Urban Poverty Law Center President, Jackson Delano Maybolt, Seeks Public Office

As many of you know who have read these pages filled with wit, wisdom, and nonsense, and not in any particular order, Jack Maybolt is a multifaceted genius in his own mind.
He can drive a tractor, pull a calf, catch a fish, cook an omelette, pour syrup without spilling a drop, eat enough food and drink enough water to keep a man alive for over 60 years, all the while conforming to which ever woman was controlling his life at the time. First his mother and her mother, then a series of babysitters, teachers, girlfriends and then wives. He learned his tact for women from his father who like himself only went along with the nonsense of the demands made on him for the sweet surprise promised for a later time. When his father lost interest in the fairer sex, he was dead within 6 months. I do not know if there is a connection but I am not willing to risk it at my age. Anything can happen.

I have made my way back into aviation over the past four months after amassing over 1500 hrs of flying small airplanes without a fatality, I sold my third airplane in April of 2004 and thought I would never again lift off the ground with me at the controls. I was wrong. My nephew, Tonto Maybolt, whose mother is a full blood Choctaw squaw, has dyslexia and is not burning up the grades at school and his mother, Running Bear, came over and sought my advice for young Tonto, all I could recommend is flying. So I started looking for a good used airplane to buy so we could teach Tonto how to fly and perhaps get him a job with that skill.

Flying a plane is not as hard as it might seem. If you make the plane go fast enough it will fly. The planes I have had in the past all flew at 60 mph and stopped at 59 mph. The trick to keeping them flying seems to be keeping your airspeed up until you want to land. Then slow the plane and bring it down and have it stop flying or "stall" it a few inches over a runway. It is a learned skill best practiced over and over so as not to get it wrong.

The other pitfalls of flying your own plane include not getting in over your head. Things to avoid for the new timer low time pilot include bad weather. A small plane will not fly with parts broken off. Many pilots have met their doom by flying into thunderstorms. Likewise planes can become overloaded by ice very quickly and will not fly in that condition. Cold air plus clouds is a no go for the pilot of a small plane. I flew into a blizzard one night over Wyoming and was only saved by a gizmo called a "wing leveler" and my very strong guardian angel who guided me safely past Elk Mountain's 11,400 foot peak. I learned how to control the aircraft by instruments alone after that night of terror so as to lessen the load on my angel.

Buying more airplane than you can fly is another great pitfall. In the 40's Beechcraft produced a really fast airplane which became known as the "V-Tail Doctor Killer". It was not a bad airplane, on the contrary it was a great plane, but it was so fast, many inexperienced pilots, and a great number of them were physicians who flew infrequently, would get behind in things like landings, weather, and options for remedies once a misstep was made flashed by too fast for a recovery. A lot of good doctors who were poor pilots wound up in the twisted wreckage of a V-Tail Bonanza, but for some very strong divine interventions I might have met my end in a straight tail Cherokee and become the 30th plane lost up on Elk Mountain.

Small airplane prices have plummeted in the past 6 years. Blame the economy, blame $5 a gallon aviation fuel, or blame the democrats, prices of small planes are off by about 30% over the highs before 2008. It is a bad time for sellers, but a great time for buyers. It is a buyer's market. I found a local plane, a 1968 Cherokee 180 with low total time and low overhaul time on the engine for less than I paid for the same plane in 1989, my first plane, when you adjust the price for inflation. I had a knowledgeable aircraft mechanic look it over and purchased it for Tonto and me. I got current and after flying about 10 hrs, all the memories of flight came back and I was comfortable in my skills and up in the air again. I have over 25 hrs flying now in this new plane and the other one I bought which goes much faster than the Cherokee 180.

I will not say what the other plane is but it travels at 180mph at cruise, where as the Cherokee 180 putts along at 124 mph. I can fly from my home airport to Pensacola, Fl in 2.5 hrs in the faster plane.

The faster plane was designed in 1954 by Al Mooney for Mr. Piper and the first ones rolled off the assembly line in 1958. They are sleek and fly like fighter planes. They have many airworthy directives which must be complied with yearly but they are worth the trouble because as one owner put it "they are the closest thing to flying a P-51 mustang the general aviation pilot can achieve".

Oh I almost forgot, I am seeking public office right here in Cedar Grove. A spot on the airport commission has opened up. I am running.

I hope you will support me.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center

Here We Go Again! When Did You Republicans Stop Beating Your Wives? Minimum Wage And Female Pay Inequity, Anybody?

When the pleasant, portly, presidential, democrat, debate plant, Candy Crowley, caught Mitt Romney off guard with her query about denying American women birth control, the fix was in to garner the stupid vote among 51% of the population. Then the partisan little troll Georgie Steps-on-all-of-us carried the ball a little further down the field and in a few weeks, every woman in America is aware of the danger a Romney presidency would hold for her uterus.

The democrat misinformation tactic worked and our Lightweight Insincere African Ruler (LIAR) was swept back into office by a swell of election fraud and the roar of 32 million uteri all flowing and voting in lock-step for our LIAR. Mitt Romney was relegated to the dust bin of forgotten Republican Presidential candidates by a false issue foisted on us by clever democrat operatives and a willing press filled by stooges like "Fatty" Candy Crowley and her diminutive side kick George Stephenopoulos.

