nincompoops by storm. American football teams have always striven for mascots which project a certain amount of power. This falls even to the most beginner leagues. Not too many mascots are chosen which project weakness.

I wanted to call my 5th grade basketball team the "turtles", but my father who was the coach forbid it and we became the Main Street Elementary Panty Liners.

The play by play on the radio went something like this: Maybolt, has the ball at the point for the Panty Liners. He passes the ball off to Johnson, the big 5 foot inch Panty Liner, who plays center, fakes left and drives to the basket, he shoots, and scores! Main Street Elementary Panty Liners take the lead from the East End Elementary Scaredy Cats.

Now the manufactured outrage over the Washington Redskins choice of mascots is ridiculous. It is just a football team. How does one know it is a reference to Native Americans and not to us pigmentedly challenged citizens after a week at the beach. As a pale sunbather I often became a redskin at some cost to my comfort.

Well, as all things go once the intellectually challenged set sights on someone or something, it is inevitable the name will fall. Therefore I have taken the time to take the following internet domain names in hopes I can sell it some day soon to the Washington Panty Liners.

Washington Rebskins

Washington Edskins

Washington Redskims

Washington Redslims

Washington Wedskins (just how Elmer Fudd would say Washington Redskins)

Washington Bledskins

Washington Ledskins (just how our Japanese friends would say Washington Ledskins)

Washington Lobbiest

Washington DeeCees

Washington Turtles (My favorite)

I have thankfully lost interest in this subject and I am sorry to subject you to this nonsense.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center