It is with great pleasure and a joy to add our organization to the list of supporters of the New York City, Mosque of the liberation of the islamic brothers. We had a meeting last week at the beer tavern here in Cedar Grove, and we had a great turn out thanks in no small part by The Grove sponsoring the third annual beer hall competition darts tournament.
The measure passed by a margin of 37 yeas, to one nay, and one abstention. Bufford Wickers, the oldest man in Cedar Grove, abstained, he is 104 yrs old. He has walked one and a half miles in the past two weeks, and once walked seven blocks in the pouring rain with no shelter save a black umbrella. He walked to the poll and voted for the democrat- which is a lie.
He is marrying his chilhood sweetheart, Miss Hollandeau Flatbottom, next week, a girl of 102, who still baby sits for neighbors. They have been engaged for 83 yrs, but up until three days ago their parents had steadfastly refused to grant their consent. They are planing a honeymoon trip to Viagra Falls. She hopes to conceive on the honeymoon as she has always had a hankering for having children and often admonished Bufford that her biological clock is ticking.
She plans for a large family. Bufford is not certain he is ready for that kind of commitment and bought a six-pack of trojan condoms. Quipped that i'd be his luck that one would bust and Holly would get her wish! They are both virgins and attend the Cedar Grove Church for Christ's Sakes. Reverend Ocie Cyborgue is doing the premarital counseling and will do the ceremony. If you ain't got anything better next Tuesday they plan to tie the knot right after the flea market disbands at 10 am because of the heat.
If you want spirits at the wedding party you must byob and be careful not to let the bride and the groom see it as they are active members of the Prohibition Party since its founding in 1869.
They are registered at the Dollar General Store in Trezevant.
May the Mosque be holy and built as planned. Praise be to Allah! Amen!
Jack D. Maybolt, President UPLC
Note: The above story is a plagiarism of a short by Mark Twain "A Fine Old Man".
Mr. Twain did it best!
"I never met a Muslim I did not like. But I never met a Muslim." Mother Maybolt 1923-2008