It appears today's new democrat lie is "Republicans not only want your uterus to become impregnated against you will, but also do not want to pay your children who work at McDonalds a living wage, nor do they want your sisters to make the same pay as your brothers!"

Intelligent voters, by this I mean libertarians and most republicans, see this for the lie it is, but the democrat with two digit IQ's cannot see the forest for the trees, what ever that means. They will be swayed by this line just as the double digit uteri were by the false birth control argument back in 2012.

I heard Mark Levin rant on his radio program yesterday about how preposterous these new lies are and he is right but make no mistake, it will be effective with the voting block the lies are intended to sway. The Stoopid. There are two Americas as John Edwards so foolishly blurted out between decrepit orgasms with his mistress during the stoopid party's presidential nomination process in 2000 in which the stoopids selected that global warming savant, Albert Phineas Gore, Jr, : the republican/libertarian/constitutionalist and the democrat/progressive/socialist.

Now, it does not matter how crazy the charge and how false it is, if these issues becomes the major talking points up to the election of 2014, and it will, given the hand in glove nature of the media and the democrat national committee, the loyal opposition must come up with a plan to capitulate to the lie and neutralize the issue so some progress can be mustered for America. The house republicans must immediately bring up legislation to raise the minimum wage and lower taxes on the brightest among us so the democrat held senate can vote it down over and over again. House legislation to equalize pay for the sexes should come out immediately in a form that can pass the senate and be signed by the LIAR into law.

I am not smart enough to plan the counter attack, but perhaps someone in the republican national committee can get working on the counter offensive. Otherwise the new senate will remain in the enemy's camp and our circle of influence for the greater good will be stymied.

Freedom pissed away by tricks and skullduggery from thuggish politicos whose marxist training worships "the ends justifies the means" and we must remember all's fair in love and war, and patriots, this is not love.

To leave these baseless and false charges unanswered is to ceed the issue to the party of stoopid. If the loyal opposition is not smarter than that they deserve the drumming they will get in November of this year.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President, Urban Poverty Law Center

Spring Cleaning At The Urban Poverty Law Center-----Do Not Read This!

I am sorry for those of you who have missed these wise scribblings of a deranged mind. About a month ago I found myself agreeing with major portions of the democrat platform especially as it applies to abortion, gun control, gender politics, taxation, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, health care, marriage, and minimum wage. In a word I was depressed.

I did the only thing I could do, it was either check myself into The Betty Ford Center, or listen to Rush 24/7 archives breaking out only to take in Mark Levin's daily program. I chose the former, where I spent an incredible month relaxing in a spa, listening to my therapist explain why I was weakening on my conservative positions on the above issues given the constant barrage of propaganda spewing from the popular media and entertainment industries. She brought me back to my senses and when Putin laughed at our president, I chuckled at his, our president's, chuckle-headed response to Russian aggression in the free market.

What is Vlad thinking? If he thinks he can force a better life for his people and his country by making it easier for him to sell his oil and natural gas on the open market to the highest bidder, then he must think he lives in America, where men and companies are free to conduct business in a safe and fair market place where profits are protected by the rule of law, crony capitalism, and not by threats of confiscation.

And now Vlad and the Iranians have struck a deal which involves oil for barter, skipping the formerly required conversion of oil into US dollars step which has been a requirement since we won World War II.

Well, we may have won that war, and we may have won the Cold War, but we have lost the economic war by not defending our currency. The US dollar is quickly becoming the world's joke currency. We are the new Zimbabwe. China, Russia, and Iran are backing away from it. How long before OPEC breaks away from the dollar? What will become of the US?

Indeed, what will become of us all? I had a dream of an America without wealth. Commerce halted. Big farming halted. Transportation halted. Industry halted. Medicine and healthcare halted. Walmart with empty shelves. People of all economic strata, equal at last, the utopian dream. The poor unable to buy for lack of money. The rich unable to buy for lack of production. People lining up at the abortion clinics hoping for a scrap of meat. Neighborhoods devoid of pets that were long ago placed on the table. A taste for human flesh, cannibals among us are identified by their BMI of greater than 2.5%, and executed then quartered and fed to the starving masses. State sponsored cannibalism is OK, black market cannibalism is illegal in all 50 states except in Washington DC where it is legal on the 4th of July.

The rich escape to the oceans but must from time to time try to land for essentials of fresh water and fruits and vegetables. Pirates make these landings dangerous but interesting. Only the thin and sickly are safe from suspicion. Tribes are quickly formed with local alliances for the protection of the band. Outsiders are shunned. Bridges are destroyed to stop transgression from the crowded inner cities to the country. The population of our country falls to 100 million within six months, and 25 millions within a year.

And that is the brighter picture.

Now I learn the weirdest of the weirdos at Dartmouth have taken over the Dartmouth administration building demanding special rights, higher quotas for nonwhites, more gender neutral bathroom facilities, sex change operations covered in the student health care plans, with no premium increase of course, and their final absurd demand is to change the name to "Dartanus"!

If the administration caves to the first three demands they may as well cave to the last. Of course the pronunciation would be Dart-an-us, or Dar-tanus not the other funny way.

Jackson Delano Maybolt, President Urban Poverty Law Center